鹿粪蛋子表面光

古今中外事,都付笑谈中。
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西方人与动物的关系过于密切,有时候到了有点儿让人恶心的地步。虽是这么评说,但人家的风俗习惯,我们要学会尊重,要了解他们的文化。

大概是在西方各国的概念中,人与"畜生"的差距不是那么大,因此人和动物之间的亲和力也大。这种亲和力在西方语言中无处不在,各种人言兽语"美轮美奂",有时你怎么猜都跟那原文意思挨不着。

年轻时因为革命需要,读过德文。其中有个德文词,至今也不能忘怀。这个词是Pferdeäpfel,它由两个简单的德文词构成:  Pferde加äpfel。Pferde = horses;äpfel = apples。用英文解释就是horses-apples,但这horses-äpples可不是"马苹果"什么的,您要是猜"马球球",虽靠点谱但也不对。简单说就是马的排泄物,用英文讲就是horse droppings,也可以叫horse dung。

德国老农的农家话想象是太多了点:  马的排泄物成球状,就像苹果(所以产生Pferdeäpfel这词)。但您也别怨,咱们祖国的语言里不也有"驴粪蛋子表面光"这样精彩的农家粗口嘛,而且中国的农家粗口,还带着"事物常是表里不一"这样的哲学亮点,这是德国老农所比之不及的。

中国思维带着哲学辨证,而西方想法更在乎生财有道。美国伊州有家动物园,就顺着"马有马球驴有驴蛋"的思路,在圣诞节前想起要借用园内的饲养的鹿来做一番节日生意:

IIllinois zoo creates ornaments from reindeer droppings

The Christmas ornaments for sale at the Miller Park Zoo's gift shop are partly manufactured by reindeer. Honest!

Staffers make decorations out of droppings from the zoo's two reindeer, Ealu and Rika. The droppings are dried, then clear-coated and either painted or rolled in glitter.

Zoo marketing director Susie Ohley has named the products "magical reindeer gem ornaments," and each comes with a label of authenticity. They cost $5 at the zoo gift shop.

Staffer Katie Buydos, who makes jewelry as a hobby, donated wire and beads, saying, "Susie asked me to bring some creativity to the table."

Some folks are surprised at the size of the "gems," which are only about as big as marbles. "Reindeer are so big," zoo maintenance worker Sheldon Williams said. But the droppings are "just a big pile of small."

动物园的两头鹿都是圣诞老人用的那种正宗驯鹿,所以这生意当然不能够是"喝鹿血吃鹿肉"那种中国式的餐馆生意,而是也要"鹿粪蛋子表面光" -- 把两头鹿的球状排泄物,风干油漆抛光上亮,摆进礼品店当圣诞礼物卖。

这家动物园礼品店诚信为本,童叟无欺。礼品取名为"神奇的驯鹿宝石装饰",并标注"纯鹿粪蛋子",美颗五美元。

驯鹿,个儿大拉的多但粪蛋小。只要这礼品好卖,礼品店不用为原材料发愁。利用人们爱动物和圣诞节假气氛,这美国人的生意新点子您还得服。

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