约柜的故事-事情的经过是这样滴

犹太人内部有两派(任何人类社会都是这样,上帝的选民更是如此),一派是约柜派代表人物是耶和华的祭司,另一派当然就一定是拜邪灵的。这如同今天的拜耶稣的耶派,和拜邪灵的敌耶派。其实耶派和敌耶派是角色互换的,因为两派都自称是耶派,对方是敌耶派。如同文革时的造反派动刀动枪斗得你死我活,却都说自己是毛派,别人是敌毛派。

话说这约柜的事,经书上没有说的历史是这样的:柜系本来没有柜,对立的牛系却有明星小牛。柜系当然人气不旺,几个祭司一合计,决定搞个偶像聚众。刚好,小木匠耶叔和Black Smith,Golden Smith一帮人要到埃及考察金字塔路过犹太地,柜系的人就出钱让耶师傅带领Black师傅,Golden师傅给做个东西。

耶叔想一想,说:我是木匠,给你们做个椅子如何?
祭司: 什么是椅子?
耶叔: 座着休息用的, 耶和华可以在那里休息。
祭司: 别人能否看到耶和华坐在椅子上?
耶叔: 当然大家能一眼看到耶和华坐在椅子上。如果不想让人看到,最好是个房子。
祭司: 什么是房子?我们是游牧民族,能否抬着房子四处流浪?
耶叔: 房子是重了点,你们抬着四处游荡不方便。改成柜子如何?
祭司: 柜子好,说耶和华在里面休息没有人敢开门偷看,否则耶哥一发怒,后果很严重。到底耶哥在不在,就没人敢探究。
耶叔: 好,就柜子了。

祭司带头和众人捐了些金银珠宝,央求三位师傅用在柜子上。三位私下里商量,犹太人是不知道阿基米德浮力定律的,完全可以把金银换成铜锡,反正他们看不出来。即使有怀疑,晾他们没有胆子碰柜子。碰了柜子的乌撒不是就死得很难看吗?于是乎,三位师傅就动手做柜子,其间不可避免地下手搞走了些金银。

柜子做成了,三位师傅拿了工资和贪污的金银珠宝,高高兴兴地去了埃及。反正犹太人不敢动柜子,更不敢到埃及追缴他们。

柜是偷工减料的,犹太人没有发觉,耶和华也是住进去后才发现。但耶和华已经不可能到埃及追杀耶叔他们了,于是就把气撒到无知的犹太人身上。余下的就是Bible故事了。

周末愉快
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