时事的三言两语

我晚上有时看美国的晚间秀，那些人随便调侃评说时事，有些很有趣。昨天看得是David Letterman show，给大家摘记几段。

1。最近白宫内白人黑人民主共和不同派别不同立场不同经历的五位美国总统共进午餐，据说他们一致同意的事就一件，那就是佩林是个非常火辣性感的女人。这之后，布什总统Pick up了账单，而克林顿，他Pick up了女招待。

2.挽救经济危机途径其实很多，这里是Top 10 list。

·         Encourage tourists to throw spare change in the Grand Canyon/>

·         End our dependence on foreign owls

·         Sell New Mexico/> to Mexico/>/>

·         Put a little of that bailout money on the Ravens plus 3 at Tennessee/>/>. Come on! It's a mortal lock！

·         Rent out the moon for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs

·         Lotto our way out of this son-of-a-bitch

·         Appear on "Deal or No Deal" and hope to choose the right briefcase

·         Bail out the adult film industry -- not sure how it helps, but it can't hurt

·         Release O.J. from prison, have him steal America/>'s money from China/>/>

·         Stop talkin' and start Obama-natin'! 

3. 历史上总统们伟大的讲话。布什曾经说过，“不知大家是否记得，在我们的历史上我们曾经有过太多的犹太人和意大利人。”（At one point in our history we had too many Jewish people and too many Italians. I don't know if you remember that”。）(明亮按，大家正在评选布什总统是否是近来50年中最差的总统，如果我们评选历史上最憨厚滑稽的总统，我一定投他一票。他从白宫撤到德州，真是娱乐界的一大损失啊。) 

4. 总统就职日据说奥巴马会做火车从纽约到华盛顿，沿途会有很多群众向他致意见证这一伟大历史。我们公司批准雇员可以动用一天假期。大家都纷纷请假了，我抽样调查大家去不去华盛顿看，老板说那天他刚从加州那边回机场，赶不及了。德国同学说，现场会非常混乱他不准备牺牲自己。我那天准备继续恢复睡到自然醒，估计也赶不上看典礼了。据说每届总统就职典礼都会包装得有些各人特色，比如克林顿就职那天，妇女们喝酒是免费的。

 5. 据说奥巴马心里已经订好美国商业部长的最佳人选，大概是华纳公司的理查德。请听下面一段：
Announce: "Businessman Richard Parsons is being considered to be the next Secretary of Commerce. Parsons is best   known for leading Time Warner, whose divisions included Time Warner Cable. Parsons says he'll show up for his interview with Obama on Friday some time between 9 AM and 4 PM. Time Warner Cable -- Your call is very important to us; please continue to hold."