Summer shower

EMILY DICKINSON
(美) 艾米丽。迪金森诗选


Summer shower

A drop fell on the apple tree,
Another on the roof;
A half a dozen kissed the eaves,
And made the gables laugh.

A few went out to help the brook,
That went to help the sea.
Myself conjectured, Were they pearls,
What necklaces could be!

The dust replaced in hoisted roads,
The birds jocoser sung;
The sunshine threw his hat away,
The orchards spangles hung.

The breezes brought dejected lutes,
And bathed them in the glee;
The East put out a single flag,
And signed the fete away.


夏雨

水滴在苹果树上
另一些落在屋顶
还有些吻着屋檐
山墙在一边微笑

水滴流进了小溪
然后汇入了海洋
若那水滴是珍珠
串出的项链多美

雨水冲洗了尘土
鸟在开心的歌唱
阳光洒满了大地
果园亮晶晶闪烁

微风奏起了弦乐
果园充满了歌声
太阳在东方升起
喜庆的宴会开始

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天泽园你好，

翻译得自然流畅。用朴素的词语写成句子，还坚持每句字数相同，这很不错的。不过你这首并没有做到所有句子字数都相同。可是你为什么不把“一些”简化成“些”，“一”字可有可无，无它最佳，有它添乱。删除这个“一”字，不就通篇句子字数相同了吗？

宋德利