posting records

Once upon a time, I was a burglar 2006-03-07 ======================================================================================
I just could not find the key of my bike.

I thought it must be at home, but it was not. I looked in all my drawers in my office, it was not there either.Well, it was not too bad, I could take the tram to go to work and back home. And so I did, for a whole week now.

I had to do something: my bike was not a new one,but very practical. I got it from a student in the campus, a young guy who had been know to be "the bike seller". He always had cheap bikes for sale.My lock was not a very solid one, that cheap kind of bike lock: a soft metal loop, with a yellow plastic coating, probably imported from China. But it was firm enough to bind my bike to that bike base in front of our institute. I would need some tool to break it.

I found an old metal file in our small tool box from the utility downstairs, and a knife. So, today was the day to do it. I wanted to have it done before lunch time.

After the morning coffee, I went out of our building and walked to the bike parking base in the front, with my tools. It was a grey and wet day.

The rain overnight had washed the small street fresh and clean. Occasionally, there were a couple of pedestrians on the street, on their ways to work I guessed.
It was easy to cut off the plastic coat of the lock, but to cut through the weaved soft metal strings proved to be challenging. I filed through a couple of the strings, then found it hard to hold on to the same position of the cut. My file always slip into a different groove. I tried to stretch it straight, but filing it the same time was almost impossible. I felt wet on my forehead. Maybe I should go back and get some help from my colleagues?

"Could I help you?" A voice came from behind me.
I turned around: a man was looking at me, smiling. He was a short guy in his 40s. It seemed he was on his way to work, he was half way formally dressed. A brown leather suitcase in his right hand.
"I would be very thankful!" I said, feeling warm in my heart.
"If you could pull this against that base, and I could file it through much better. It was quite difficult when it swings while I am filing" I told him.
And he began to pull it hard. It was a big help, I saw the effect already.
"So, you don't have other way to get it open? Like, ah, using a key?" He asked me.
He just need to use his hands for me, so we could have a nice conversation.

What a luck. I got help, and the same time I could exercise my Deutsch. I had been in Germany about 2 years by now, and still felt difficult to talk freely. My language barrier made my life extra lonely, and finding occasion to use German in real life was not easy. There was not as much talkative people around as in China.
"Yeah. I tried to find it for a week now, and it seemed I have lost it." I said, between my breath.
"You are pretty skilful using that file." The man told me.
"Thank you. I worked a couple of years as electrician, some years ago." I said with a little pride.
Yes, I had worked through a couple of job before my university time. That helped me to build up some muscle. I was pretty proud about it when we had some force play among the students that time. And more importantly, it got me feel comfortable among people.
"Are you on your way to your work? Hopefully I don't get you too late for your work." I asked that guy.
"Yeah. My work place is not far away. It's okay, I can manage. " He said.
"Where did you get the bike?" he asked.
"Oh, I bought it from a student. He probably became a bike dealer. Everyone buy old, used bike from him."
"Really? How much would it cost?" He became curious.
"If I get it from a newspaper ad, probably $70 - $100."
"But I got it $50. A good deal gurl*?"
I was happy: the job was almost done ("gurl" is a southern German slang, a conversational confirmation request)
"What a deal!" He exclaimed.

With a final stroke, I filed through the last string of that darn lock. Done!
"And, the bike IS yours, right?" He asked suddenly.
I was surprised: I didn't expected that question. I stopped my hand's work, stared at him, perplexed.
Suddenly, I burst into a big laughter.
And a second later, he too.

"Guten Morgen J.!" A colleague of mine just walked by.
He was in a different group. I know him briefly.
"What made you guys so happy?" seemingly he was puzzle by our sudden guffaw, in such a gloomy rainy morning.
I thanked my nice helper again, and began to pick up my tools. He seemed to be happy also.
What a nice guy.




