泡茶与泡妞

泡茶,饮食也;泡妞,情色也;而食、色乃人之常性。细心者不难发现,泡茶与泡妞,二者实乃异曲同工,殊途同归:   

首先都要心情。心情好,则泡粗茶也香甘,泡陋女亦幸福;心情坏,则饮佳茗如喝白水,索然无味;泡美眉如搂木头,不喜反忧。  

其次还要讲究环境。古人在《花寮记》中把凉台、静室、松风、竹月、清谈、把卷等十多种时空景点列为品茶的上佳环境。如此幽雅境况,泡的、品的就绝非仅仅一杯茶了,它泡出了山水诗书、淡泊宁静与从容自在。泡妞的环境,也不可过于随便。诸如花前月下、影院包厢、茶寮雅座、舞池幽角、碰碰车中、过山车上……举凡能泡制两人充分沟通、合作默契的环境所在,自然是泡妞首选吧?而在人多眼杂、气氛庄严的教室、操场、图书馆、阅览室泡妞,则实在是有辱斯文,还不如到网络聊天室去狂泡!心情为主观,环境为客观,环境太糟,就会反客为主,那样的话,泡茶,泡妞就没有意思了。  

泡茶要学《茶经》,泡妞要学《玉女心经》,这样,对付不同的茶、不同的妞,方可泡之而得心应手。一方水土养一方人,也长一方茶:绿茶龙井,犹如苏杭佳丽,清绝闻名;红茶普洱,好比滇黔村妇,热情纯朴;花茶茉莉,就象巴蜀少女,香辣浓酽;至于潮汕功夫茶,则仿佛水乡渔女一般水灵小巧、风情热烈了……于是,茶、女不同,泡法就不同,随机应变,才能挥洒自如。泡新茶,水不可太沸,谨防中毒(据说新茶氧化不足而存留微毒,沸水泡之则溶解毒素快且多);泡少女,情不能太激,顾及后果(小姑娘还有待成熟,性激则易生恶果);泡老茶,必用沸水,才能出味;泡老大姑(或叫做问题女人吧),用情须火,才能融化其心中的坚冰……以此类推,据之宝典,施于辩证,几可无往而不泡也。  

泡茶、泡妞得有必要的程序,循序渐进,持之以恒,软磨久泡,方可水到泡成。对此,林语堂先生最有心得了:第一泡,如十二三岁少女(清纯也);第二泡,如十七八岁姑娘(浓郁也);第三泡,已是而立少妇(成熟且平淡)……“心急喝不了热茶”,如有必要,还应“冷水泡茶慢慢浓”,泡茶、泡妞最忌急燥,那样,是品不到个中三味的。如此算来,泡茶如泡妞,人生三昧尽在其中。甜酸苦辣,只有躬行力践,才能切身体悟。

茶有茶道,妇有妇道,泡之也应有道。能否得道,存乎一心。于是,泡茶、泡妞的最高境界就如“泡禅”了。当年,赵州禅师于茶中悟道,“赵州茶”便成为禅林公案的一个话头和机锋:有弟子问“何为佛西来意”?赵州喝道“吃茶去”!当头棒喝,今天听来,犹自振聋发聩。万一猴年马月狗日,泡出了最高境界,你一不小心得道了,何妨也开山纳徒,并告之不二法门“泡妞去”!女弟子怎办?更好办——“你想参禅得道吗?先给师父泡泡吧!”

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