在中国，法律的概念可能带着"犯什么别犯罪、要什么不要被人告"的威严，但在美国，"法律面前人人平等"，法律除了尊严外，各类诉讼案例经常千奇百怪，让人忍俊不禁。这不，就算是上帝也一样被人告。
Ernie Chambers是内布拉斯加的州参议员，是位有着35年立法经历的老议员。这位立法老人深知法院的大门应该对所有人敞开，但近来有些参议员们时不时要提法律议案，企图用法律来禁止一些特别类型的诉讼案发生。对此，Chambers老先生动了"肝火"，认为这违反美国法律宗旨，于是他启用妙招: 告上帝，以此证明美国法律容许任何人告任何人，包括上帝 -- 我连无处不在无所不能的上帝都告，看你还怎么限制其他人诉讼。
美国人对上帝怀着虔诚敬爱，但也时常拿他老人家开涮。
在这起案例中，Chambers是原告，上帝是被告。首先该案认可上帝有着各种名称、别名、头衔、以及尊号(God, Lord, Mighty Power, Almighty, Creator, Father, Jehovah, King of kings, ... you name it)，也承认上帝无处不在(omnipresent)。但该案原告要求法院出台法令，命令上帝停止一切有害行为，不再制造恐怖威胁。
美国人的扯淡也没个完，要法院命令上帝，法院比上帝还能耐? "恐怖"是现如今美国的时髦词，连上帝都被怀疑成"恐怖"分子了? 看来政治上的"活学活用"并非中国人的专利。
接着原告还跟玩真的似的，要考虑本案的特殊性，同意免除被告亲自出庭(waive personal service)。理由是既然上帝无处不在，他就能够对本案了如指掌，出不出庭一个样。
出庭可免，但罗列上帝罪状一条也不能少。美国是个"one nation, under God"，星条旗下美利坚合众国宣言，人人都这么说。上帝派耶稣来拯救人类，美国是"天子之国"，受到上帝的特殊眷顾，怎么Chambers老头儿还敢对上帝"大不敬"，真是大胆贼人一个。不仅犯"大不敬"，而且还罄竹难书般地列举上帝恐吓人类的斑斑劣迹，好像无所不能的上帝，恐吓起人来也是无所不能。列数的罪状五花八门，像戏词一样精彩，也是学习英文词汇的好材料:
fearsome floods = 让人胆怯的洪水,
egregious earthquakes = 危害巨大的地震,
horrendous hurricanes = 肆意发威的飓风,
terrifying tornadoes = 令人惧怕的龙卷风,
pestilential plagues = 死神缠绕的瘟疫,
ferocious famines = 惨不忍睹的饥饿,
devastating droughts = 严重的干旱,
genocidal wars = 杀戮人类的战争,
birth defects = 无辜胎儿的出生畸形
等等等等，中文一时还真难有这么多新鲜词儿用来描述这些上帝制造的各个门类的大灾大难(calamitous catastrophes)。跟绕口令似的把人类所经受过的灾难尽数扣在上帝老儿头上。
Chambers没完没了数落上帝，不仅用这些灾难恐吓人类，而且没有同情心也不见有丝毫悔改。原告甚至声言，灾难发生时上帝还会嘲笑人类。
按原告所诉，上帝的行为严重危害了人类，包括他所属选区内的子民。既然涉及到他选区子民的利益，他的职责所在就不能不管。因此，他要为民鼓与呼。Chambers要替民请愿，便一本状纸将上帝参到法庭。
鉴于事态的严重性，原告要求法庭尽速举行听证，然后颁布法令，永久禁止上帝从事上述那些对人类的有害活动、停止对人类恐吓威胁。
这案子听起来是够邪呼的，可美国大法平等为本，也不能立某条某款禁止人们控告上帝不是! 既然没有禁止告上帝，那自然就会有人"大胆妄为"。现在，Chambers在当地法院对上帝发难，看起来是a point that should be well taken by court。但难题留在了法院，有人递诉状法院就得受理，Chambers的诉讼还真有点有理有节，除非有理由能够合法正当地拒绝立案。
Chambers有Chambers的理，法院也有法院的道，要不这美国法律笑谈就难以为续了。美国法律既有威也有笑话，但更多的是繁文缛节。在内布拉斯加州法的某处犄角旮旯里，规定被告必需要有合法地址。然而上帝没有合法地址，也就是说，上帝在内布拉斯加州无法成为被告。既然Chambers的案子没了被告，自然也就无法立案。
"告上帝"在"美国法律之最"中也能算上一条。下面附Chambers告上帝和法院不予立案的两条新闻，其中的英文词汇和法理用语花样不少。
(告上帝新闻)
OMAHA, Neb -- State Sen. Ernie Chambers is suing God. He said on Monday that it is to prove a point about frivolous lawsuits.
Chambers said senators periodically have offered bills prohibiting the filing of certain types of suits. He said his main objection is that the constitution requires that the doors to the courthouse be open to all.
"Thus anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody -- even God," Chambers said.
Chambers lawsuit, which was filed on Friday in Douglas County Court, seeks a permanent injunction ordering God to cease certain harmful activities and the making of terroristic threats.
The lawsuit admits God goes by all sorts of alias, names, titles and designations and it also recognizes the fact that the defendant is omnipresent.
In the lawsuit, Chambers said he's tried to contact God numerous times.
"Plaintiff, despite reasonable efforts to effectuate personal service upon defendant 'Come out, come out, wherever you are,' has been unable to do so,'" Chambers said.
The suit also requests that the court, given the peculiar circumstances of this case, waive personal service. It said that being omniscient, the plaintiff assumes God will have actual knowledge of the action.
The lawsuit accuses God "of making and continuing to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons, including constituents of Plaintiff who Plaintiff has the duty to represent." It says God has caused "fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects and the like."
The suit also says God has caused "calamitous catastrophes resulting in the wide-spread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants including innocent babes, infants, children, the aged and infirm without mercy or distinction."
Chambers also says God "has manifested neither compassion nor remorse, proclaiming that defendant will laugh" when calamity comes.
Chambers asks for the court to grant him a summary judgment. He said as an alternative, he wants the judge to set a date for a hearing as expeditiously as possible and enter a permanent injunction enjoining God from engaging in the types of deleterious actions and the making of terroristic threats described in the lawsuit.
(法院不予立案新闻)
LINCOLN, Neb. - A judge has thrown out a Nebraska legislator's lawsuit against God, saying the Almighty wasn't properly served due to his unlisted home address.
State Sen. Ernie Chambers filed the lawsuit last year seeking a permanent injunction against God. He said God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents in Omaha, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."
Chambers has said he filed the lawsuit to make the point that everyone should have access to the courts regardless of whether they are rich or poor.
On Tuesday, however, Douglas County District Court Judge Marlon Polk ruled that under state law a plaintiff must have access to the defendant for a lawsuit to move forward.
"Given that this court finds that there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant this action will be dismissed with prejudice," Polk wrote.
Chambers, who graduated from law school but never took the bar exam, thinks he's found a hole in the judge's ruling.
"The court itself acknowledges the existence of God," Chambers said Wednesday. "A consequence of that acknowledgment is a recognition of God's omniscience."
Therefore, Chambers said, "Since God knows everything, God has notice of this lawsuit."
Chambers has 30 days to decide whether to appeal. He said he hasn't decided yet.
Chambers, who has served a record 38 years in the Nebraska Legislature, is not returning next year because of term limits. He skips morning prayers during the legislative session and often criticizes Christians.