2006-03-15 记忆中的美女

Since after WWII, there were big army bases in Germany, a lot of the Americans I saw that time, were somehow related to them.
That black couple we saw, were probably from there too.

Our institute office in Karlsruhe was on the ground floor of a big building, the upper part was for apartment; the lower part for business. Out of our glass wall-window, we, my colleague and friend Markus and I, could see an exit of the underground garage used by the residents.
One morning, as I was chatting with Markus over a cup of coffee, we saw a big, big black lady waiting outside of that garage exit, probably for her husband to drive their car out.
"Wow! look at that!" M called out to me.
I was amazed at the sight: she was really huge, I mean not very tall, but huge.
"I bet she could let her two hands meet only above, but not in front of her chest." I said.
M began to call our colleages in other rooms.
"hey Arnold and ..., look out side of your window!"
Our windows were a little colored, so we were sure that we could remain uninvolved spectators.
They got a big Mercedes caravan (called combo in Germany). The husband was a slim guy, in his 30's. He stopped the car besides his big wife. We saw the wife getting into the car.
"She hardly got space left in front of her!"
When we saw the car drving away, it was heavily sinked down on its right side.

This became our norming wake-up spectacle and topic for a while.

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火车里很挤。
一个美少妇和两个男人站的很近, 几乎是面对面：一个德国男人; 一个法国男人。
一声长鸣后，火车进入一个长长的山洞。

就在这黑暗的半分钟里，就听见一声亲吻的声音, 接着是一身响亮的大耳刮子声.
火车很快出了山洞. 三个人又可以清楚地看到彼此了.



这时三个人的心里在想:
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德国人: ！？！？（脸上渐渐肿起，但心里不免自豪。。）
法国人: 哈哈哈，打倒法西斯！
少妇: ！！？？唉！
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回家之后。。。 -
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在巴黎的一家小酒馆里，突然爆出一阵大笑。 一个爱国奋青，提议大家来唱“马赛曲”。。。
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德国人的妻子：“你是不是对我说谎？” 但想来夫君一向忠厚。。。
想一想，"我因该自豪才是..."
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少妇回到家, 大哭一场:"人心不古!"
儿子问其原因.妈妈:"...."
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N-年后, 儿子获"奥斯卡"最佳导演奖....
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那黑暗的半分钟里,发生了什么?
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机不可失, 那法国人 响亮地亲了自己的左手手背后,抡圆了右臂...

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从西门庆，到 Baudrillard, 到 老子
--- 回第三兄。 2006-03-11 10:27:49


第三兄's msg 西门庆...
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多谢第三兄的索引，大致浏览了一下Baudrillard 的 [Simulacra and Simulations]。觉得很深刻。我不大懂Allegory和simulacra.还要反复读几次才行。
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道可道，非常道。名可名，非常名。
无名天地之始；有名万物之母。



我们主观地, 根据我们的使用目的, 来肯定我们周围世界的存在.
而名字, 其实都是一些符号, 用以引征.而其存在的本质, 实是无可名状.



正所谓, 无名天地之始；有名万物之母。 任何命名, 其实质, 是一种抽象.

什么是具体?什么是抽象?

故常无，欲以观其妙；
常有，欲以观其徼。
此两者，同出而异名，同称之玄。
玄之又玄，众妙之门

在我们的眼里, "常有，欲以观其徼" --- 得多了一点儿,
"故常无，欲以观其妙" --- 地少了一点儿.

所以, 当我们面对"无"的时候, 就难免感到不知所措. 在我们的周围的世界里, 大部分的存在形式, 只是不同层次上的符号而已. 而这些符号, 则大部分是我们自己, 人为的臆造出来. 我们常常地被符号所淹没. 所以我们需要, 或者说, 偶尔需要, 以 "无" 的角度去看我们周围的世界: "欲以观其妙" 耳.

"世界只有一个眼皮那么大, 闭上它, 世界就消失了." 这也不乏其理.

