我的海归和归海的经历１１
从美国回来后, 在美商会的活动还是会极偶尔地碰到冷酷男. 我俩居然象是商量好的, 非常默契地对过往的事情一概不提. 只是象老朋友那样打着招呼, 说着一些BUSINESS, 装腔作势又好象若无其事. 他有时候也会试探着说＂maybe we should have dinner sometimes？”, 我回应着说好呀好呀，可是他不知道是没有勇气还是没有兴趣，一直没有正式邀请过我.
在后来一年多的时间里，在断断续续碰到他的那几次，每次他给我的名片几乎都是不一样的．我知道他后来七七八八尝试过做好几个BUSINESS, 也同时在一个律师事务所挂名做consultant, 一直到最后他和朋友一起合伙开了一个好象是ＨＲ方面的顾问公司，总之，是个对他来说全新的领域．我记得他告诉我的时候，说了句, the good news is, 我以后主要做市场，这样我将来可以帮你引荐更多的潜在客户．我当时听了这话，觉得非常的CONFUSE. 一直到现在我都不明白为什么冷酷男那么关心和渴望帮助我的business. 因为他骄傲的态度让我绝对不想再庸人自饶自做多情．他对我真的是个迷，而我后来实在是没有时间精力兴趣再和他玩猜迷了．
差不多每隔两三个月, 冷酷男都会给我发个EMAIL, 连基本的问候语都没有, 就一句话 “某某某是我在工作中遇到的，他的联系方式blahblah, 你和他联系一下也许你们将来可以合作＂对他这样的email, 我每次都很礼貌很及时地回复感谢．直到最后一次．
那天也是因为一点事情心情比较低落, 在一个深秋有点寒意的晚上, 看到冷酷男这样的email, 突然觉得无比烦躁, 那一瞬间连简短地敷衍一下的心情都没有.
这件事情过去的一个月后，我在美商会的活动里碰到他，我想着刚好有机会和他打个招呼并表示一下礼貌性的感谢.
那天晚上一开始, 我就感觉到冷酷男拒人于千里之外的冰冷和漠然…. 其实那天活动去的人不算多, 我又穿的比较醒目, 正常的情况下, 他应该在我进门的时候就看到我了. 可是他连看都不看我一眼, 并一直都在IGNORE 我的EYE CONTACT, 让我甚至没有一个主动去和他打招呼的台阶… 甚至我站在吧台旁边的时候, 他在我面前走过, 近在伸手的距离, 他都还是没有看我一眼…我一开始以为他又在一如既往扮酷装B, 甚至抱有一点好笑地想看看他的表演怎样落幕的心情…然而在人渐散去的时候, 在呆了两个多小时以后, 在我心不在焉地和人聊完天之后的刻意地逡巡下, 蓦然地发现, 他已经不知道在什么时候悄悄地走了…他就这样, 就这样, 自始至终完全当我是空气, 居然连一声招呼都不打, 就这样地离开了.
那是我最后一次见到冷酷男.
那天晚上在开车回家的路上, 一场暴雨刚刚结束. 10 点多的延安路高架竟然堵到无法移动…雨后的城市如洗净风尘般清撤而柔媚, 在夜色里显的分外的魊魅而凄美. 我望着高架路两边灯火辉惶的夜景, 远远近近的霓虹灯流离闪烁…我看到第一次见到冷酷男时他指给我的可以帮他找到家的那栋楼, 泪居然不知不觉地悄悄滑落下来, 尽管我甚至不知道是应该觉得庆幸还是悲哀… 其实那时候我已经彻底从对冷酷男的感情里走出来了, 然后这样一个不堪的结局却是我始料不及的. 我到现在都不明白冷酷男当初对我到底是怎样的一份感情, 也永远无从发现他这样的反应仅仅是因为我没有回他一封最最普通的EMAIL? 在和他兜兜转转的这两年, 我始终还是没有能够明白他. 然而, 我知道, 我的人生里, 他的这一页到此是彻底的翻过去了.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
文学城顺流逆流版权所有，未经本人同意, 请勿转载, 谢谢
我的海归和归海的经历１１
luckystarweiwei 发表评论于
I think 冷酷男 doesn't love you. Even though he might love (or say like) you at the beginning, I believe he forgot this afterwards. Don't make things so complicated to suspect that he is under big pressure, self-denying his love to you, feeling your personalities are not compatible....There is a movie called "He is just not that into you", which explains everything.
Sorry I don't want to be mean but can't help pointing out the truth.It's better to face the failure in our life, including everybody of us.
