6/16 星期二

从冲绳回来已经是第二天, 大脑还处于混沌状态. 本来是想过个安逸的周末, 谈一场无风无浪的成年人的有节制的恋爱, 结果最后又是弄成8点档的琼瑶戏, 起伏迭荡, 精彩万分, 看得我自己都目瞪口呆. 我和Kevin, 还真是冤家, 好的时候好得不得了, 甜蜜得让我自己都觉得有点牙酸, 不好的时候, 一个哭, 一个叫, 又闹又哄, 然后疯狂飞车的赶飞机, way too dramatic... 我这把年纪再这么和他折腾几个回合, 恐怕离仙逝也不远, 一时间还真拿不定主意, 要爱情, 还是要命???

周五一到下班时间, 我拎着行李如逃跑一般的窜出办公室, 直奔机场. 我现在一提坐飞机都害怕, 总是觉得要迟到, 赶不上. 我的飞行旅程不是很愉快, 旁边的位置上坐了对couple, 从起飞开始, 那个女的就没停过嘴, 一直在用极高极annoying的声音讲着什么, 我即便戴着耳机也可以听到她的声音. 在我几乎忍无可忍而要告诉她闭嘴的时候, 她终于停下来, 和她男朋友手牵着手开始睡觉, 我替她男朋友默哀, 都说一个女人等于500只鸭子, 他找的这个顶5000只, LOL. 冲绳天气很差, 下雨, 飞机迟了大概10多分钟, Kevin早就到了, 等了将近半小时, 一直开着车在机场外面兜圈, 机场门口是出租车和BUS的专用线, 私人车不可以停. 重逢的喜悦被坏天气破坏了很多, 我把行李和自己扔进车, 一切很自然, 似乎我们从来没有分开过一个多月那么久. 晚饭, 聊天, Kevin said, "its kinda weird that you are here again", "Fine, I could leave if thats werid", "Come on... you know what I mean, I mean it seems that you have never left." That must be my ghost, LOL. 第一个晚上, 一切正常, 重逢, 甜蜜, 无争执.

周六, 我很早醒来, 天气似乎还不错, 至少没有下雨. 想出去跑步, Kevin嘟囔着, "be careful, there are some guys who would harass jogging girls", 然后把我抱得更紧, 潜台词是说, stay with me, I dont want you to check out or be checked out by other cute guys, LOL. 一直睡到中午, Kevin饿得无法继续睡下去了, 这样的时候他才会起来, 我真的觉得他脑袋里可能有虫, 专门让人昏睡那种. 早餐兼午饭, 然后开车一路向北, 他说要去冲绳岛的最北端, 我也不知道那里有什么好看的, 反正他开车, 去哪儿我都无所谓. 一路上, 为了放谁的ipod又是一场"撕杀", 我要听Linkin Park, 他说Linkin Park is gay, 他喜欢的那个hard rock band听起来就好象噪音, 让人有种跳下车, 拿刀剁了谁的冲动. Kevin摇头晃脑的自得其乐, 我白了他一眼, 转头看车外的风景. 阴天, 多云, 远处海和天几乎是一种颜色, 没有分界线, 这种感觉很奇妙. 偶尔太阳会露出一些, 几缕太阳的光柱照在远处的海面上, 在乌云的背景里显得格外耀眼, 好象[GHOST]里男主角升天堂的那个场面, 灵魂随着那些光芒上升... 冲绳岛的最北端, 当年冲绳岛失守的时候, 很多人在这里跳崖"自杀", 据说很多是被迫的. 悬崖下面, 湿冷的礁石, 沉默的海, 阴天让这里的风景更加萧瑟. 散落着几块石碑, 我翻译给Kevin听, 有的是纪念体育大会的, 有的是纪念曾在冲绳居住过的诗人的, 还有一个是纪念冲绳回归日本, 在美军的若干年占领之后. 当然, 形容占领军的词自然不会是褒义词, Kevin一副很惊奇的表情, 说他以为冲绳人喜欢美国人超过日本本土的人, 我心想, 难道他们会在你面前讲讨厌美国人?! 开车回去, 又要两个小时, 冲绳岛还是蛮大的, 夕阳西下, 天空的云都染成粉红色, 很美丽. 接下来, 晚饭, 回家, Kevin在阳台上支上躺椅, beers, music(my ipod!!! cos he forgot his ipod in car, LOL), 很愉快的周六夜晚.

