十年前的一个风雪天, 我去墓地探望一位陌生的守灵者, 后来在博克中写下这样一篇文章>
http://blog.wenxuecity.com/myblog/32546/200801/13546.html
今天这位老人终于走到了尽头. 他的事迹多家媒报道, 感人至深.
他走了,与她的心爱的人永远在一起. 这个美丽的故事划上了一个句号: Rocky 走好!
雪地里的老人
今年的雪花格外早恋大地。距感恩节还有两周，波城内外银装素裹，寒冬的帏幕迫不及待地拉开。清晨起来，望着窗外一夜雪触景生情：“随风潜入夜，润物细无声”。瞬间，漂流的思绪突然凝固在空间的视野里。此时此刻，我多么想拜访一位令我不解、难以置信的高龄老人。我驱车向离家只有五分钟远的墓地园驶去。是他！在那无数座连绵起伏的白色丘堆之中，我再一次目睹了这位老人的异彩：他像一颗青松，苍翠挺拔，迎风傲霜；他像一块顽石，刚硬坚实，不畏严寒。他的名字叫ROQUE，人们叫他“ROKEY”，今年88岁。十一年前，ROCKY的老伴JULITA因患心脏病，手术治疗无效，不幸去世，终年75岁，葬于WEST ROXBORY ST. JOSEPH’S CEMETERY。葬礼后的第七天，ROCKY望着风雨交加的黑夜，悲伤至极。一声雷鸣，唤醒了ROCKY的思维。“我不能把JULITA 独自一人 留在荒外. .她是孤独的.。一个人真正的死亡是世上没有人再会想到他（她），JULIETA没有死，她在我的心里。” 从第二天起，ROCKY每日乘坐清晨MBTA Bus 39路转37路，然后步行8个BLOCKS来到ST. JOSEPH墓地。“JULIA，I AM HERE。YOU ARE PART OF ME，SO HERE I AM WHOLE。”ROCKY习惯性的问候后，便静静地坐在墓穴边，直到下午太阳落山。“JULIA 明天见”ROCKY怀着难舍难分的心情回到自己的公寓。日复一日，整整十一年。ROCKY现在居住的公寓里仍然保持着JULITA生前所有的一切。冰箱里放着十一年前JULIA做的PIZZA，桌上有JULITA日用的餐具，窗台上摆着JULITA生前的照片——她蓝色的眼睛，黑色的卷发披肩而下。”SHE WAS PURE LOVE。HER BEAUTY WAS A GIFT APART，A REWARD”。ROCKY说JULITA时格外动情。ROCKY和JULITA结婚55周年。青年时，他们相遇在一家咖啡馆内。充满青春活力的ROCKY对美丽的少女JULITA一见钟情。直到今天ROCKY仍然清楚地记得他们FIRST KISS的日子是SEPT.16，1937年。婚后他们相亲相爱，育有一儿一女。儿子ROCQUEJR现住在麻州，女儿ANGELA住在夏威夷，共有五个孙儿和孙女。ROCKY虽已年迈，却从不依靠儿女，至今仍独立生活。儿女们对ROCKY的守墓，从不理解到深深地敬佩。在JULITA的墓穴边，ROCKY不断地记录着往事的回忆，一页页的手稿里倾诉着ROCKY对妻子深深的爱：“这是我的家”。ROCKY没有悲伤，充满着幸福。他的言谈有说有笑，在荒凉的墓穴园里让你感受着这个“家”的概念。我留意着这个小小的“家”：一把风吹日晒的折叠椅子，一把退了色的雨伞，一顶草帽。一块淡红色的石碑，上半部刻着JULITA的名字和出生到死亡的日期，下半部刻着ROCKY的名字和生日期，留下半行空缺填写一个将来。显然这是一个夫妻合穴，有情人生死相依，永不分离。总有一天，ROCKY也会安息在此，与他的JULITA共度天上人间！ JULITA的墓地与众不同。盛开着的美丽的鲜花、万圣节的南瓜、迎风飘扬的彩旗、精巧的彩灯装饰着这个不寻常的“家”。远处的一棵枫树上挂着一串风铃，悦耳动听，在宁静的万物中敲响这生命的赞歌。在墓地里， ROCKY不饮不食，他谢绝了我特意带给他的一杯热水，将一块中国月饼和两个桔子放在口袋里带回家。他告诉我：一是出于对JULITA的尊重；二来减少不必要的上厕所。 ROCKY的故事引起了许多过路人的关注。巡逻的警察，墓地的工作人员，来来往往的行人，许多成了ROCKY的朋友。“他是一位良师益友，是世界上最有感情、最忠实的爱情侠者。”人们给予ROCKY许多的赞美。ROCKY是一位幽默的老人，他讲述了一位月下老人穿针引线的事情：LINDA是NEEDHAM SCHOOL的数学老师，常来这里和ROCKY聊天，并向ROCKY学习西班牙语。当LINDA表示感谢时，ROCKY总是笑着说：“TWO DOLLAR CHARGE。 ”JOHN TOBIN是墓地工作人员，寒冷的冬天为老人送来了毯子护腿。双方人到中年却都没有结婚。