早晨6点半, 我爬起来, 终于被迫变成morning person. D在网上, 我们聊天. 这个夏天他有business trip去上海, 2周, 要开会, 看工厂, 但是不知道能不能有时间来东京看我. 我很失望, 上海到东京, 不过3个小时的飞机, 哪怕一个周末, 为什么不能来???!!! 不管D说多少遍"miss you", 只有行动才能证明一切, if he really misses me, why cant make the trip to Tokyo? I was so frustrated, it seems only me, making efforts, and that is not what I want. "How this long distance thing could work out? I even couldnt make a normal relationship work, how dumb I thought that I was able to do this kinda high level thing..." 我对D说, 也是对我自己说. 没有结论, 我们不欢而散, 他去睡觉, 我得准备去办公室, 外面在下雨.
我对着镜子化妆, 随手放音乐, 是王菲的歌, --"扑火". " 每一天都有梦在心里头死掉, 我自己对自己大声咆哮, 人太忠于感觉就难好好思考, 我痛的想哭却傻傻的笑..." 啪哒, 一滴眼泪掉下来, 我赶忙拿纸巾小心擦去, 怕弄花了妆. 如果弄花了, 要擦掉, 重新化妆, 这样可能就会迟到, 然后老板又会唠叨... 越是想, 越想哭, 最后, 眼泪象夏天的雷雨, 噼噼啪啪的打在纸巾上. 手忙脚乱的把自己收拾妥当, 站在镜子前, 看镜子里的自己, everything looks fine, but am I really fine? I dont know...
I closed the door, and set myself free.
