you maybe too young to understand what is the real nature of family, love, and life. Everything in human society has its roots from natural needs to survive and reproduce, including culture and value system. Life is about struggle between yourself and your fate, not between you and your husband ... That is why our author says, to be clear what your heart really want, then make a decision.
Anyway, it is a very philosophical thought process. There is really no right or wrong on your decision. You can't do "double blinded" testing on your life to see what is a better choice.
this is totally mixing up the issues. Before we "学会放开是幸福的开始", we shall ask ourselves
1. what type of life we want,
2. what a family means to us,
3. waht a 亲情 means to our life
4. what type of love we want and
5. what love means/is
"孩子是自己的
身体是自己的"
This is right.
5135 发表评论于
回复princessannie的评论:
I agree with you. 我不能同意珍妮说的, mixing up issues.
What her husband did and is doing has clearly indicated that he has not 人格, 道德 as a person.
Dealing with this type of person, there is no such thing like "即使是别人错了百分之九十，自己错了百分之十，也要检讨自己的这百分之十，让自己成熟起来".
As a person, you must have your bottom line you stand for that no body can cross it. The way you dealing with the issue will be different due to if the line being crossed.
紫玫 should take a good look of her life and ask herself what she really wants in her life, take care of baby and herself. Then move on.
If you have trouble to picture what I said clearly. This is what happened in natural world, when a new monkey king defeats old king, all female monkeys have no problem to welcome new king, just that this kind of thing happens infrequently, those female monkeys probably thought they were loyal to the old king before life takes an abrupt turn.
longtermInvestor 发表评论于
回复绿色的精灵的评论:
Males are usually "赤脚的", no mistake about it.
Every time when I see ladies publicly contemplate how to publish men to the extreme, the selfishness is exposed completely, shamelessly. I think that could be part of reasons that this type of ladies get the type of husband who is also selfish.
Some ladies would say I would never betray my husband, that maybe true. But it is not that you ladies are better in qualities, it is just that you have the advantage of being a female, your genes are helping you out. On the other hand, we heard a lot of story about Chinese men being “运输大队长” bringing wife from mainland to only lose her to other better males. So the inner drive of female to look for better genes is working around the clock too. Maybe you ladies will disguise it as we come across "true love". If you live longer enough, you will get your next chance to have one more "true love".
Think about it, think it through, what is true love, what is just needs? Are they the same thing?
very few people can really think things through, especially huge stake are involved.
smith34 发表评论于
men are not camel, did u screw with him?
1800900 发表评论于
回复longtermInvestor的评论:
"Think about it, think it through" - 废话.
yimei1926 发表评论于
真妮说得很对,照她建议的去做。孩子和你的身体最重要, 那种的男人不值得操心，保重!
longtermInvestor 发表评论于
First focus on your baby, of course.
As for your husband, it depends on what kind of person your husband really is. If he is mean to his family member, friends or his colleagues, he would not be too nice to you sooner or latter.
If your husband is not a grown up, let him take the full responsibility to raise children, the responsibility will occupy most of his time, it will force him to grow up. Then let him to make a clear cut choice.
I am a male, I understand that males have the inner drive to please all females to increase the chance to spread his genes. Females has the inner drive to pick a better gen to give to her offspring. So both males and females break some rules from time to time. These kind of things are not that important on themselves, but how to deal with them somehow determine weight of those things on your life. Think about it, think it through。
I want to add one more comment on the top of what you stated:
Seh should figure out if her husband is that type of person without 道德 and 人格 before she does what you suggested below:
"你说你们恋爱时相处得很好，婚后就变得吵闹不休了，想想原因在哪里。我们要从挫折中成长，汲取经验教训。即使是别人错了百分之九十，自己错了百分之十，也要检讨自己的这百分之十，让自己成熟起来。指责别人的错误于事无补，只有改正自己的问题才会让自己受益"
