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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can\'t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it\'s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn\'t sound good; I\'ll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn\'t inserted it yet... it\'s
still
on my desk... Sorry....
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Tech support: Click on the \'my computer\' icon on to the left of the
screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can\'t print.
Tech support: Would you click on start for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don\'t start getting technical on me! I \'m not
Bill Gates.
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can\'t print. Every
time I try, it says \'Can\'t find printer\'. I\'ve even lifted the printer
and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he
can\'t find it...
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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
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Tech support: What\'s on your monitor now, ma\'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it\'s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No.. I can\'t get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there\'s another one here. Ah...that one does work..
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a
capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
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Customer: I can\'t get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I\'m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That\'s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver
on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I\'m writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter \'a\' in the address, but how do I get
the circle around it?
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his
printer is working fine.
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And last but not least...
Tech support: Okay Bob, let\'s press the control and escape keys at
the
same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now
type the letter P to bring up the Program Manager.
Customer: I don\'t have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: P.....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I\'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!