周日, 大战即将爆发. 又是睡, 到了中午, Kevin也不要起来, 总是说"再躺30分钟", 我饿得几乎要咬他的鼻子. 去厨房里转了一圈, 冰箱里只有几打啤酒, 和tomato juice, 那个"恶心"的东西倒找我钱, 我都不要喝. 最后在我的包里发现了一袋candy, 拿到卧室, Kevin半闭着眼和我"虎口夺食". 一直这么耗到下午4点, 他老人家终于觉得该起来了, 估计是他也饿得受不了, 于是, 我们去吃turkish food. 餐厅就在他家附近, 走路不过10分钟, 他还是要开车, 我真搞不懂, 走几步就那么难???!!! 难得外面没有下雨, 空气清爽, 我真受不了一直闷在空调房间和汽车里, 那种化学清新剂的味道让我觉得快要抓狂, 我对气味一向很敏感. 后来和一个朋友讲这件事, 朋友是美国长大的德国人, 他说, 这是美国文化的一个部分, 哪怕5分钟的路程, 也要开车. 这倒是可以解释为什么美国人总是在减肥, 却仍有那么多大胖子, 都是坐出来的! Kevin虽然现在很fit, 那是得益于他的工作, 在jet上爬上爬下的, 胖了干不了, 将来等他退居文职, 按他的"拼命吃拼命睡又不走路"的生活习惯, 早晚长成一胖子. 

吃过饭, 已经将近6点. 我说我们在海边散散步, 他说他不喜欢走路, 要回家chilling. By chilling, what he means is that, sitting in front of TV, but not watching, cos he would switch all channels with remote control, and just staring at the TV, with his brain totally blank! I know exactly what he would do, 我觉得我已经忍不住要爆发了. 但是, 我不想吵架, 于是, 在10分钟之内收拾好东西, 对Kevin说, "alright, can you send me to the airport now? or help me to call a cab? then you can chill as much as you want, I would never bother." "Whats wrong?" 他一脸不解的表情, see, that is the problem, he never knows whats wrong! "Nothing wrong, I just wanna go home, then I can do whatever I wanna do, and you can stay here, do whatever you wanna do, by YOURSELF!" I said. "Ohhh... you really dont like turkish food, do you?" Kevin似乎恍然大悟, 我却快要晕倒, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE TURKISH FOOD!!! dumb ass... "There is something you wanna do, but I dont, and I did them for you, but you would never do anything I want. Its always ME who is compromising, and I am exhausted! I cant do this any more... maybe this is not a good idea, we rushing too much, and we dont know each other well enough..." 我忍无可忍, 终于说了出来. Kevin一脸难以置信的表情, "you dont want to see me any more???" "I dont know... I really dont know..." 眼泪再也止不住, 我真的不知道. "I am sorry... but I did something for you, yesterday, I drove to the north cape, its for you, its a long drive, not so fun, but I did it for you..." 我心里想, 我可从来没说过我想去那里, 是你决定的, 但是没有说出口, I changed to another point, "this morning, how many times I told you that I was starving, that doesnt mean anything to u? do you really care about me?" "Sorry... cos I wasnt so starving yet, I thought we could go to eat when we both starving..." "HA! listen to yourself, you wanna eat only when you starving, then what about me??? you are so self-concentrated!" Kevin被我驳得无话可说, "you are right, I was a bit selfish", "Not a bit! you always think about yourself, you wanna eat, you wanna sleep, you want this, you want that... its always about YOU!" 我一边哭, 一边"控诉", Kevin的表情象只受伤的小狗, 可怜兮兮的看着我, "I am sorry, so sorry... ohhhh, you make me wanna cry too..." 我的指责还没有完, "And you take all my efforts for granted, never appreciated. you are way too spoiled, I am looking for a life partner, and we should be on the even level, if you want someone who spoils you all the time, go find somebody else, I cant do that." Kevin继续低头认错, "right, maybe I am a bit spoiled, I didnt think how much effort you made, and I will check my schedule, next time I go to tokyo", "nah... what you would do in tokyo? sleep again?" "No, I can clean your room for you..." 这一句让我破涕为笑, Kevin is good at this, since he was a little boy, screwing things up, then being cute and sweet to make people forgive him. Kevin继续说, "I will change, might not be able to change right away, but give me some time, weeks, months, I will..." 说实话, 我不是很相信人会改变什么, 但是他这么说, 我也只有这么听.

气氛总算缓和下来, 我也哭累了, 恰好电视上在演American Idol第二名那个人的interview, 于是我们两个人的注意力都被转移到那儿去了. 我一看表, 已经7点了, 9点的飞机, 我们该出发了. 结果, Kevin开始"闹", 象小孩子一样, "No, you not going anywhere, you stay here, tomorrow I go to work, and you can sleep as much as you want..." "WHAT??? hey... I got a job, and I have to work tomorrow too..." "No... you stay here, you hear me?" "ohhh god, dont be such a baby... ok ok, I will come again, I promise, ok?" 7点半, our 5-year-old boy Kevin, finally got up from the couch, looked at his watch, "SHIT!!! we not gonna make it..." 天啊... 我这回哭都哭不出来了, 我要回家!!! 飞奔下楼, 上车, 直奔高速公路, 限速80的地方他开出130, 这是闹得哪出儿啊, 我可不想死在冲绳... 8点20分, 赶到机场, 顾不得找停车位, 我一路跑去柜台check-in, 总算赶上了. Kevin送我到安检口, I love u, take care, will call u, be good, kisses... blah blah... 我得进去了, 他也得快走, 违章停车被抓到, 又要罚1万5. 到boarding gate, 正好赶上登机, 2个半小时后, 我终于回到东京, 松了一口气.

第二天, 上班, 眼睛浮肿, 外带轻度感冒.