ZT 笑话三则

--感谢知音朋友们并祝来年风调雨顺少些坎坷！
 
1 Four Psychiatrists
 
After attending a conference on professional ethics, four psychiatrists walked out together. One said, “You know, people are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one to go to with our problems. So why don’t we take some time right now to hear each other out?” The other three agreed.
 
The first psychiatrist said, “I have an almost uncontrollable desire to kill my patients.”
The second psychiatrist said, “I find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I can.”
The third followed with, “I’m involved in selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them for me.”

The fourth psychiatrist then confesses, “You know, no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to keep a secret.”

2 Two Close Friends

Two close friends live under one roof. The male friend is concerned that the female friend is losing her hearing, so he consults a doctor. The doctor suggests that he try a simple at-home test on her: Stand behind her and ask her a question, first from twenty feet away, next from ten feet, and finally right behind her.

So the man goes home and sees the female friend in the kitchen facing the stove.
 
He says from the door, “What’s for dinner tonight?”No answer.

Then ten feet behind her, he repeats, “What’s for dinner tonight?”Still no answer.
 
Finally, behind her he says, “What’s for dinner tonight?”
And she turns and says, “For the third time—chicken!”

3 Colorful Wishes

Three friends are killed in a car accident and meet up at an orientation session in Heaven. The celestial facilitator asks them what they would most like to hear said about themselves as their friends and relatives view them in the casket.
 
The first man says, “I hope people will say that I was a wonderful doctor and a good family man.”

 The second man says, I would like to hear people say that as a schoolteacher I made a big difference in the lives of kids.”

The third man says, “I’d like to hear someone say, ‘Look, he’s moving.”

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