Chapter 58
Zhang Yunxuan stayed in his study room, and called Yan’s office. It was Director Yan who received the call. After greetings, Zhang suggested visiting his home in the afternoon. Yan thought for a second, and agreed to meet him at 2 p.m. on Sunday.
Yan thought Zhang must be facing some dilemma, or he would not be anxious to meet him, and the meeting place was his home. The present situation was unfavorable to Zhang, given the cases of the grenade and his wife’s conflicts with the public security office. Yan was aware of the Communist discipline. He had to ask the leadership for ratification first. According to his experience, he should get as much support as possible from all his superiors, or he would be condemned as conspiring with reactionaries. Thus, Yan told the Provincial Communist Secretary about his idea. The latter ratified his idea, asking him to make Zhang support the revolutionary work.
It was not easy for Yan to have such a leisurely Sunday. In the morning, he told his children, Yan Yuan and Li Li, that they were going to the
Guo asked, “You are busy with your work. How come…?”
Yan cast a glance at his wife, saying, “Zhang will come here at 2 p.m. this afternoon.”
Guo replied in a puzzled way, “We don’t welcome him.”
Then, Guo’s mom said, “It’s good for guests to come here.”
Guo paid no attention to her mom and asked in a fussing way, “How can you meet a Kuomintang general in person?”
Yan replied in an annoyed way, “This is ratified by the leadership. Why are you making a fuss over it?”
“Haven’t you suffered a lot for such things? That would be an excuse for others to persecute you.”
Yan stood up angrily, glaring at Guo and yelling, “Don’t interfere with my work. Don’t convict me in this way!”
Guo made no response. Her husband was a leader. She was poorly educated, but felt worried about him. He must work, she thought.
Nevertheless, the fine day did bring happiness to the family. Guo helped her mom to get up the summit of the mountain, where there was a Buddhist temple.
Yan Yuan saw a big drum beside a statue of Buddha. He could hardly beat it. Then, he carried his sister and asked her to beat the drum. A monk saw this and stopped them. Yan Yuan wondered why the drum could hardly bring peace and harmony to the society.
The family had a great time in the mountain. It was early winter. The air was fresh. They looked downwards and found the shabby houses and vegetable lands. The city was still poor. It would take a long time to make it better. Yan was happy with the beautiful scene.
On the way back home, Yan Yuan asked his mom, “Who is better, Goddess Guanyin or Buddha?”
Guo replied, “The Communists and Chairman Mao are the best.”
Li Li asked, “Mom, who is greater, the Communists or Chairman Mao?”
Guo replied, “They are both great.”
Yan Yuan, “Which one is greater?”
Guo replied in a serious tone, “As primary school students, you’d better not ask such questions.”
Yan made faces and walked ahead of them. He was aware that Guo, like most other people, only knew Chairman Mao as the greatest, and they had no view by themselves. Like most Chinese women, she was honest but not smart.
Guo found Yan’s facial expressions. She was annoyed, thinking that she was educating the kids in a right way.
Guo thought herself a veteran revolutionary. Although she did manual work most of the time, she thought she was making great contributions to the Chinese revolution. Her husband was well educated, but if he had not taken the right side in the Futian Event, he would not have become a revolutionary.
When Guo was about 10, her mom told her, “Your cousin Yan Zhengfu will be your husband. We have made the arrangement. If you’re free, please help your aunt about.”
She obeyed her mom’s word, and even rescued Yan twice mysteriously.
The first-time rescue happened two years after the Futian Event. Yan was taken away by the Red Army soldiers from the private school. The news came to his family and his mother fainted. His father had problems with his legs. He was aware that his son might be in danger. They were both worried.
That day Guo came back from the fields. She was shocked at the news. She was 15, and knew she was about to marry her cousin. She must rescue Yan, she thought. She went to yan’s house, and his father told her to rescue his son from the soviet office.
With her father-in-law’s expectation she appeared before the soviet office. She cried for letting Yan go. Her presence attracted some schoolchildren and parents. They all felt angry for the arresting of the private school teacher.
A villager said, “Cry here and you’ll have support.”
Another one said, “Your fiancé is not a member of
“They have been killing these days. Watch out for their execution at midnight.”
