今天又犯错误了，回头写检讨。。。
Mean... a mean girl..., I guess that is the topic I want to talk about today. - 刻薄。
In real life, I push very hard on myself, and so to my family members. I didn't really realize it until I wrote down the topic yesterday. Perhaps, when I am being mean to others or friends, not family members, that is the time to have me waken up on the issue.
Nearly everyone in my life will agree that I am a very warm and extremely friendly person they meet. I guess that is the way how I treat people and how I want to be treated by others as well.
In the mean time, I can be very mean in some circumstances. Those times are the times I feel I am hurt or I need to protect myself, or another simple way to show the love.
Being mean can be an expression or a signal on the messages about how much you have been cared or how much you have weighted the relationships. By understanding the reasons behind the scene, it will ease the tensions and easily get you out of the circle to look down the situations in a much higher level.
To give you an example in my personal life: like all other Chinese parents, I sent my children to learn pianos at the age of 4 or 5. At the beginning of first half years, they enjoyed playing very much, later on, they got bored and they can't discipline themselves to practice the pianos regularly. That is starting point for me to be mean or you would say being strict to my own children. I forced them to practice pianos, and I forced them to take piano lessons. Why I did all that to my own children, the only reason I can think of is because I want them to learn pianos and I want them to be good at playing pianos. However, do they enjoy playing? Do they really like to take playing pianos as their hobbies? That is the questions that I didn't ask myself, but instead I was acting so mean to them because I want them to be good. The children are growing older now and they started to ask me if they can take some piano lessons as a leisure time activity to do. There is no any force involved anymore, but appreciation what I can offer to them more.
When it comes to the relationships, it will be the same. When your partner or friends said something mean to you, you’d better not just fight it back right away, but rather to give yourself a moment to ask yourself why she/he said that. What is the reason or cause behind it? Is that because something you did has bothered her/him in a way that you haven’t realized it yet? By taking actions slowly after you really understand the whole situation will save you a lot of hassle in the future for sure.
I don't think I am alone on the issue I am having. As a human being, even any creatures on the planet, we all have our own ways to protect ourselves when we feel we are hurt or being mis-treated. From that point of view, I accept who I am and am able to understand why I have said something very mean to others or why I am not friendly for that moment.
Trust me: it is not easy to accept who we really are, what we can do and what we can’t do.
(Everyone has their own way to define what is “mean”. My way to define the “mean” probably is not a “mean” to you at all. Perhaps, I wasn’t being so mean as often or as bad as others.:) That is something that I should be delighted for, isn’t it?)
