英语散文: 如果有来生 Living Life Over

If I had my life to live over...I would have talked less and listened more.
如果我的生命有轮回......我会寡言多闻。

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was strained and the sofa faded.
我会邀请朋友们来家里夜宵，即使这样会弄脏了地毯，使沙发的颜色淡去也再所不惜。

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
我会抽出时间来听祖父漫谈他的青涩年华。

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
我再不会在那个炎热的夏天也执意摇起车窗，因为我那刚刚染了色而被取笑的头发。

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
我会将雕刻成玫瑰模样的粉色蜡烛在它即将熔化在记忆之前点燃。

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
我会和我的孩子们围坐在青青草坪，而再不去管它们会被压损或是怎样。

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television-and more while watching life.
我会把我的欢笑和泪水更多的献给生活而不是电视剧。

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding patter if I were not there for the day.
我会在自己生病是时候躺在床上休息，而不是重复着地球没有我就难以运转的“谎言”。

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical,would not show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
我将不会因为某件事情既成事实就接受相信，也将不会显露堕落并保证一生都不会。

There would have been more I love yous ... more I'm sorrys...but mostly, given another shots at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really see it...live it...and never give it back.
来生将会有更多的“我爱你”...... 更多的“对不起”...... 而更重要的是，我将会在来生做一些此生不曾有过的尝试，我会抓住每时每刻...... 审视生命......真正的去了解生命......感受生命......永不放弃。

(ZT)



天泽园你好，

这组句子很好，译得也不错。只是有个别词句似乎还有待于精雕细刻，有些我个人觉得似乎不太准确，我把自己有看法的词语都挑出来用星号标注，并写出了自己的看法。

此外，我认为这些话属于警句或谚语之类，恐怕不宜直译，否则就失去了应有的隽永韵味。似乎可以用汉语中现成的成语、俗语、俚语等直接替换。当然这要很费脑筋去挑选汉语的对应语。我现在一时还想不好。

以上意见都没有进过深思熟虑，只是粗略想法，因此不一定对，仅供参考。说得不对，以你的为准。


宋德利



附录：


I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was strained and the sofa faded.

我会邀请朋友们来家里夜宵，即使这样会弄脏了地毯，使沙发的颜色淡去也再所不惜。


I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

我会抽出时间来听祖父漫谈他的青涩年华。


I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

我再不会在那个炎热的夏天也执意摇起车窗，因为我那刚刚染了色而被取笑的头发。


*tease梳理，spray喷（发胶）。

*你那个“因为”后面没有谓语，因此算是词组。不如放到句子里面。可译成：我决不会因为刚刚梳理过头发和喷过发胶就在夏日里将车窗摇起。


I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

我会将雕刻成玫瑰模样的粉色蜡烛在它即将熔化在记忆之前点燃。


*模样，人才说模样，物件似乎应说形状。因此可说“雕刻成玫瑰状的粉色蜡烛”。

*熔化，是具象化的词，专指高温使固体液化。此处应用“融化”。不如说：融入记忆之前点燃。


I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

我会和我的孩子们围坐在青青草坪，而再不去管它们会被压损或是怎样。


*grass stains，指因坐在草地上，裤子被草色弄脏而出现色痕。是指只愿意和孩子们坐在草地上，也不管衣物被草色染脏。

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding patter if I were not there for the day.

我会在自己生病是时候躺在床上休息，而不是重复着地球没有我就难以运转的“谎言”。

*patter，指荒谬言论，可说是“无稽之谈”，似非指“谎言”。

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical,would not show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

我将不会因为某件事情既成事实就接受相信，也将不会显露堕落并保证一生都不会。

*Practical，实用性。是说买东西不看是否有实用价值，比如有时光是因为喜欢等。

There would have been more I love yous ... more I'm sorrys...but mostly, given another shots at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really see it...live it...and never give it back.

来生将会有更多的“我爱你”...... 更多的“对不起”...... 而更重要的是，我将会在来生做一些此生不曾有过的尝试，我会抓住每时每刻...... 审视生命......真正的去了解生命......感受生命......永不放弃。

*Shots，中肯的话，一针见血的评语。指：说得最多的则是针对生活而言中肯话语， 即“箴言”。言外之意，“爱你”、“对不起”之类是空话，只有箴言才中肯有益。