Guo was aware of the danger and kept waiting before the soviet office for her fiancé.
Less than a day passed. Then, at dawn, she heard a familiar voice, “Where are you taking me?” Why do you push me this way?” She woke up and found her fiancé. She went up, and told them, “He is my would-be husband. Do you want to kill him?” She cried, “Why do the Communists kill the teacher of the poor? Why do the Communists kill a common person?”
She hugged Yan. A soldier came and tried to drag her away. She kept crying, “Don’t kill him. If you do want to kill him, kill me as well.”
Some villagers were woken up. They surrounded the two Red Army soldiers.
Someone shouted, “Don’t kill the innocent person!”
Another one screamed, “Don’t kill the teacher of the kids.”
A third one protested, “Why not kill the Kuomintang soldiers but the poor?”
There were noises before the soviet office. Li Shaojiu, the leader responsible for anti-reactionary work, came. He asked about the situation, and decided to set Yan free.
The second-time rescue was somehow heartbreaking.
In 1942, there was an anti-reactionary campaign in Yan’an. Some people accused Yan of being a member of
“Why do you beat me so heavily?”
The man replied, “The Communists beat bad people.”
Yan said, “I’m a Communist and your comrade. I am innocent.”
The man said, “How can you be innocent? If you’re innocent, you won’t be here. You look timid. You must be a Kuomintang agent.”
Yan protested, “I am not a Kuomintang agent. You beat me too hard. Even my parents did not beat me this way.”
The man said, “Look! How couldn’t the poor people’s children tolerate such pains? Ask if there are any Communists who have not been beaten.”
The more painful he felt, the more the people beat him. They tortured him with all kinds of instruments. He groaned and had to admit anything the others charged him with. At last, he was forced to write a note of confession. The man who beat him said:
“You’re a Kuomintang agent for sure. You have no strong will like the Communists. The other people could bear the treatment for three days here.” He looked at the sky, asking, “How many hour have you stayed here?”
Yan was angry. He wondered how that man would react if he were given such a treatment. What a silly and bad man!
Guo was told the other day that her fiancé was assigned with a mission in another place, but a woman secretary released to her by accident that he was sent to prison. Guo got worried and wandered before the gate of the prison from time to time. The other people persuaded her to leave the prison, but she declined. Then, the wife of a leader told her that maybe she should ask the leadership for help. Guo thought the advice correct.
It was a Saturday night. Many leaders went out for social dance. Guo cooked nice dishes for the leader she worked for. She placed the dishes on the table. When the leader began to eat, he found her kneeling down before him. He asked, “What has happened to you?”
She held the leader’s legs, murmuring, “Please, sir, save my fiancé.”
“Guard!” The leader put down his bowl and shouted. The guard came in, and dragged Guo out. But she still held his legs, pleading, “Sir, I know you are kind-hearted. Please help me!”
Guo’s face was red with sweat, and her breasts pressed hard against the leader’s legs. He got excited. He asked the guard to stop dragging her, saying, “Alright. I’ll not go out for dance tonight. I’d like to know the truth from her.” Then, the guard saluted to the leader, closed the door and went out.
The cave was quiet. Even the basketball court outside was quiet. Many people were dancing in another place. Guo placed her head on the leader’s knees. She felt a pair of warm hands touching and caressing her neck. The leader touched her face, and stared at her. Then, he looked at her hands, praising them.
Guo was delighted at the praise. She had never been touched by any man before in this way. She felt comfortable with the touches. She held the leader’s hands boldly, begging:
“Sir, Yan Zhengfu is an honest man and a real revolutionary. Please save him!”
The leader still touched her, asking, “How can he be your man? You do not stay together, and have not held a wedding.”
She replied, “I have been arranged to be his wife since I was conceived by my mom.”
“But he seems not to care much about you.”
Guo said in coy way, “But I will be his wife. We’ll get married.”
“This means that you have not touched him.”
“No. We have not even touched hands with each other.”
The leader got excited. This 25-year-old girl was a virgin! He was a revolutionary, but he longed for the first night with a woman. This idea had been planted in his mind.