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由西门庆之死想到的 2006-03-10 06:49:10
对不起，本来是一个很严肃的事儿，但还是想冠之以轻佻
---Marketing skill: sex sells
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一念之差

曾经提到 [金瓶梅] 里西门庆之死[1]。
不少中外人士，认为他的死，是很值得崇尚的。

我想，如果他真的还有男性的后裔在此世上的话，或许那人也会窃以为自豪的。
但是，如果有人说，西门庆其实是被恶女人（们）强奸致死，也不为错。
但那后裔人士，就会觉得脸上无光而极力反驳的。

为什么？
我想，西门庆死前的瞬间，大概没有时间，或诗情雅趣，去考虑那么多吧： 死了就是死了。

两天前，看到这摊上消息，一个女学生，因为和男友做爱的录像被曝光，羞耻无限而自杀。

我想，这是如果被西方的某一Porn-star 经历了，可能会由此而名冠天下：喜不自胜啊！

这世上，有客观的存在么？

好，你说：我的鼻子就是漂亮，这是客观存在！
那你不妨就耐心地，虚怀若谷地，在镜子里仔细地把你的鼻子， 看上它15分钟。。。
你有可能就开始怀疑：这是个什么…..肉蛋蛋..…啊！

记得我出于好奇，曾把“哭笑”二字拿来给一个不懂中文的朋友看：他还是能辨出哪个是哪个。
是客观吗？我想其原因是，他虽然不懂中文，但他是个人，知道哭笑的意义。

如果把一个比较中性的…..字母 ”b”, for example, 拿来放大镜下，仔细地看上它15分钟
……” some ink leakage --- straight trace meets a half circle…..”

你能说那字母 “b” 不“客观”存在吗？”
reality is actually our own creation”. 这句话，很有嚼头。


一字之差

设想有一只猴子，向另一只猴子“澳”地叫了一声。
另一只猴子，就带回了以大帮猴子，把那个叫“澳”的猴子打死了。

你可以说：“这是什么世道！”
但那杀猴子的猴子说：“他无缘无故地侮辱了我！”
“你不理解，是因为你不懂我们猴文中‘澳’的意义！”

少年时，一次看到爸爸和他的好友们（都算是知识分子吧）大笑不止。
后来知道他们为什么发笑：看到了一个店门前的牌子被人涂改：
“今日腚（定）休”！
后来, 他们又是一场大笑：还可以再加一字：
“今日腚休日”! 哈哈哈哈哈哈。。。。
当时我很不以为然: 这太粗俗了!

但现在想来:一字也, 一笑也. 何谓粗细? 未伤他人, 则谓之文雅.
自得其乐又何妨? 说话的人当然要为自己的言行负责。
但是能够‘受害’，也说明一些自身的问题。

即使是反思自己现在, 还是有时候为别人的”伤人”之语而心里不快.短炼啊!欠修行!

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冬天好冷。

人们想出不同的方法御寒：有人皮糙肉厚，不必多穿也无妨；有人天性怕冷，要穿很多衣服才行。有人喜欢呆在家里—沉醉在家庭的温暖之中；有人好动，即使多穿几件衣服也要出门看看：一是喜欢自然的美；二是喜欢和他人交流。

大家各得其乐。
但是大家还是有很多共同之处的：一是人总是要有个温暖的家可归；二是人总是要出门与他人交往，或猎奇。家家都要住房子。有人喜欢独门独院，有人喜欢与他人共享一个屋顶。
不管是独立的房子，还是住在一块儿的公寓，房子质量，各有不同。 有的房子，或大公寓，已有千年多的历史了，还能给很多人提供温暖；有的房子是新型设计，十分漂亮实用。
但有一点，人们还是有其共性：大家都喜欢串门交友，交谈, 设计创新。

