Unfortunately, I have to say that you went through the troubles totally unnecessary.
First of all, you probablly has not had regular dental check up for a while, you should get cleaning every 6 months, and establish your care and relationship with your trusted dentist. So the dentist can detect the cavity before it is too late. Cleaning is usually covered 100% by your dental insurance. Basic care such as tooth extraction and filling, you pays 20%. You seems have developed dental abscess, infection involved to your nerve. Though it is extremely painful, but still as low level medical emergency in ER, your are not priority patient in ER, that is why you will wait there forever. If you have a regular dentist, you can call the office 24/7 (answering service will take your message), the dentist will call you back and call in antibiotic and pain killer till infection get under control-usually 10 days, then schedule for root canal and crowm ( both procedure you have to pay 50%, you probably have to pay at $800-1000 depends on which tooth.
I can't emphasize more about dental cleaning. Not only you will have horrible mouth odor and staining, but big price to pay later. In this country, dental hygiene directly reflect your education level and social status.
2ndary. do you have a primary care physician? You can contact your PCP for this situation and totolly help you out with one call and direct to the right direction.
ER is for true emergency or uninsured poor population. You went to the wrong place, suffered anxiety and unnecessary pain. Plus, don't think that urgent care nurse did not realize you lied and they just didn't point out at your face. Established patient should have record and you made up some fake visit, they will mistake you as a drug addict, try to get pain killer, etc.
You have a family, and should learn how to seek medical care in this country.
Hope it will help you.