Economic Models explained with Cows
>
> SOCIALISM
> You have 2 cows.
> You give one to your neighbor.
> COMMUNISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and gives you some milk.
> FASCISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and sells you some milk.
>
> NAZISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and shoots you.
>
> BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the
> milk away...
>
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
> You have 2 cows.
> You sell one and buy a bull.
> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
> You sell them and retire on the income.
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
> Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
>
> ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
> You have 2 cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using>
> letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then you
> execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4
> cows back, with a tax exemption for 5 cows. The milk rights of the 6 cows are
> transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned
> by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7 cows back to your listed
> company. The annual report says the company owns 8 cows, with an option on 1
> more. You sell 1 cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you
> with 9 cows. No balance sheet is provided with the release. The public then buys
> your bull.
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want
> three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
> and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon
> image called
> 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
> and milk themselves.
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are.
> You decide to have lunch.
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> You count them and learn you have 5 cows.
> You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
> You stop counting cows and open another bottle of Vodka.
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION
> You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
> You charge the owners for storing them.
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> You have 300 people milking them.
> You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
> You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
>
> AN INDIAN CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> You worship them.
>
> A BRITISH CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> Both are mad.
>
> AN IRAQI CORPORATION
> Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
> You tell them that you have none.
> No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your
> country.
> You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....
>
> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> Business seems pretty good.
> You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
>
> A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> The one on the left looks kinda cute.
> A JEWISH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
You sell one to your uncle
You sell the other one to your brother.
You buy 20 cows with the money.
A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
One gets stolen
Your neighbours slaughter the other one on their lawn and have a BBQ.
>
> SOCIALISM
> You have 2 cows.
> You give one to your neighbor.
> COMMUNISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and gives you some milk.
> FASCISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and sells you some milk.
>
> NAZISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and shoots you.
>
> BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the
> milk away...
>
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
> You have 2 cows.
> You sell one and buy a bull.
> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
> You sell them and retire on the income.
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
> Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
>
> ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
> You have 2 cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using>
> letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then you
> execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4
> cows back, with a tax exemption for 5 cows. The milk rights of the 6 cows are
> transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned
> by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7 cows back to your listed
> company. The annual report says the company owns 8 cows, with an option on 1
> more. You sell 1 cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you
> with 9 cows. No balance sheet is provided with the release. The public then buys
> your bull.
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want
> three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
> and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon
> image called
> 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
> and milk themselves.
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are.
> You decide to have lunch.
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> You count them and learn you have 5 cows.
> You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
> You stop counting cows and open another bottle of Vodka.
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION
> You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
> You charge the owners for storing them.
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> You have 300 people milking them.
> You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
> You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
>
> AN INDIAN CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> You worship them.
>
> A BRITISH CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> Both are mad.
>
> AN IRAQI CORPORATION
> Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
> You tell them that you have none.
> No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your
> country.
> You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....
>
> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> Business seems pretty good.
> You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
>
> A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
> You have 2 cows.
> The one on the left looks kinda cute.
> A JEWISH CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
You sell one to your uncle
You sell the other one to your brother.
You buy 20 cows with the money.
A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION
You have 2 cows
One gets stolen
Your neighbours slaughter the other one on their lawn and have a BBQ.