话题则常常是有关各家的房子，和各家的家规。 不管是出于礼貌或是真心，大部分人都喜欢赞赏，学习他人的房屋设计：
“哎，你们是怎么改成这么漂亮的房子的？”
“奥，你们家的也很好啊！“
大家乐此不疲。每天高高兴兴。

一个很宏伟的大大的公寓，已有1700年的历史了，依然结实而温暖。

很多人都喜欢到那儿观赏。那里的大部分居民也都很友善。 他们对人们常说：“常来串门啊! 原和你们共享温暖啊！“
人们对这么好的友情，心里是很感动的。

但是，世上难有十全十美之事。那大大的，宏伟的公寓里住的人们中，也有一小帮人，心底比较狭窄。喜欢吹一些极端的牛：
“ 你们可知道，我们的大大的，宏伟的房子，是谁建造的吗？”
“不是在1700年前, 一位裸马的慌帝, 支使人建的吗?” 一位来自山东的历史学家说.
“ 那你可就大错而特错了.” 那位趾高气昂的人说.
“我们这幢房子, 乃是天神所建! 那天神还不光建了这座房子, 连你们的老祖宗们, 也都是那位天神所造!”
“奥奥,” 大部分人, 出于礼貌, 点头离去.
但心中不免好笑: ”哪儿来了这么个无知狂徒!”
但又一想来, 哪家都有个不懂事的小子, 不必在意.

那宏伟的公寓中, 新进来了一帮远客.

他们住了一段时间后，被那宏伟的房子的善良的主人收留下来：
“这儿就是你们的家。不必见外！”
那些远客，个个心中十分感激。在那些远客中，有不少人，当初，他们在自己的家里，受尽虐待：吃穿不济还不说，他们的暴君家长，还不让他们有说一句话的权利.
“一切都要听从我的一元化领导!” 暴君家长的话, 他们至今记忆犹新.
为了禁锢他们思想和行动, 暴君家长那时还发给他们每人一本小红书. 每天朗诵:
“我主英明! 我主伟大! 我主正确! 我主万寿无疆!” 他们早请示, 晚汇报, 苦不可言.

而且, 暴君家长不时有指鹿为马之行, 但大家为能保命, 也都是唯唯诺诺.

新到一地儿，举目无亲，更觉得这儿的冷风格外刺骨。那些远客们不免冷得彻骨铭心。
他们太需要一个避寒之处了。现在，能在如此宏伟的公寓中得以栖身，内心自然感激不尽。
“如今, 这位善心的搂主, 把我等收留, 自当报之!” 远客中很多人这么想.

话说那宏伟的房子中的狂小子, 看到这么多心人来到, 心想，我每每被人奚落，虽然嘴上未曾落下风，但心中还是有点而不实。何不拉帮壮胆？
于是，他以主人之态出现于众客面前，大布其道。
众远客开始时出于敬仰，洗耳恭听。

时间一长，似有亲切之感：这闭心而聆听，赞主之伟大，似有心习呀! 而且, 不时翻阅小本本而诵读之行，又似有本家之能。共鸣.
“似有神助！” 一人呼道。
“衷心有报！” 另一人道.
“我等原本系忠臣, 只不过以前未遇明主耳!”

于是, 狂小子们人数大增, 四处以布道为乐.

“你们众愚可知, 我家天神, 不但施法术, 造就我们家的宏伟大厦, 而且, 这城里的所有房屋, 以至众生, 皆他所造!”
“不止如此, “ 另一狂子道, “ 这宇宙之巅, 都出自他手!”
“ 你们都应该回家吧你们的房子拆了, 都来我们的宏伟大厦!”
“你们不该出门猎奇, 讨论感受, 只要读好这个小本本, 福音绕梁!”
“….！！！！！！！！！！！”

但, 新的房子,还是在此城里, 越建越多, 式样款式, 层出不穷. 大家每天还是忙于讨论, 创新立异… 只是渐渐地忘了那一小帮无知狂小子, 虽然他们还是那么忙…

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2006-03-02 看 凡尔赛 和-沁芳桥的postings 有感

It's a life's dilemma.
If you are not struggling with the basic material needs for life, then you feel lost with the idea: what should I do the next, what the heck the the sense?
And when I think about spirituality, I used to have the association of religion. I hate the bigotry of the fanatic priesting Christians or what so ever. But there are more than just the religious fanatism in Western culture. Luckily.