Sorry I don't want to be mean but can't help pointing out the truth.It's better to face the failure in our life, including everybody of us.
pj 发表评论于
I think 冷酷男 never cared you before. What he wanted from you was only SEX.
nydct 发表评论于
其实冷酷男早已把你这一页翻过去了。他后来所有的殷勤不过是不想hurt you too much,不过是想有一个平和的ending.瞧，他的目的不是达到了么？
allenko88 发表评论于
I was deeply moved by your article. I am so surprised, if a girl likes her boyfriend, she can pretend to not like him as what you have done. I am totally surprised!
There are many types of good boys, but many good boy will stay away from you if he find you are not interested in him.
Because he want to find someone like himself also, just like you want to find someone like you. So if you really like that cool guy, why don’t you express to him, it is not a question of who will win or lose face, the one who express his feeling is the brave one, he or she deserve respect. I am sure you can let that cool guy come back if you apologize to him and tell her all your feelings toward him. But I don’t think he is a good one for you.
I just feel the cool guy is not a serious person. He is not serious about relationship. But I also feel you are also not serious, you don’t consider Chinese, because you think they think too much about the long term relation, which mean they are responsible and reliable. Generally most western people are more interested in short term relation, they always looking for fun and excitement. Not the peaceful love like water. I am not saying who is better than others, it depends your preference, but since you choose to date western boyfriend, you should realize this, not too serious. Don’t be jealous and angry if he has other friends. I just feel you want to make friends with western guy, but you also want to use Chinese guy’s standards to measure them, it is not realistic.
Also, I just feel you are wasting your time and energy, if you have a family, you will never have this kind of trouble about your feeling. You will focus on how to take care your family, how to make money. No need to experience this painful experience.
There are many types of good boys, but many good boy will stay away from you if he find you are not interested in him.
Because he want to find someone like himself also, just like you want to find someone like you. So if you really like that cool guy, why don’t you express to him, it is not a question of who will win or lose face, the one who express his feeling is the brave one, he or she deserve respect. I am sure you can let that cool guy come back if you apologize to him and tell her all your feelings toward him. But I don’t think he is a good one for you.
I just feel the cool guy is not a serious person. He is not serious about relationship. But I also feel you are also not serious, you don’t consider Chinese, because you think they think too much about the long term relation, which mean they are responsible and reliable. Generally most western people are more interested in short term relation, they always looking for fun and excitement. Not the peaceful love like water. I am not saying who is better than others, it depends your preference, but since you choose to date western boyfriend, you should realize this, not too serious. Don’t be jealous and angry if he has other friends. I just feel you want to make friends with western guy, but you also want to use Chinese guy’s standards to measure them, it is not realistic.
Also, I just feel you are wasting your time and energy, if you have a family, you will never have this kind of trouble about your feeling. You will focus on how to take care your family, how to make money. No need to experience this painful experience.
octopusy 发表评论于
逸青, then you should use another analog. two cars in same running field are the same, "two parts in the same car" will be more suitable.
agree 你发掘了这样的一个人物，创造性地演了这么一场drama
People are so different, I may do the same thing, but I will never see it as a mentionalbe experience or drama.
Quite funny, seeing other people making out that 12 paragraphs. I admit, I was reading the whole of them as ironies although the author doesnt mean it.
agree 你发掘了这样的一个人物，创造性地演了这么一场drama
People are so different, I may do the same thing, but I will never see it as a mentionalbe experience or drama.
Quite funny, seeing other people making out that 12 paragraphs. I admit, I was reading the whole of them as ironies although the author doesnt mean it.
summerbird 发表评论于
我真是没有看懂这个故事，搞得太复杂了吧？喜欢的话，要实实在在说出来啊，认为对方有问题的话（包括情绪、心理、个性等等），也可以平心静气地询问对方啊.....
