July 09
thinking in the rain
The final formal procedure kicked in, and I visited the same spot again. The clerk stemped all related documents, and my file looked quite thick. For a moment, I had thought it was just kind illusion or I was watching it happening to someone else. It was the last thing I had thought I would have done years ago, but the life was so unpredictable. Well~~~, I could not deny that I chose this way so it ended with such a result.
As usual, I ran across the street to catch the bus. This area belongs to the ghetto in this city, which could be easily figured out by the houses, the way people dress on the bus..... Is it probably one of the reason this spot was picked up to set up the building for this purpose? so that people could get to know what the life could be from all tiny details in the surroudings? LOL~~
I had to wait there for long before the bus came. THe clouds turned dark grey ,started to gather together above in the sky and the sky was dark. I knew the rain was coming, however, there was no place where I could hide. Ok, I remained at the same spot, the rain finally poured down. the wind was strong and it was chilly. I was trembling helplessly in the storm, but that was OK. Sometimes, actually we could not avoid such happenings in our lives through all the journey. It was so cold in heart that you would not feel that cold physically. I was a little bit confused for a moment and got lost of myself. I knew I had to keep it going and it had to be ended sooner or later, but I had lost interest in it or more specifinically did not care it that much. THe strong impulse for carrying it out seemed fading, all the things coming up during the complicated procedure disclosed those parts we could never find out within a person otherwise. Somtimes you just don't get to know someone well until the last moment comes, but fortunately or unfortunately you would never deal with them any more.
Suddenly I felt exhausted, completely exhausted, and the whole body became hollow inside out. We have reasons /excuses for starting to do something, but we never know whether we could get there when the result you want so badly finally reachs. However, there is no way to turn around, once you get on, you have to keep on going until the destination. Sometimes the external power pushs you to do something you always try to avoid, in this way you have to appreciate it no matter whether or not it is still waiting for at the end of the journey.
The bus came at last, I got on and continued with my journey.
It happened on last Friday, I don't have a cold so far, which proves that I am strong.:)