凡尔赛 's post reminds me of a book I once read and liked very much:[ The Celestine Prophecy ] by James Redfield, NY Times best seller for serval years. it is a "pseudo"-religious fucation. It tries to answer this question with a fictive story of questing for a archeological new found of an old religious manu. Through the story, it reveals the 9 levels of human mind, of communication.
Communication and powerstruggle with self;
with other individual;
with institution;
with... I may want to list them here, as a summery, also for me not to forget.

I think it is a great book to understand human's quest for meaning of life. I actually recommended this book, even bought it for a coupe of my friends to read. But to my chagrin, I figured out, they did not read it. I guess it was the langauge barrier.
I once thought I could translate it into Chinese, but my Chinese typing is so slumsy, I did half a chapter and then gave up. I would need a helper to type in my hand writing. Maybe later, I am not that rich yet. if one day I do find a means, I would.
But one thing for sure, I do think reading more the western book about the very basic human spirital needs (they don't just have religion bigotry in minds), the more I see all human are very alike, Chinese or Eskimo, cowboys or noble (wo)men.

As I am a Chinese (actually I am a Manchurian Chinese), I do think there are a lot od treasures of thoughts to be found in Western (if not even more than I had from Chinese Universities) in domains of philosophies; the same way Werstener increasingly find treasures in Oriental Taoism, Budhhism and Zen.

It is, in a good sense, making an intereting life-prospect: "there are something to explore!"
I think, what ever the quest, an urge for explore can very well keep the spirit young and vigorous; be it a new pursuit in spirital, or material. Or even a new love.

Here are the nine "Insights", the main threads of that book from James Redfield (you can google "James Redfield" and find all the discussion groups and so on)Maybe it can be interesting for some one here?

I am not priesting for anything, Just want to show my resonance as a questing spirit; and my 2 cents.

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Feeling restless? You're not alone: Everybody's starting to look for more meaning in life. Start paying closer attention to those seemingly "Chance Coincidences" - strange occurrences that feel like they were meant to happen. They are actually synchronistic events, and following them will start you on your path to spiritual truth.

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Observe our culture within its proper historical context. The first half of the past millennium was spent under the thumb of the church; in the second half we became preoccupied with material comfort. Now, at the end of the twentieth century, we've exhausted that preoccupation. We're ready to discover life's ultimate purpose.

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Start to get acquainted with the subtle energy that infuses all things. With practice, you can learn to see the aura around any living being and to project your own energy around it to give it strength.

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An unconscious competition for energy underlies all conflicts. By dominating or manipulating others, we get the extra energy we think we need. Sure, it feels good - but both parties are damaged in the conflict.

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The key to overcoming conflict in the world is the mystical experience, which is available to everyone. To nurture the mystical and build your energy, allow yourself to be filled with a sense of love.

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Childhood traumas block our ability to fully experience the mystical. All humans, because of their upbringing, tend toward one of four control dramas:* Intimidators steal energy from others by threat.* Interrogators steal it by judging and questioning.* Aloof people attract attention (and energy) to themselves by playing coy.* Poor me's make us feel guilty and responsible for them.Become aware of the family dynamics that created your control drama and you can focus on your essential question, which is how to make of your life a higher- level synthesis of your parents' lives.

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Once cleared of traumas, you can build energy through contemplation and meditation, focus on you basic life question, and start riding a steady stream of intuitions, dreams, and synchronistic coincidences, all guiding you in the direction of your own evolution and transformation.

