更多幽默-2007年的随想

Ponderings for 2007

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
(this is playing on words-pun)

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day;
teach a person to use the Internet and he won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Consider what Willie Nelson said regarding being caught recently with a bag of Marijuana: "It's a good thing I had a bag of Marijuana instead of a bag of spinach.
I'd be dead by now."
(This refers to the time that spinich made people sick several month ago, and Willie Nelson, a famous singer and very old, was caught possessing weeds at an airpot, I think.)

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars,
and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
(Acid is type a drug in 60's, it causes hullucination)

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT TO PONDER IN 2007:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.