RETURN
I’m grateful for the exhaustive journey
Where the sea is abundant though I only need
A few drops to quench my thirst
I’m grateful for all the songs I’ve heard
And all the beings I’ve met, dead and alive
Who speak the same l-a-n-g-u-a-g-e
The great distance only brings you closer
To my daily laboring in the loud silence
Where I learn how to undo the night by gathering stars
Each room is a poem
Each poem a flower that grows deeper
Into the soil at my finger tips
I’m grateful for your open arms
Making me realize that I have never left you
(Coming back as naked as ever been)
I’m also grateful for the confusion and the bitter wine
I had to drink before something so small
Like a poem could free me
But what trickery the word “freedom” can be!
Now the “slaves” are given the free reign
To run as fast as the cogs in machines
“I am back!” I say to a black wall
Grateful for not knowing who I am today
(What a wonder it is to forget "who I am" even for a day!)
You remain silent, waiting & loving all the same
::june 2005
art: Allison Keating
by水滴 发表评论于
ZF: Sure, sure, creating is definitely included, and also being..
In using proper words, LTG is the master of it. Waiting for his import in this aspect.:))
知凡 发表评论于
"Knowing, understanding and accepting are ways to overcome fear and to earn freedom."
水滴，我说了这么多，你一句就总结了，你的悟性，“兰心慧质”“不打自招”:)
但除了Knowing, understanding and accepting ，最重要的是创造。Knowing, understanding and accepting 可以 overcome fear，但earn是创造，占有得不到freedom.....
by水滴 发表评论于
ZF: Well said!
Knowing, understanding and accepting are ways to overcome fear and to earn freedom.
YY说“I still love what Henry Miller says that there is no short cut in our journey of life, the seemingly most difficult one turns out to be the easiest.”我百分百同意…..
If only painting a cake, there is no chance to taste it. I like Chairmao's say, "if you want to know how a pear tastes, bite it."
However not everyone has chance to taste pears. Even when the one has cahnce to taste, it is very possible that someone taste something very bad and there is no way the person enjoys the taste. Tasting itself doesn't help one get rid of the fear. To the opposite, some new fears are generated due to the taste...
YY: Frankly speaking, I don't understand and don't like those mysterious and elusive 禅语 much. Some people can pretend they understand something without much understanding. :))
画饼充饥 is one way of self-soothing. It can only tempary resolve the problem.
影云 发表评论于
红杉，
给你个禅语；画饼充饥
看你能悟出多少 ？
：)
by水滴 发表评论于
YY, where do you sensed that I am approaching the "Dead End"?? :))
It is only a theoritical or philosophical discussion. Climbing the mountain is a good anology, but one need to choose a highest mountain to climb. SOmetimes, climb is not enough. We need to fly to obtain a bird view. Sometimes, flying is not enough, we need to use the imagination to reach a height that no physical being can reach...
Sometimes, the farther sight does not make a person fear less. How much one can "Enjoy your life" is not necessary proportional to the degree of freedom one has. Different kind of people enjoys different kinds of life, so to speak.
//
Ultimate freedom is a goal that perhaps no human being can reach. So I don't need to worry about what I want ot be after I reach it. What I wondering about is what is the best way to overcome our fear along the way of climbing. I haven't learned a good solution yet. If I have a better answer, I expect that I can climb a moutain under a brighter moonlight instead of under the total darkness..
影云 发表评论于
As you said, there was no short cut for anything. I still love what Henry Miller says that there is no short cut in our journey of life, the seemingly most difficult one turns out to be the easiest.
My question for you is what you want to be after you reach the ultimate freedom if you can? To me, life is like climbing a mountain, the one you conquer is not the last one. But the process of climbing makes life an enjoyment. You climb higher and higher (not along your career ladder) to see farther and farther.
The Buddhism you mentioned is kind of prejudiced. You can selectively pick something you need from it. Or should I say, there is no absolute solution for this kind of problem - - - but you need to live through it, taste it, and find it out bit by bit - - - that’s life!!!
Enjoy your life, don’t get into Dead End.
by水滴 发表评论于
Oh, forget about Buddhism's point. They suggest us to suppress or ignor our fear of the lower level need to free ourselves from the endless desires. I agree that it provided us a solution of the problem. But I don't know whehter it is a best solution or not. As you all know the Buddhism also used the assumption of re-incarnation to make us fear about our next life. That fear is a bigger fear to overcome. So, I don't think that the buddhism provided us an ultimate solution.
And I don't know what is an ultimate solution to overcome our defferent level of fear and to finally free us. I don't think poetry is an ultimate solution either, but it is a good way to cope and process our fear. Is my assumption make sense to our dear poets??
by水滴 发表评论于
Hmm, YY: to be fearless is a good way to explain "freedom". Having no fear of not being able to support basic body need is a low level of "freedom". having no fear of not being loved or bing alone is another level. Having no fear of not being existing after physical body die sound obvious, but actually not easy to pass. Most people love to be remembered by the others after he/she dies, don't they?
Agree with LTG, seems to me that one has to pass the lower level of freedom first. Seems there is no short cut. If short cut, it seems to me that one will not feel fulfilled...
Thanks for YY's reminding. The thoughts lingering in my mind and I couldn't clarify them. Now they are more clear.