总的感觉就是，海归是因为冲动的激越，归海是因为冲动后的无趣。
看见山看见水，往往是因为心中（下意识中）想要看见山看见水，这么解释，冷酷男这样的角色真的是你下意识需要的。你发掘了这样的一个人物，创造性地演了这么一场drama。
挺有启发的回忆。不过现在(present)更重要。
心理分析的习惯，要调整一下。因为心理分析总是处理过去的数据，却变换不出来创造性的突破。
总的感觉就是，海归是因为冲动的激越，归海是因为冲动后的无趣。
看见山看见水，往往是因为心中（下意识中）想要看见山看见水，这么解释，冷酷男这样的角色真的是你下意识需要的。你发掘了这样的一个人物，创造性地演了这么一场drama。
挺有启发的回忆。不过现在(present)更重要。
心理分析的习惯，要调整一下。因为心理分析总是处理过去的数据，却变换不出来创造性的突破。
逸青 发表评论于
真有意思，翻一页是一片赞誉，再翻一页又是一片批评!山上的会说，快爬，还差那。山下的回说，哦，这样的风景感触相同。我真的很希望你能跳出这个圈子，忘了你是谁，你就会很清楚的了解真相了。
逸青 发表评论于
其实，作者真的在追求幸福的爱情。她在经历中成长。每个人都不是完美的，所以应该包容别人的不完美，当然不要忘记追求完美。有些时候，只有在错了之后，才能明白什么是自己真正想要的。而女人往往活在自己编织的梦里，而男人都活在现实世界。调整一下自己，想要幸福也不是难事。
逸青 发表评论于
你俩根本就不是一条道上跑的车！没错阿，你再想想。感情和婚姻，都需要互补。做不到互补怎么能跑到一起。
油吨子 发表评论于
回复octopusy的评论:
Lost in Shanghai, 好名字！
Lost in Shanghai, 好名字！
cnca 发表评论于
回复邢羽胭的评论:
难得你自己承认是个怨妇，你要那么高兴，自己把泼妇一块拿去做好了！高不高兴各人自己心里最明白，就象楼主的文章一样。至于发嗲，还是那句话，乘早上你那个match.com再碰碰运气找个合适的对象去发吧！这可不是你发嗲的地方，真不知道你在吃哪门子的醋，上这来交个什么劲？！
难得你自己承认是个怨妇，你要那么高兴，自己把泼妇一块拿去做好了！高不高兴各人自己心里最明白，就象楼主的文章一样。至于发嗲，还是那句话，乘早上你那个match.com再碰碰运气找个合适的对象去发吧！这可不是你发嗲的地方，真不知道你在吃哪门子的醋，上这来交个什么劲？！
whycare 发表评论于
At the end, only your family will give you the true love.
cnca 发表评论于
回复邢羽胭的评论:
对不起俺还是头次听说这个什么match.com，你是那的常客吗？是不是经常上那去，又没钓到什么大鱼，所以说起话来那么不平衡，一付怨妇模样，就知道会有你这种货色要跳出来撒泼！省点时间和精力上你那个match.com再碰碰运气吧！
对不起俺还是头次听说这个什么match.com，你是那的常客吗？是不是经常上那去，又没钓到什么大鱼，所以说起话来那么不平衡，一付怨妇模样，就知道会有你这种货色要跳出来撒泼！省点时间和精力上你那个match.com再碰碰运气吧！
辛格莱 发表评论于
无病呻吟，何苦来
男人在硅谷 发表评论于
Why not tell him that you love him? You should know 死要面子，活受罪。You still have his email address, though Valentine's Day was just over.
mzgw 发表评论于
Agree "cnca". 应该是自信受到打击而流泪。
cnca 发表评论于
天！居然最后还要流泪，真不明白你这泪是为何而流。若真是为了感情而流，那还值得些许同情，若是为了装b装输而流，那你纯粹活该！Sorry, maybe that sounds so mean, but that's really true.
cnca 发表评论于
说白了还是自己不够精明，象这种这么能装b的男人，既然一开始就看出来了，当时利马就应该当机立断不要交往。一个小屁国的内阁成员算个屁！想当年北美某国党魁级的人物见过几次面、吃过两次饭后，发现劲头不对，利马毫不留情的断绝来往，甚至email address都删得干干净净。
quickstart 发表评论于
What a piece of shit.
octopusy 发表评论于
逸青, this time you are wrong, they are the same cars in the same running field, for that sake they are both tired of the relationship.
Agree 真无聊，这种感情游戏。
Contentswise are these articles quite boring,
literarily No.7/8 are the best, from 9 on is only redundant, too much subjective analyse and naive summary a "然而, 我知道, 我的人生里, 他的这一页到此是彻底的翻过去了" As I read this, I cannot help smiling, it sounds like those essays from primary school kids:-)
Concerning the contents of all paragraphs, the title
我的海归和归海的经历 is quite irrelevant and misleading, maybe "lost in Shanghai"?
逸青 发表评论于
套用我妈的一句话：你俩根本就不是一条道上跑的车！
redwest 发表评论于
真无聊，这种感情游戏。
怀着我的梦想 发表评论于
这一封最最普通的EMAIL或许对他很重要，对于一个过于自重，虚荣，爱掩饰的男人，这如同你对他的蔑视，他希望看到你对他感恩戴德，虽然这些information在BUSINESS里可能对你无助，对一个自私的人，任何付出，都会偏爱的加重其分量。
这一页早该撕下，扔进垃圾。
这一页早该撕下，扔进垃圾。
xiaonüren 发表评论于
男人如果事业上不能稳定下来，就不会自信地和女人交往，更不可能想象去和女人结婚成家，这样的承担太重了。冷酷男也是人，也不外乎人之常理，这我也是从我的有限的人生阅历中读懂的。所以你最明智的作法是忘记这一切，开始新感情，这也是说来容易作来难，需要时间来真的抚平这一切。希望能看到你在以后的故事中有一个幸福的感情归属!
登录后才可评论.
