从frustration中教孩子人生

儿子这个礼拜的家庭作业之一是记住一首诗。诗并不长，只有半页纸。但对不喜欢记忆和不善于记忆的儿子来讲，依然是一项挑战。

礼拜一拿到了任务，告诉老爸说：要到礼拜四才检查。别着急，我能对付。

老爸只能放他一马，不值得每天都为这种事情打架吧。但老爸说，你还是读几遍吧，不然会记不住的。儿子嘴里答应着，脑子却在他的游戏上了。

礼拜二小人儿开始用功了。一遍一遍，十几遍过去了，可还是记不住。开始着急了：“Dad, I can't remember it！”

老爸在旁边笑笑：“You forget how you remember your piano recital piece? Try a few times, and then go on for something else, then come back to try again. You have to do this circle for 3-5 times everyday.”

礼拜三老爸下班，儿子汇报：“I tried even in the school。 I get half done by now. I will get the next half memorized before I go to bed.”

呵呵，吃了饭，要随妈妈出门玩一个小时，回来又急了。还是记不住。老爸让他先洗澡，清醒一下，再开始。每一个循环，总给儿子中间一点时间转移注意力。十来 个循环赛下来，儿子宣布记住了，就开始看电视。九点了，到了快上床的时间，老爸提醒一下，儿子又开始一个循环。但中间一句怎么也记不住：“It's too hard, dad.”眼泪都快出来了。

老爸说：“睡觉吧，明天早晨还有时间呢。”人家说不行，万一记不住，就只能是B-了。老爸哑然失笑：“Listen, son. Like your Taekwondo, memorizing something takes time. It takes you 4 months to go up one belt level. So you have to be patient. The lesson you learned from this and Taekwondo is very clear--There are some skills to learn so you can master something faster. However, in most cases, it is the time you spend that counts the most. If you had 

started on Monday, you might have been much better by now. So you should take this as a lesson, too. Don‘t always say later, later,and later. You have worked hard for the last 2 days, so you can tell you that you have tried your hardest. If you don't memorize it tomorrow in your classroom, it is fine to get a B-. You know, in our life, there are always somethings we want to achieve, but no matter how hard we try, we may not get it. So as long as you have tried your hardest, you should be proud of yourself even you did not reach your goal. Good night and have a nice dream."

儿子依然上好了闹钟。今天6点半就起床，边吃早饭边记。到老爸送他上校车时，小人儿说终于记住了。


唉，教孩子掌握这个分寸，懂得什么时候要”推“自己，什么时候要学会”放弃“真不是一件容易的事。

(二0一0年二月四日）