迷失在多雨的夏季

我是一只流浪他乡的鹿,在苍茫的北美大地上,依然追寻着我心中的梦。
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不知何故,一场又一场的雨弄湿了整个夏季,难见阳光明媚的夏日风情,满眼里是阴郁的云层,时而轻薄,时而厚重,总是伴随着或粗或细的雨丝。印象中的夏季总是丽日晴空,色彩缤纷,因着我生于烈日炎炎的盛夏,自小对夏天有着独特的钟情,记忆里不管有过怎样忧伤的冬季与清冽的春天,一到夏天,我的心情便会无端的澄明开朗,快乐总是伴随整个夏季,直至多愁的秋天将我拉回沉思。

然而这个夏天,失却了骄阳丽日,连飘逸的云层都变得厚实粗重起来,每天看着窗外飘过一场又一场的雨,渐渐迷失,甚至找不到生活的目标,茫然充斥心间,天天重复着同样的节奏,无声无息地游荡在别人的兴趣昂然里。远处的草地青葱般翠绿,单薄的小黄花在风雨中坚强地飘摇着,不知道怎样的信念令它们对生命充满向往,细小的叶茎上顶着不成比例的四片花瓣,任怎么的风雨也摧不垮它们努力向上昂起的头,我的感动仅是一刹那,迷茫再次光临。该怎样走出这个多愁的夏季?

徘徊在黄昏的小路上,不知是为锻炼还是为着消遣,时而健步如飞时而懒散洋洋,心中竟是空茫一片。手机寂寞了,许久许久沉默不语,思维迟钝了,打开WORD,竟然写不出一个字,心思沉重了,感觉千言万语无从讲起,烂在肚里任其霉变,身材瓷实了,去年的夏装再也装不下今年的臃肿,一切都变得无所谓,不在乎了,连活着的意义都混沌不清,还须在乎什么健美与否。终于懂得了什么才是哀莫大于心死。就象绝望的XXX,已经置生死不顾了,还有什么令他恐惧的?

电视里从故乡传来的热情激越,已经燃不起自己的兴奋,那是属于另半个星球的盛大节日,翘首了几百年而等来的疯狂,好象离自己很遥远,触及不到的幸福原来与己无关。尽管看开幕式时也曾双眼噙泪,激动鼓满心房,那样大规模的排场,也只有故乡才能演绎出的绝美精彩,当所有烟花燃尽,刹那归于沉静的仍不属于故乡的性格。华丽背后依然是敌不过的虚荣,那许多磨砺的没有了性格的个体,在10个多月理想与现实的交融中,最终演绎了一场华美的乐章,震惊了全世界,唯独没有惊醒自己的土地,原来绝对的唯美下并不是单纯的真实。深深迷失在夏季中的我不是唯一的主角。。。。

夏日已经走过了季节的大半,遥望星空,依然一片迷离,那个领航的星座不知藏匿在何处,云越聚越多,从飘逸的轻扫夜空逐惭化作臃肿的墨迹,星星在哭泣,月亮在呜咽,因为这个夏季云层总是挡住它们闪烁的眼睛,看不到星空下那一间温暖的灯光里才有自己牵记的容颜。

这个夏季,有人迷失了,星星迷失了,月亮迷失了。。。。

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