For some reason, I am afraid that what you are trying to “preach” here, in essence, seems giving no real substantial advantage than the dogmas other popular authors advocate yet denounced by you in your article. In my humble opinion, although your arguments may occupy a higher political ground apparently in terms of generating some alluring sound bite, your proposed solutions might actual do little real services to those women who are seeking true happiness and satisfaction in their lives, relationship, marriages and social mobility.
In your eyes, women’s independence is THE factor to preordain women’ contentment and fate, providing them with wisdom, self-esteem, grace, charm as you indicated, then in turn, delivering all they may desire. Really ? is that simple ? I beg to differ. I think women’s independence in social, political and financial realms may indeed pave the road and facilitate many women to reach their potentials, getting handsome rewards and gratifications than that otherwise. However, to claim that independence is the only viable answer to a complex objective (which would often be very subjective to each female's interpretation at different stage of her life) might oversimplify the real issue not to mention the possibility of exposure to an unsustainable hope.
I am not sure if that you have heard about Gloria Steinem, a radical, militant styled women's Liberation activist. Once she said “Women need men like a fish needs a bicycle.” Which suggests men are expendable to women’s need and satisfaction. She believed once women receive their equalities and independences from the society, they would be contented perpetually. Yet, the long history of women’s liberation has rendered her prediction as inclusive and premature at the best. The irony was that a well-known feminist like Gloria Steinem who repeatedly pointed out the unfairness of married women and proclaimed “marriage was the model for slavery law in this country" during her advocacy career finally joined marriage institution she was furiously against. Even she tried very hard to love his husband, Unfortunately, her husband, David Bale died few years later from cancer.
The point I’d like to make is that chanting the slogans or declaring the easy solution to women’s better life may be easy to say then done. Single recipe or formula approach may actually do harm than help, in worst case scenario, it could even blindfold many seekers to the “slaughter house.”
In my mind, each woman is different and unique in her own way; so to find the happiness deserves, she may need to work hard in multiple dimensions including compromising and collaborating with her man kindly and compassionately. Many time she may have to keep refining her strategies at different points to pursue her own happiness or address her needs in her relationship or marriage or career. In other words, maintaining the independence may be a part of the equation rather the whole resolution or a done-deal.
In my mind, there might be no a-one-size -fits-all formula for every woman when it comes to happiness even many still believe there is.
Not mean to depress any one here, like it or not, some women or men to that matter in this world may never be truly happy because of personality and some other constraints placed onto her or him no matter what may have been done. It is just a fact of life, it may be cruel and unfair, but that how it goes.
I also like to point out that I do agree with you belief that each woman should go after her individual destination and content, but I’d respectfully disagree with your final conclusion derived from your premises laid before that, which I found are lack of convincing supports to the conviction.
I’d like to apologize to you in advance just in case my views may offend you or others. In the meantime, I do appreciate your time and efforts to share your thoughts with us, inviting a discussion for presenting different voices.
lindazhang 发表评论于
现在的女人那个不自力？那个男人肯养活女人？又不是旧社会女人可以靠男人！
temptemp 发表评论于
回复PrincetonNJ的评论:
I don't think so.
those women have no self - respect, extremely insecure, which is not their fault. I blame the 封建 from long chinese histroy. 废话 gave a very good explanation.
temptemp 发表评论于
THANK YOU, 废话. you siad what I want to say but don't know how to put into words.
temptemp 发表评论于
回复PrincetonNJ的评论:
i doublt it, read these:
笨女人与聪明女人的较量 - by 林韵的世界
女生需要四种气质才能可爱 - by 秋天
(sorry I can't type chinese here.)
WTF!
temptemp 发表评论于
absolutely!
thank you. finally someone is really smart here.
I really can't stand their thought about how a woman should behave in a relationship, it is so disgusting.
