(131) (old)
He impatiently moved.
He shouted at me, Mei Ling,
“Go back to the basement.
Please don’t touch anything!”
(131) (new)
He loudly shouted at me.
His voice quivered in the air.
“Don’t touchanything, little girl!
Go back to the basement. Stay there!”
对anything和Ling来压韵进行了修改。我喜欢修改后的第二句。
(137) (old)
It took a long, long time
For a car to pass by.
It took even longer
For a person to walk by.
(137) (new)
It took a long time for a car
To pass by in front of me.
I silently counted them,
One… two… three…
我其实挺喜欢pass by和walk by的，但我女儿不同意，说是不能用相同的字。她很喜欢修改后的One… two… three…，她说很cute。
(204) (old)
Then, he made a funny face.
My mom couldn’t help laughing,
“The bellybutton snowwoman
Is the best in the world, Mei Ling.”
(204) (new)
I quickly walked to my dad and
Wildly played with his hair on his head.
“The bellybutton snowwoman is
The best in the world, Mei Ling,” he said.
对laughing和Ling来压韵进行了修改。Mei Ling跑去弄乱爸爸的头发，这样写显得她和爸爸很亲密，她是Daddy’s girl。这句话“The bellybuttonsnowwoman is the best in the world, Mei Ling,”原是妈妈说的，现改给是爸爸说的，更合情理。
(217) (old)
Together, Mom, Dad and I
Entered a tall building.
The building looked very good.
It was very exciting.
(217) (new)
In front of a tall building,
Mom, Dad and I gladly stood.
It was very exciting.
The building lookedvery good.
building 和exciting不完全压韵，进行了修改。
