Just a little more patient and tolerant to myself

Life is like a ball. When you hit it harder, it will bounce higher.
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I found that the biggist obsticle I face for speaking is the anxiety. If I just be a little bit of patient to myself and do not rush, I could do much better. I speak slowly most of the time. I feel a lot of time pressure when I speak, especially when I have some blocks. I tried to have more pauses in my speech no matter I speak fast or slow recently. I found that if I pauses more often and take a deep breath when I pause, the speaking is not very hard. I could be more relaxed and talk freely. I could do this when I am talking to myself. I do not stutter at all if I talk to myself. I can control my speech very well in those case. I will try to do more practices in coordination of my breathing and speaking and make this into a habit of talking. When this new habit of talking becomes a default, I will be able to use it in actual situations.
I feel that I could talk much better in the Toastmaster meetings now. I went to Toastmaster meetings yesterday and today. I gave two table topics. I believe I did quite well. I really can keep my firm and confident tonality. For a person who is speaking, only 7% of the information is conveyed by choosing right words, 38% is relying on voice, tonality, pitch, volume and speed. The rest is contributed by body language. So, if I could stay calm, firm and confident, it could be expressed largely by tonality.
As it has been said that one's worst enemy is himself. My worst enemy for speaking is the impatience and low tolerance for any disfluency. Once I realize this point, I could make the change.

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