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That evolution can't be done alone, so begin to practice the new "Interpersonal Ethic" by uplifting those who cross your path. Talk to people who make spontaneous eye contact with you. Avoid co-dependent relationships. Be there for people. Call attention to other people's control dramas. In groups, speak when the spirit (instead of the ego) moves you.

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Our purpose here is to evolve beyond this plane. Fewer people (a result of reproductive abstinence) and more old-growth forests will help us to sustain our energy and accelerate our evolution. Technology will do most of our work for us. As we begin to value spiritual insight more and more, we will pay those who bring it to us, and this will eventually replace the market economy and our need for paid employment. We can connect to God's energy in such a way that we will eventually become beings of light, and walk straight into heaven.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 对自强的另一种理解 2006-02-28 10:10:58 能在他人身上发现长处，而且不迟疑地流露赞赏，是自强。 如果这人是众人认为的弱者，而你还能发现他的值得赞赏指出，那你就更强了。 总能在他人身上发现不好而贬之，则说明你内心的软弱。 不顾众意而能容异己者，强！寻疵而贬，拉人入帮来壮胆的，弱。 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
英语发音常犯的错误 （个人愚见，供大家探讨,补充） 2006-02-19 04:48:26
我所亲身经历的，和听到看到的：中国人英语发音常犯的错误。列出来供大家探讨,补充. =================================================================
1。字母 C
例: I see. 误: 艾细
正: 艾斯意
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2. 字母 J.
例: job.
误: 教伯.
正: (更像) 肇伯例
2: enjoy.
误: 因交诶
正: 因找诶
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3. TheThe 字 的根源是德语中Die/Der , 发 "的" 虽也不对,但比发 "责" 要好些
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4. 拉声稍长一点:例: understand误: und(er)stadn -- 安德斯丹的 ("德"太短).
不妨: 安德而斯丹的

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某老中常去一小酒馆。
每次坐下后，总把随身带来的小箱打开，大家都看吃惊得瞪大了双眼：一个十二寸的小钢琴家（Pianist）健步走出，向大家致意后，在打开了的小箱中的小钢琴前坐下，开始演奏。
大家于是问此老中，
“何处得此异物？”
老中则长叹一声:
“欲射一鹿，误中一獐”。 听我慢慢道来：
那天偶遇吉尼，他突发慈念，许我一愿。
我突发奇想，想要一个十二寸长的。。
发音不好啊!
这不,Penis 成了 Pianist!

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为何值得自豪？ 2006-02-18 04:41:09 "I am so proud of being a Chinese!"I saw this on a internet discussion board. It did not surprise me at all. This kind of statement is far often seen. If change its last word to any country's name, it can be found virtually everywhere. To tell the truth, I, myself, used to think, or even have talked that way.As a human being, we carry so many labels on us. Which one is the most important? Being a ---?This sequence is bound to change, through out one's life, one's understanding of his/her experienced life. Maybe something could be extracted as a commonly accepted row?I may try first on my thought about it. 1. as a human; 2. as a man 3. as a questing explorer 4. as a father 5. as a friend... n. as a Chinese... m. as ... I already see problems here: what is the definition of...? Almost impossible to clearify. What is a man? For instance? The word man exists in contrast of woman (in Chinese or Germany semantics), or in English, it means mankind. So,2a. As a non-woman; and2b. as a non-animalIt become more philosophical.. I may do the going through in other context. One thing I can say, as I listened to the statement "proud of being Chinese" is,this is, as for me, not one of the top 5 positions. Of that, I am proud of being a questing explorer of our small world; And this pride, is definitively before that of "Being Chinese". @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
看了 电影“Munich"。。。 2006-02-18 07:52:07
讲的是以色列人的暗杀小组的故事。
也是感到十分震撼：为了私仇而杀人，可能内心容易接受，但为了一个“主义”或其他的非私人的目的，就感到对这种残忍和血腥的发自内心的彷徨和不安。
当事人又何不如此啊。到头来还不是：对外，杀了无辜，对内，杀了自己的良心。 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

