Google:
Toddler discipline
Book:
The happiest toddler on the block by Harvey Karp
Let her have her choice, pick two clothes, which one do you like? Make the selection first, then ask her opinion, she likes to be in control and that helps her self esteem. If your kid is really strongly opinionated, pick the cloth at the previous night in order to avoid struggle.
Keep in mind that distraction, redirection and reasoning is always better than yelling or spanking.
Give your kid options like: shall we play with this other toy? Would you like to help mommy stack this toy? Acknowledge their feeling by telling them:
I know you are upset, would you tell mommy what's wrong? Give them lots of hug and complements when they did something right. Everybody love encouragement. Good luck.