a few words on family career conflicts

not to rub salts into injury, but if you really look at it, often one common thread for such painful situations is that they didn't do family planning for early stages,

if there was an early set of common objectives for the marriage and the family life together, more often than not both sides will work towards mostly the same direction, and if even one deviates, it's easy to detect and rectify.

when there is no, and the couple takes a "wait and see" attitude, often the situations only make the two drift apart gradually. In truth life events, and careers, are all very much path dependent. Your future will be more and more dependent on your past as you gradually age. To try to find a common solution, when the two are already separate in its own paths, is at least extremely hard, painful, and often one side has to circle around between the two extreme case of giving up career or giving up family.

so, for those who have yet to have a life together, remember planning together as early as possible, and work towards the common objectives,

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for those that it's kind of a little late visiting this topic, the solution actually is the same: discuss together what's your common priorities, what each side can live with and without, and the procedures to achieve the common set. If live is such that a separation has to be the choice, then pick up the pieces, move on, and try not to fall into the same trap next time.