3/18 星期日

这个冬天突然变得很漫长, 已经是3月中旬, 仍旧冷, 我的耐心已耗尽, 无可奈何的郁闷. 上一周只有一天准时到公司, 基本都是下午到, 很晚走, 我决定把装病进行到底. LEADER问我是不是身体不舒服, 我说是的, 我很郁闷, 需要每天看医生, 抑郁症是最好的借口, 我可以活蹦乱跳的同时病入膏肓. 其实, 我觉得自己真正的问题是A.D.D.,  Attention Deficit Disorder, 这个正好解释了为什么我不能集中考虑比较认真的问题超过5分钟, 且不喜欢COMMIT, 因为A.D.D.!!!

我和UNCLE GEORGE又发生争执. 他对我和MARIO的关系觉得困惑, 认为我们要么totally physical relationship like f buddies, or into a real relationship, 我觉得存在即是合理. Mario said he can cook really good italian food, and can make cheesecakes, WOW, that is quite something, especially for a cheesecake lover like me. Then George thought I should push a little more on this, try to join Mario's life cycle...I was like, "WHY???" Well, I would rather to set him free, if its love, he comes back to me, if its not, then why the hell I want it? Anyway, that is not the main point I argued with George, I said something really harsh to him, its cos the day before he told me how great to be in a marriage for women, how happy his wife with the marriage...blah blah... then the very next day, he just slept with somebody else, thats called cheating! I was like "what the fuck you doing? you told me all bullshit abt marriage, now look at you, you are such an asshole to cheat on ur wife!" George said, "say that when u are in a marriage!" Thats really ridiculous, cos he in a marriage, that means he can cheat??? If you cant keep the commitment, then dont get married! Well, anyway, its none of my business, I just feel bad for his wife, maybe like what George said, --dumb is a gift.

周五晚上, 本来打算加班, DAVID说一起喝杯咖啡, 他接下来有约, 我正好回来继续加班. 结果, 我们的一杯咖啡喝了3个多小时, 我的加班计划彻底泡汤. 当然不只是咖啡, 我们一起吃了晚饭, ROTI的HAMBURGER, almost the best hamburger in Tokyo, I have been to ROTI a couple times, but never tried the swordfish hamburger, David said its really good, well, he is totally right. I dont know why, recently I am kinda addicted to hamburgers. We had hamburgers and wine, then went to TGI Friday, just cos Friday's drinks had cherry with stem, we wanna give a try to that tongue magic so much, and it turned out that we both failed, I think the stems are not long enough, that is why, LOL. We stayed together for the whole Saturday, watched a couple of movies, and Russell Peters video, which is hilarious. Late afternoon lunch, and talk, its very relaxing to talk with David, we probably could talk about everything, no taboo at all, that is so cool. 我觉得我和DAVID讲的话大概比我和MARIO过去6个月讲的话的总和还要多, I even know that David has an aunt who loves casino. It seems this kinda talking thing becomes therapy for both of us, relieving us from all stress from wherever or whoever.

我和DAVID是同一类人, curious, open to try anything, most time confused, laid back, wanna become idealist but lack of courage, lack of discipline, not organized at all, love good food, drinks, clubs, and city life. 很多时候, 我都觉得我们两个好象两只性格相近的流浪猫, 突然相遇, 然后惺惺相惜, 超越男女之情, 很奇妙的感觉. We almost have the same types of problems in life, maybe in different scales, but I totally understand his situation, so does he, its amazing. Think about Mario, I like him maybe because he has something I dont have, well, I didnt mean his dick, apparently I dont have that, I mean his life style, his being disciplined and organized, he can get up at 6am to work everyday, WOW, that just sounds so cool to me. If a company wants me to get up at 6am everyday, they better pay really good. Anyway, Mario is in military, military life is all about discipline. I am confused again, not very sure what I really like about Mario, or its just purchasing something that I didnt get yet? Tough question...then leave it alone, that is what ADD people do.

I gonna be more disciplined next week, or before I find the next job, this company might have fired me, that sucks.