Chapter 27: The Pursuit of Happiness
Mei’s mother liked Dan a lot. He was polite and respectful, even learned a few greetings in Chinese just to be able to communicate with her directly. She could see how Dan cared about Mei and that really brought comfort to ShuLin’s heart.
One night after they came back from the hospital, ShuLin started a pot of water on the stove and sat down next to her daughter. She carefully pulled a strand of hair behind Mei’s ear just like when she was a little girl and looked at her in a way only mothers did: “Mei, Mama is happy for you. I am glad to see you found someone. Dan is a good guy, and I can see he cares about you a lot. I just wish your Dad was able to see this.” The amount of tenderness Mei saw in her mother’s eyes was suddenly too heavy for her to bear. She didn’t know how but the next thing came out of her mouth was: “Ma, how did you know Dad was the one for you?”
ShuLin knew her daughter too well so that question along raised concern: “At my generation love was almost a luxury that not many people could afford. I was lucky that your Dad was a good man, responsible, treated me nice… why did you ask that? Are you not sure about Dan?”
Mei wasn’t surprised that her mother saw right through her uncertainty. For the past few days she had tried very hard to act like Dan was part of her life, but it just did not feel right, something was missing and she really could use some advice right now to help clearing her mind: “I don’t know. He’s great and all and I like him a lot. But I just… I guess maybe I will learn to love him, you know after we are married…”
ShuLin’s looked at her daughter and carefully asked: “Mei, was there someone else?”
Mei was startled at the question, but then thought who else in the world would know her better than her own mother? She let out a helpless sigh: “He’s engaged… There is no future between us. Besides, Dan is the right one for me, he cares about me, he’s stable, responsible, and…”
She was stopped by her mother right there: “Mei, was this the guy that you talked on the phone with?” Mei knew who her mother was referring to and nodded as a yes.
“I see.” ShuLin did not say anything else for a while. The water started boiling over and she went over to turn the stove off and came back out later with two cups of hot tea. She put one on the table in front of Mei and said: “Careful, it is hot. This is your favorite Jasmine tea.”
Mei wrapped her fingers around the hot cup and took a deep breath in of the smell of white Jasmine flower mixed with fresh green tea leaves, all of a sudden she felt a lot better.
“Mei, I am not going to lecture you on what to do, you are a grown woman now.” Shulin slowly took a sip of the hot tea and kept the cup in her hand: “As parents, all your Dad and I wanted was for you to be happy. I know that we have put some pressure on you over the years to get married, and Dan is a good person, but obviously he is not the guy who has your heart. Mama does not know whether the other person was a good match for you, but I do know that it would not be fair to Dan if you marry him for the wrong reason. Maybe you should give this more thought; marriage is certainly not something you should take lightly with.”
“Ma, can’t you just tell me what to do?” Mei was now almost begging; she would feel so much better if someone could just give her an answer.
“What you need to ask yourself is the question of whether the person you are marrying is someone you can learn to live with or someone you cannot live without. I and your Dad trust that we raised a daughter who would make the right decision.” With that ShuLin stood up and walked back to her bedroom, leaving Mei sitting there alone, trying to make the hardest decision in her life.
A week passed by just like that, Mei came over to the hotel to say goodbye before Dan’s departure on the next day. He didn’t want her to drive him to the airport since the flight was at 5 am in the morning. Mei looked at Dan’s luggage, it was neatly packed; he didn’t bring much since it was a short trip. She felt Dan wrapping his arm around her from the back, and his head resting gently on her shoulder: “Mei, everything will be all right. Sorry I couldn’t stay longer…”
Mei put her hands over on his and said: “Dan Thank you, I …”
“You are welcome. You know that I would do anything for you.” Dan meant every word he said, “I hope everything turn out OK and you can come back to me soon. I’d like for you to meet my family as well.”
The thought of meeting Dan’s family suddenly drew Mei closer than ever to the reality of the life ahead, and she found it brought only anxiety instead of comfort into her heart. She knew her mother was right, that this was not fair to Dan and she cared too much about him to put him through it.
Slowly Mei untangled herself from Dan’s arms. She brought Dan over to the sofa and sat down next to him. She tried to find a right way to say it, but failed miserably. Finally she gave up and decided to just let the words come out: “Dan, you are a great man and I care about you a lot…” Immediately she sensed Dan’s fingers tensed up in her hands. She hesitated for a second, but chose to continue on while the courage was still there: “I know how much you love me, and I cannot say how lucky and thankful I am to have you in my life… you will be a great husband, any girl would dream to be your wife…” She was all over the place and still trying to get to what she really wanted to say; at the same time, she saw Dan dropped his head and stared at the floor without any expression.
“Dan… I…” Before Mei could let another word out, Dan slipped his hand out from her grip. She looked up to find him rising up and walking over toward the window. With his eyes looking out into the dark night, he stood there and sighed. Then, a slight smile gradually came up his face which only made him looking even sadder: “Mei, do you know when I first met you at the Sandwich shop, I told myself ‘Dan, you better not mess this up because this is who you have been looking for.’ Every minute I spent with you made me… happy. I loved your smiles, your touches, how you always have to drink water hot, even your habit of having to have things organized in a certain way. I loved talking to you, I felt like I could tell you anything like you were my best friend…”
Mei tried to say something but was stopped by Dan: “Please, let me finish… It might be silly to say but I knew for me it was love at first sight. During the past several months, I kept asking myself what is it that’s been holding me back to ask you to marry me?” He said it in way almost as if he was expecting an answer from her, but then quickly he continued: “That night after your accident I realized what had been missing between us. You have never looked at me the way you did to him…”
Mei didn’t know what to say except trying to not let him hear her sob. Dan turned around and looked at her: “Mei, you know what? You are the second person, Other than Sarah that told me I would be a great husband… but sadly neither of you wanted to be my wife…” he quickly swept over his face with the back of his hand. Dan was now standing in front of the light with his front in the shadow, but Mei didn’t have to see to know that he was wiping away tears.
“I had my heart broken once and I do not want it ever to happen again. I deserve a person that loved me as much as I love her. Thank you, Mei, for being honest with me. And I am sorry to tell you that I don’t believe you and I were going to work out. I love you and I will always do but I believe there is someone else out there for me.”
He came over and they hugged and cried in each other’s arms for a long time. Before Mei left, Dan told her: “I tried, I gave my best and there is nothing to regret for. If I could wish you one thing, I hope you could look back one day and say the same about your own pursuit of happiness.”