我的一德国好友读“金瓶梅”后的感想。 2006-02-15 14:26:40

Nic 是我的一个可以无话不谈的好友。
一天，我们谈到死：他跟我说起他认为最美的死法，居然是从读“金瓶梅”后得来（我原本不知，这本书还是翻译成多种语言的）：
“那个。。人(它既不起名字了).. 他的死是我的最高愿望了:(他向我复述他记忆犹新的段落):
He was half sleeping, and she played flute on him (我朋友感慨道:中国人的语言真是丰富啊! -- Flute)...then, he became excited and the flute...then she sat onto it and...play some more. The juice came, more juice....then suddenly came blood, more blood.... And, he died.
听得我哈哈大笑.

我告诉他:那人名叫西门庆.

他的后裔之一,后来来到德国,开办了一家公司,名叫......
哈哈,我那朋友笑道,"看来, 我在这儿工作,实在是缘分啊!"

好长时间,我对祖国文化,太自豪了..

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一个老海（不）归男人的看法。 2006-02-14 06:23:24 1.If this is a real case, I would say smething about him and about you.him: He is a communicative person. From his writing, he is humble minded,maybe the reason for that is that he is, or had been brock, like onecommentator said. Which does not necesarrily meaning bad: See if he isstill a capable man, if he is, the temporary down can only make himfirmer afer he gets up again. And in that case, if you (the potentialpartner) can help him getting up again, you tow would have a nice pieceof life experience together -- meaning a valuable bond (a loving one).I see this as a good chance (if he is a good person), for you to win alife long soulmate. But, if what you are chasing is a "already made bed",then you don't deserve this kind of life experience.2.The fact of letting this meant-to-be-personal text of this man to bepublic, or discuss it too much with your friends, it somehow smells thatyou are a kind of philistine person, with not much self confidence.Even he would not mind this text to be published (is his purpose anyway),but, if you are seriously consider him, it IS a very personal thing. Andif fr such a personal thing, you have the need to "gossip" it around, thenyou are intellectually not a strong person. And therefore, maybe not deservehim.3. About one female commentator's view, that the guy may even don't want tocommit much $$$ when dealing with dating, errant daily thing. For that, I wouldsay, if he is $$-wise stronger than you and he is wanting you, it would behe intention; but if you two are $$-wise equally strong or you are even strongerit is not a shame to let female pay the bill. Where is the "male-female-equalness"?Well, I would say, if you don't want it be equal, then you would have it un-equal.In case case, please don't complain about "men are too controllingly unfair...".These days, $$ is not earned by muscle as much as 100 years ago. So women gotalmost the equal chance to get $$. That's the good part of our society. Isn't it?But, my dear female friends, throw away that self-lowering attitude and BEequal minded. Tradition does have its root and should largely respected. Butthe trend should be recognized and followed, to be better off in lives.My 2 cents.4.A person that garrulous is at leat humble. But one thing for sure, he is willingto show himself inside out. You, his potential female partner, may not like it.That the female's feeling I can't comment much but to repsect. At least he showedhis garrulousness. If you dn't like it then let him go. If you don't mind to havesomeone talking all the time and nerves you? think about it, it's a personal thing. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
中国男女对性的误解。 2006-02-11 06:47:36

Chinese men think if they have sex with a non-Chinese, he should be proud;
if a Chinese girl have sex with non-Chinese: it is a shame.

Chinese women have a weird attitude:
if they have sex with you, they think you have taken advantage of them.

To let men/women be equal, sex is reciprocal, if both want it, both should appreciate it. Who's advantage?

Chinese men's mis-conception: sex means ownership and slavery
Chinese women's mis-conception: I pay with sex, pay me back!

Both of these are poisonious for a relationship.

Only equal respect and enjoyment can lead to bliss.

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