今天没去上班,头有点晕,因为昨晚秉烛夜写email来着.
起因是昨天在单位与一个伊朗(男的)co-worker 吵了一架. 起因很无聊,就是因为办公室的门.我要关上,他要开.我们的办公室是一室一厅.因为我是女的,两个男同事在里屋,我在外屋.中间有一道门,外面的门离我很近. 整个走廊有很多办公室. 3 个原因我坚持关上我们的大门(通往走廊的那个).1.走廊吵,影响我工作2. 感觉冷3. 万圣节要到了,对面的office门上贴了一张巨大的穷凶极恶的骷髅拿了把大刀.烧水或洗手,总是能看到那个恶心得图像. 现在是备孕阶段,不想接触太多的暴力.
伊朗男的原因只有一个,空气不流通,他不能呼吸,要死了.
最终达成的agreement, 我开个门缝,他调高温度.但是我们谁也不理谁,很僵持. 为了缓和矛盾,我写了一封巨长的email, 算是和解信吧.
下面是原稿,没改动过的.一会发的时候,也许可能会做一些调整.没定呢.
Hello Exxxx,
How are you today? Any surprise for receiving my email. I don’t know how did you feel yesterday after our fight, but I was feeling it bothers me too much, which directly causes me not felling well physically today. I think we’d better settle this thing down now. At least me, I won’t enjoy unpleasant working environment, especially both of us will still work there in the next couple years.
I remember when I prepare an interview, a typical HR question ‘How do you handle the conflict between you and your co-workers’. When I did the preparation, I always thought it will never happen to me; so about what happened yesterday, it was a big shock to me. Congratulations! You are the first person made me so mad in the past twenty years. I have been voted the best temper person among all my friends, family, classmates…
As you know, my top strength is ‘Harmony’, so let me first kick out.
To be honest, Exxx, you are a nice man. In the past one year, we did help each other in the work. I really appreciated your nice and patient. We can work closely, and both of us enjoy working together. Yesterday’s fight is just about a poor door. Actually, it is not a big deal, both of us know that. Close it, you won’t die, and you are only fighting for who has the power to control it. Don’t deny it in hurry. It is the fact.
But for me, I am really only concern the door not to your personally. (1.) I am a statistician. When I am programming, I need concentrate all the time. But the noise from hallway bothers me a lot. You can count these people who are working on computer programming coding, theirs’ door always closed. Pxxx and Mxxx’s office, in 6th floor, EBI group, also Hxxx’s IS group in ground floor. We are not the front desk, doing the administration job. (2) I feel cold in my office, that is why I sneeze a lot, and I do not think you did not hear it. The fact is your office is warmer than mine, since the heater is in your office, when you feel ok temperature, I will feel cold. Here I also should count woman is more sensitive and easy to feel the temperature changes. (3) About the scarring picture on our neighbor’s door, I am planning having a baby, so I do not want to see any violent pictures or scenes during this important period. I am sure all the moms will do the same thing to protect their babies. Thank you for understanding my reasons to close the door.
You said loudly many times about you cannot breathe and will die. Ok let me save your life and avoiding you die soon. I will let the door at least open some part for making you can breathe. Don’t die, if you die, your family will miss you for sure.
After work, I think over this whole story. I think we are luck Wxxx was not there, otherwise, this fight will become an ‘Incident’ (QI language), which at least now is ‘near miss’. Get this thought, because I can feel Sxxx’s efforts to protect our group. We should keep a good reputation for our group too. However, you already told everybody in IM about this ‘near miss’, Aha, please just ignore this paragraph.
So far, from my wording you can see, I already pull my hand first, so I hope you can pull yours, then we can shaking hands as a good ending for this story.
By the way, you mentioned many times ‘I am playing games’ yesterday. For we can get along with each other in the future, it is better let you know a little bit more of myself. I don’t want to judge the ‘door’ thing, but this part, you are totally wrong. I never played or will play games with you. I consider it is wasting time and energy. I don’t like make things complicated than it should be. Being simple, straight is my principle. If play games is part of your life, please continue enjoy it, but not apply this to everybody around you.
I hope above all my analysis and explanation make you feel better. From next Monday, I hope we can skip this fight, continue our good pleasant working relationship as before. If you need a deep talk, I will be open for that. Any thoughts please let me know. I know it is really long long email, longer than most of our working email. I hope it will help us recreating enjoyable working environment.
Last thought just jumped into my mind. Most people in my hometown and here Canada, like to pretend to be gentle to woman, especially educated man. You give me a lesson to realize that is not all. In the future, I will keep this message in my mind.
[Last thought just jumped into my mind. This fight might due to our different culture background. China and Iran are two total different countries, especially woman’s position in the society. In Asia, big city educated man always play gentlemen role to prove the civilization level; at least they love to pretend to be gentle to woman. When I move to North America, I found the gentlemen’s percentage even higher than in Asia. Probably, I used to it. I should open my mind for this point. I am sorry for automatically grouping you with them. In the future, I will keep this message in my mind.]--- 这段该了后才发的.老公说发了会激发民族矛盾,小心恐怖事件发生.防患于未然
That is all I want to say. Have a great weekend and see you next Monday with happy face!
Linan
