A year and a half
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
~Gracie Allen
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
~Gracie Allen
Things get worse
We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our butt then things get worse.
Hydrogen and stupidity
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
Two words
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
When you're finished
Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when you're finished.
Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when you're finished.
Giving up smoking
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. ~ Mark Twain
The difference
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
Three sides to any argument
There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.
Making up
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.~Charles Lam
The brain
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office
Neighbor's newspaper
It's always darkest before dawn So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
Don't be irreplaceable
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
