"It's awesome being a guy." But are you necessary?
Recently, I asked the question, "Do Nerds Rule?--The Curious Case of Peter Orszag." I analyzed the love life of the head of the Office of Management and the Budget who left his wife and children for a girlfriend with whom he had a child before he left her to become engaged to a glamorous TV reporter. My analysis relied on a mix of Jane Austen, evolutionary psychology, and sexual dimorphism. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe nerds rule simply because there are fewer of them.
I am led to these thoughts by an article in today's New York Times, "The New Math on Campus." On average, U.S. college campuses are 57 percent female. The article focused on the University of North Carolina, which exceeds that average--women are 60 percent of the student body. Some colleges, such as the College of Charleston, are even more imbalanced at 66 percent. And at the University of Vermont, which has a piddling 55 percent, they call the town it's in not Burlington but Girlington.
When I was on the faculty of Mount Holyoke College, still one of the few all-female colleges, the party line was that single sex schools allow women to study in a non-distracting environment, and give them the opportunity for leadership roles normally reserved for men.
Maybe all colleges are trending in the direction of Mount Holyoke, Smith, and Wellesley, but at the University of North Carolina, the burning question for women is not, "How do I become editor of the school newspaper," but, "How do I get a date on Saturday night?"
The reasons for the imbalance range from higher grades for women, a higher proportion of men entering the work force directly out of college, and poor academic preparation among minority male students.
Among African Americans and Latinos for whom the balance is even greater than among non-minorities, there has long been a complaint about how there are only a few good men. Many minority women go on to have the added burden of being labeled ethnic turncoats for dating white men.
In the Ivy League schools, which have more gender balance, boys are even viewed with suspicion. "Did he get in her with lower grades than I had because they wanted a balance?" This echoes a complaint from Jewish students of a previous generation--for whom there was an explicit quota, and of Asian students of today--for whom the quota may be more subtle.
At the University of North Carolina, the Times article indicated that the scarcity of men is related to its lack of an engineering school, an field of study that remains a male bastion--an admission that nerds do rule, but would rule less if there were fewer of them.
As one female student in the Times article put it, "Out of that 40 percent, there are maybe 20 percent that we would consider, and out of those 20, 10 have girlfriends, so all the girls are fighting over that other 10 percent."
The consequences for the social life of women from the both the relationship and sexual points of view are a male fantasy--a libidinal male fantasy.
At UNC and other campuses, women are more likely to the initiative in approaching men, and many have to accept the idea that if they have a boyfriend the odds are greater that he will be unfaithful. For men, it is more sex. Many live a social life of one-night stands, moving from one woman to the next, and many women feel pressured in moving too fast sexually. Men are also likely not to try to hard. If you do get a date, forget about your beau dressing well, or greeting you with a bouquet of flowers.
Sex aside, many women give up, and plunge themselves not into the arms of a man but into studying. It's standing room only at the library on Saturday night--which is that whole Mount Holyoke idea.
Ironically, the situation for the young at college campuses is a leading indicator of what many experience in old age. I work at nursing homes, assisted living centers, and retirement communities where men are even more of a minority. At retirement communities (as opposed to nursing homes where the residents are more frail), if you are a man, you can have the time of your life at the end of your life.
Will the current college scene have an effect on relationships in general?
Men are already labeled as shallow in relationships, afraid of commitment, and interested in only one thing. Will the experiences for men--and women--at colleges create a lifetime of expectations of transient, serial relationships?
Or will the takeaway be more profound?
Will women finally get it into their heads that men are unnecessary--except maybe for engineering?
Will we men evolve to a role of solely being depositors in a universal sperm bank? And, once the deposits are high, will we be eliminated as unnecessary? Will the remaining women select to have only daughters--except when they need to replenish the sperm supply?
Will we take comfort only from knowing sperm will always outnumber eggs?
The evolutionary paradigm has been that, aside from sperm, men are necessary for controlling resources and protecting the family.
But in these post-modern times, who needs men?
