中国妈妈好像不是这样。祖父母的参与是天经地义的,必需的。这样的参与是从怀孕一直到孩子成人。当然尊老爱幼是我们的美德,无可厚诽。每次回到中国,总可以看见祖父母们照顾小朋友 - 公园里有,住宅区里有,更多的是在shopping mall 里。每次看到小朋友在shopping mall 里,我都觉得很不解。很想问问不想让孩子输在起跑线上的妈妈们是否想到孩子己经落后了?有了经济能力很多事可以雇人做。养育下一代必须是亲力亲为。如果你准备投资巨额在教育上,有没有想过最无价的投资其实是从小每一天的关爱和引导。比如餐桌礼节,clean after yourself, address people appropriately, 耐心,爱心。 最重要的是从小明白没有谁是可以不努力就可以有收获的。Too many kids are expected to be served and taking cared of. That's just absurd!
我不止一次听到这样的话:"我没耐心,让爷爷奶奶(保母)去管吧!" 实在让人伤心。 我算是在美国的中国妈妈,因为来的时候刚过 legal drinking age. 所以也就学习了美国妈妈的方法。诚实的讲,每次听到我的妯娌们快乐的把孩子交出去,and either continued their career or able to take off traveling at moment's notice because there is grandparents to take care of the kids, I felt resentful.
我很累, 事业也要放一放。但是孩子们很不错。好像至少现在他们懂得 they need to help around the house and work hard to get what they want. The life they grow up with may not necessary be what they can expect to live when they are on their own.
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American grandparents also help to raise children, depends on how close they live.
I've seen grandmothers taking care of babies, including taking them to baby music
classes, napping, feeding and so on. One grandma takes care two grandkids from her two daughters. Who can say American grandparents do nothing for the second generation.
My husband was raised by both his parents and maternal grandma. No kidding. Grandma made the most memorable dishes for the family, looked after all four of her grandkids until they went to college. Now it's the two granddaughters taking care of her!