//
SO called "freedom" used by politician is a "lable" that they use to exploit and to deceive their blinded followers. Instead of slaving the others by visible hands, now the politicians slave the others by the invisible hands,such as moral, value, duty, etc, and make the followers believe that they can freely make their choices. Is that really so?? Aren't they more feared by whatever the politicians told them, terrorists, cheaper labors from the other country, God's rage, etc, etc..
by水滴 发表评论于
嗯。。还有, 关于孤燕和鸳鸯的比喻很有意思，容我细细琢磨琢磨。。
影云 发表评论于
Indeed, z. z. already answered the question.
Freedom out of materialism, privilege, and the like, is momentary since it always drives people with desire and greed and can never be fulfilled, indeed it’s a trap.
Another example of freedom is Buddhism, which says a person without desire is free out of anything. You have no fear and then you will be free.
LTG and YY: Thanks for paying attention to my question!
LTG: sometimes you can be quite "slippery".:))
影云 发表评论于
i'll help;)
LTG 发表评论于
haha....no r.c......not annoying at all :)
i will write more later.... lemme think about it....tough questions!!!
anybody want to help me?
:)
by水滴 发表评论于
LTG:What is simple freedom and what is higher degree (level) of freedom? Can you talk about it more?
Well, if you feel that I am too annoy tonight, just ignor me.:))
LTG 发表评论于
freedom?
isn't there a freedom in poetry?
i am not talking about traveling around the world with $$$$$$$ in one's bank account....:)
freedom has many "degrees"....we have to experience "simpler" freedom before we experience "higher degree" of freedom....
it is not the kind of "freedom" politicans talk about either :)
that is how i feel, by the way.....
by水滴 发表评论于
YY. I totally agree with you, without that middle break, "this poem would be a burning piece, or the emotion and feelings would be flooding." For some unknow reasons, I like the breathtake feelings, the passion, the feeling of creation with one breath (Yi Qi He cheng)
Some piece, such as "wakefulness" that LTG just wrote is meditative. Meditative while stay wakeful. I also like that piece very much..
by水滴 发表评论于
LTG abd YY. Thanks!
LTG: When you writing, do you changing the meaning of different "you" in the same piece? Does "you" in the last sentence also means "higher being"?
Also "freedom" is a interesting word. How do you define "freedom" in your mind (or heart)?
LTG 发表评论于
r.c. & y.y.
veeeeeeeeeeeery interestin' discussion!!!
the "meeeeeeeeeaning" in a poem is up to the reader to interpret because a poem "comes" like a thought, a sound, a fragrance, a fresh breeze, etc.etc.etc.
the 2nd person pronoun "you" is also risky in writing....
who is "you?"
you?
me?
she?
or none of the above?
in this poem, "you" was intended to be a "higher being," if you ask me...
so, r.c., you have all the freedom to interpret it....:)
y.y.'s understanding is very helpful....
the musicality in poetry is not quite like that of music because a poem is to be "read" by the mouth, the eyes, the mind....and visually it's also different from music.....but there is very much common ground between the two art forms...
影云 发表评论于
Interesting, RC!!!
This short stanza is like an intermezzo in music - - - those stanzas starting with ‘I am grateful” are passionate; if this stanza were taken out, then I would say this poem would be a burning piece, or the emotion and feelings would be flooding. But with it, it punctuates your mind to think and calm you down - - - which is one of great qualities of zz’s poems, Meditative..
To me, ‘You” are something which exists and does not change because of our ignorance or our lack of knowledge - - - for example, love, soul, life, or those abstract objects we have talked over and over.
“You remain silent, waiting & loving all the same”.
To visualize this line, just think of Mother - - - what can it mean to you?
What is returning?
Just a thought : )
by水滴 发表评论于
ZZ: Thanks for the reply!
LTG: I am still trying to interpret the poem. I am not sure what does "you" refer to in the poem. Also can you explain a little bit more about "You remain silent, waiting & loving all the same"
To the poets, like you and YY, my question might be silly. Hope you understand that sometimes a person without much poetic sense can get lost among the words..:))
//
About the short stanza. I don't know whether intentionally breaking a flowing piece or change rhythm is a good idea or not. I understand that in music changing the speed (allegro, adagio, etc) can enrich the melody. But I don't know whether it can produce the same effects in a condensed poem piece...I really don't know..:))
i think we all need "revolution" inside ourselves....
我百分百赞同！
LTG 发表评论于
"其实“革命”对生命个体的本意就是要命"...
:))
very true!!!
some poets in history indeed caused "revolution" when the reality sucked...
on another level, i think we all need "revolution" inside ourselves....if we do that, the world might be a better place without people killing each other in the name of "revolution"...
y.y., thanx for sharing the translation as usual!!!
水滴, it's great that you can relate this piece with your own experience! Your observation on that shorter stanza is really good. The reason I changed the sentence length is to "break the pattern" of " I'm grateful...." It serves to "slow down" the poem, or getting into another dimension...
Traditionally, such patterns are too common and out-of-date. I took risk of using them, and realized that I didn't want all that.
I have been reading this poem over and over. It just my personal feelings that if you took away the verse "Each room is a poem Each poem a flower that grows deeper Into the soil at my finger tips" the whole piece will have a better sense of flow.
AAAB 发表评论于
I just love it......
I’m grateful for your open arms
Making me realize that I have never left you