Guo thought the leader a great man. He was scholarly and looked gentle. She was an ordinary woman without much education. He stared at her with passions.
He touched and caressed her. He wanted to protect her. Guo would like to save her fiancé by sacrificing herself.
The leader’s hands extended from her face to her neck, and then he caught her breasts and squeezed them. She felt excited. The leader held her on his laps. She was close to him and could feel his breath. She was fascinated and had no desire to resist his actions. Then, his lips pressed onto hers. She begged again, “Dear sir, please save my man!”
The leader answered, “Ok.” Then, he carried her inside. There was a bed there. He took off her clothes and let her lie there naked. Then she saw him take off his own clothes. She got shy and covered her face with a pillow. She felt the leader touching her breasts and vagina. Something wet came out of the vagina. Guo saw the leader put a sheet of white paper under her bottoms. He pressed himself on her and inserted his penis into her vagina.
She felt something painful. She pushed him away. Gosh! He said. And sperms rushed out of him. He pressed himself on her again. She could smell scallion from his mouth. The music of dance drifted in from far away. The leader might be dancing with a pretty girl if she did not ask him for help, she thought.
Soon, the leader’s penis erected again. He turned her face around, saying, “Comrade Guo, please don’t shout, or behave wildly!” He seemed to be telling her that this was not so painful as a real battle.
Then, Guo kept calm, and the man began to act again. All of a sudden, he shouted joyfully. She knew her virginity was lost.
The leader found blood under her bottoms. He was happy. He sent her out, and told her facing the guard, “Your report is right. Comrade Yan should be released. Please feel assured.”
Three days later, Yan was released, limping all the way. She went to meet him, and they went to the leader, who said, “Comrade Yan, you have undergone a revolutionary test. Great!”
She helped Yan return to the cave where he stayed. Yan kicked a date tree by him, cursing, “Fuck you! Why don’t you have such a test!”
Guo was aware that her sacrifice and the leader’s help played an important role in this matter.
Yan was not happy. He got quiet, and even wanted to leave the revolutionary team. He was sorry to see so many revolutionary men tortured and so many leaders hugging pretty women in social dance. Was that the way for revolution? He wondered.
Yan was painful those days. Guo accompanied him, and served him with tea and food. But Yan did not mention their marriage.
On winter night, all the others left. Only Guo and Yan stayed there. She helped him stand up and go to the toilet. She felt his penis hard. She had had experience in such things now. But she pretended not to know it, asking:
“What has happened to you? Something hard is in your trousers.”
He held his trousers tightly, replying, “Nothing! Stay away from me.”
She helped him sit on the bed, whispering, “Let me see what’s wrong with you. Then I’ll leave.”
He lay on the bed, urging her, “Go away!”
She took his penis boldly, saying, “Let me have a look and see why.”
He got excited, replying, “Come to my bed.”
Yan did not act in a sophisticated way like the leader. His acts were mechanical and not romantic.
That night, she lay by him. The next afternoon, Yan began to realize something. He took off the blanket, asking, “Where is the blood?”
Guo replied, “What blood?”
“Your blood.”
Guo answered in an annoyed way, “Do you want to see it? Too late!”
Yan saw their pants hanging in the clod wind. He moved his head in a pitiful way.
Then, Guo got pregnant with Yan Yuan. She was not sure if her son was Yan’s or the leader’s. If she gave birth in October, the son would be Yan’s. If she gave birth in September, the son would be the leader’s. But Yan Yuan was born in August. That puzzled her. The midwife said it was an early delivery. In fact, Guo had hoped that the son was the leader’s. The leader was a great, wise and resourceful man, she thought.
That was the marriage between Guo and Yan. She was little-educated. That might be the reason why he looked down on her. She became a leader, and she had to sign her name from time to time. Then, she asked her son and daughter to teach her to write her name.
Guo was puzzled about education. Her husband got good education, but had been tortured twice almost fatally. She did not have much education, but she did her job well. This society was odd in her eyes. She was happy with the life and the Communists.
Now, Guo found Yan’s contemptuous gaze again. He was going to meet the Kuomintang general this afternoon. He would be a better Communist if he had not had much education, she thought.
