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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?


Female customer: A white one...

===============

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can\'t get my diskette out.

Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it\'s really stuck.


Tech support: That doesn\'t sound good; I\'ll make a note.

Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn\'t inserted it yet... it\'s

still

on my desk... Sorry....

===============


Tech support: Click on the \'my computer\' icon on to the left of the

screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

===============

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?


Male customer: Hello... I can\'t print.

Tech support: Would you click on start for me and...

Customer: Listen pal; don\'t start getting technical on me! I \'m not

Bill Gates.

===============


Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can\'t print. Every

time I try, it says \'Can\'t find printer\'. I\'ve even lifted the printer

and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he

can\'t find it...

===============


Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

===============

Tech support: What\'s on your monitor now, ma\'am?


Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

===============

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it\'s plugged into the computer?

Customer: No.. I can\'t get behind the computer.


Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer:! OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there


another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there\'s another one here. Ah...that one does work..

===============

Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a

capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.


Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?

===============

Customer: I can\'t get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I\'m sure. I saw my colleague do it.


Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.

===============

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.


Tech support: That\'s not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

===============

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver

on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.


===============

Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I\'m writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter \'a\' in the address, but how do I get


the circle around it?

===============

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her

printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?


Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.

The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his

printer is working fine.

===============

And last but not least...


Tech support: Okay Bob, let\'s press the control and escape keys at

the

same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now

type the letter P to bring up the Program Manager.

Customer: I don\'t have a P.


Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: P.....on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: I\'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

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