I need = I want
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain （看过Jamie Foxx主演的电影Breakin’ All the Rules（2004）的人，一定知道 We need to talk = Break up）
Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I have a severe case of PMS （PMS＝Premenstrual Syndrome）
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper...
I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep (Attention, attention & attention!!!)
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really going to hate
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. （这意味着一个小时或更久都可能，所以当你听到这句话时，千万别急）
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful （butt ＝bum ＝ass）
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
I was wrong = Not as wrong as you
Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep
I'm not yelling! = Of course I'm yelling, this is important!
What a man says, what he really means...
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm tired = I'm tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Would you like to dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage! （指胸间）
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psycho trauma are you going through now?
You look upset = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
Yes, I love your new hairstyle = I liked it better before
Yes, your haircut looks good = $50 and it doesn't even look different!
I like the first dress you tried on better = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go!
这也是一个笑话（我们在必要的地方做了注解，让你笑的声音能更大些）。
对西方语言学有研究的朋友一定知道，任何文字都有两层的意思，一个是denotation，另外一个是connotation。Denotation指的是字面上的意思，而connotation则说的是隐含的意义，通常才是人真正想表达的意思。Denotation和Connotation有时候表达的意思是完全相同的，有时候两者之间有相当的反差。此时你如果只听懂了denotation，往往对语言只领会了其中一部分，甚至可能是很小的一部分而已，因此这样很容易产生误解或误会。这个笑话其实就是一个好的例子。
虽然是个笑话，不可否认，其中对connotation的解释和现实生活中的男女的实际想法，有相当一部分是非常吻合的。男女之间的对话，有往往带有很强的connotation。不管是男人或女人，如果是赤裸裸地完全说出来自己心中的话，难免会让自己难堪或伤了彼此的和气，最后搞的不是不欢而散，就是大吵一架。即便男人和女人讲同样的一句话，各自想表达的意思也可能大不相同。如果你依然不懂这一点，不管你的条件再好，在感情上受挫的机会还是非常大。
要真正解决这个问题，最重要的是要学会聆听，做一个好的listener，用心去沟通，当然不是像笑话里面说的那样（见斜线文字）。
So until next time，你知道了，其实男人也是比较含蓄的动物。
