男人女人和婚姻好像是一个永无休止的话题。有研究说，对象的选择对婚姻成功与否有百分之五十的决定权。我也同意爱情和婚姻是两码事。婚姻更多地基于实质性匹配（ fit ）。爱情其实是基于自身的一种有意无意的决定。这决定基于对自身和对象的感性估价和匹配。而问题就出在这感性与实质性的距离。年轻少不更事时，这距离就大些。当对自身比较了解后，这距离就小些。可大部份人，在对自己还没有很好了解的年代，就已经步入婚姻。接下来的日子，就象进了赌场。
有人说男人不喜欢太聪明的女人。我觉得这聪明与否是相对的。或许应该说 “ 男人不愿意接受比自己聪明的女人 ” 。喜欢和 enjoy 还是有的了。不过在现代社会，想找一个与自己智力有明显距离的女人的男人也真不多， 尤其在西方社会（除了只想玩玩的人）。从女人方面来说，找一个不如你的男人，你得小心照顾他的 ego, 活在他的局限里，这也不是一件舒心的事。 Like in partner dance, in order to keep image and stay together, the woman can only dance the steps the man can lead her to. 总之，在两性关系中，只有男人活得自信象男人，女人才能更象女人。反之亦然。正确的对比度是需要的。两人合适与否是相互的。人就像个多棱体，两人吻合的面越多，彼此滚动的时候磕碰摩擦就越少。
回复姜太公钓鱼的评论:
I agree with you that there are many types of smartness between "book smart" and "street smart". In general it may related to brain acting and responding fastness, in a sensitive way with good knowledge and common sense. 装傻 may be a tactical way dealing with certain situation, but if someone has to 装傻 all the time and can't reveal true self, I believe it's not in a comfortable situation.
I think 男女的角色 are more defined by biology and nature instead of 社会和他人. The 定义 from 社会和他人 more tends to follow the nature. As for each individual, we should chose the way of life that fits us the best. The way fits one better, not necessarily fits another. The way of life closer to one's nature the more comfortable he/she will be. No one solution fits all. Similarly, 结婚being a good or bad thing depends on who with who, dosen't it?