ROCKY巧妙地安排俩人在JULITA墓前相会。一年后， 当他们走向婚姻的大殿时，送给ROCKY一封深情的感谢信，里面夹着“$2”。一位禁烟屡屡失败的青年在与ROCKY交谈中，领悟到生命的价值，将最后一包烟捣毁在JULITA的墓前。 ROCKY像一根燃烧的蜡烛，温暖着JULITA，温暖着许许多多陌生的朋友，也赢得了人间的爱。每次圣诞节前， ROCKY总会收到素不相识的朋友送来的礼物，最多的是防寒服、围巾、手套、帽子。2000年10月，BOSTON SUNDAY GLOBE和NEW YORK TIMES分别报道了这个动人的真实故事。2001年4月23日是ROCKY 85岁生日，当时届任总统克林顿夫妇和波士顿市长THOMAS MENINO亲自书信祝贺ROCKY 85周岁生日寿辰。这一天美国白宫特地送来一份美国国旗升旗荣誉证书：“THIS FLAG WAS FLOWN FOR ROQUE J. J ABULSOM ON THE OCCATION OF HIS 85TH BIRTHDAY。”ROCKY笑了，久经风霜的脸额露着玩童般的可爱。 认识ROCKY老人是我人生感情又一大收获。当邻居杨明劝我去写这个故事时，我还在怀疑它的真实性，甚至猜测这是一位精神忧郁症的症状表现。走近ROCKY，才知道ROCKY是真实的，才相信人世间有这样恒久的爱。十一年悠悠岁月，漫长的路，人生有一知己足矣！ JULIA，你是幸福的。有ROCKY与你相伴，一起看日出，一起赏日落；在朦胧的晨雾里陶醉往日相爱的余温，在沉默的大地里弥漫心语和真诚；在阳光的日子里描绘心情的五彩，在白雪嵦皚的冬眠中期待春天的来临。天堂与人间，千里共婵娟！ 
2004年 11月
今年的雪花格外早恋大地。距感恩节还有两周，波城内外银装素裹，寒冬的帏幕迫不及待地拉开。清晨起来，望着窗外一夜雪触景生情：“随风潜入夜，润物细无声”。瞬间，漂流的思绪突然凝固在空间的视野里。此时此刻，我多么想拜访一位令我不解、难以置信的高龄老人。我驱车向离家只有五分钟远的墓地园驶去。是他！在那无数座连绵起伏的白色丘堆之中，我再一次目睹了这位老人的异彩：他像一颗青松，苍翠挺拔，迎风傲霜；他像一块顽石，刚硬坚实，不畏严寒。他的名字叫ROQUE，人们叫他“ROKEY”，今年88岁。十一年前，ROCKY的老伴JULITA因患心脏病，手术治疗无效，不幸去世，终年75岁，葬于WEST ROXBORY ST. JOSEPH’S CEMETERY。葬礼后的第七天，ROCKY望着风雨交加的黑夜，悲伤至极。一声雷鸣，唤醒了ROCKY的思维。“我不能把JULITA 独自一人 留在荒外. .她是孤独的.。一个人真正的死亡是世上没有人再会想到他（她），JULIETA没有死，她在我的心里。” 从第二天起，ROCKY每日乘坐清晨MBTA Bus 39路转37路，然后步行8个BLOCKS来到ST. JOSEPH墓地。“JULIA，I AM HERE。YOU ARE PART OF ME，SO HERE I AM WHOLE。”ROCKY习惯性的问候后，便静静地坐在墓穴边，直到下午太阳落山。“JULIA 明天见”ROCKY怀着难舍难分的心情回到自己的公寓。日复一日，整整十一年。ROCKY现在居住的公寓里仍然保持着JULITA生前所有的一切。冰箱里放着十一年前JULIA做的PIZZA，桌上有JULITA日用的餐具，窗台上摆着JULITA生前的照片——她蓝色的眼睛，黑色的卷发披肩而下。”SHE WAS PURE LOVE。HER BEAUTY WAS A GIFT APART，A REWARD”。ROCKY说JULITA时格外动情。ROCKY和JULITA结婚55周年。青年时，他们相遇在一家咖啡馆内。充满青春活力的ROCKY对美丽的少女JULITA一见钟情。直到今天ROCKY仍然清楚地记得他们FIRST KISS的日子是SEPT.16，1937年。婚后他们相亲相爱，育有一儿一女。儿子ROCQUEJR现住在麻州，女儿ANGELA住在夏威夷，共有五个孙儿和孙女。ROCKY虽已年迈，却从不依靠儿女，至今仍独立生活。儿女们对ROCKY的守墓，从不理解到深深地敬佩。在JULITA的墓穴边，ROCKY不断地记录着往事的回忆，一页页的手稿里倾诉着ROCKY对妻子深深的爱：“这是我的家”。ROCKY没有悲伤，充满着幸福。他的言谈有说有笑，在荒凉的墓穴园里让你感受着这个“家”的概念。我留意着这个小小的“家”：一把风吹日晒的折叠椅子，一把退了色的雨伞，一顶草帽。一块淡红色的石碑，上半部刻着JULITA的名字和出生到死亡的日期，下半部刻着ROCKY的名字和生日期，留下半行空缺填写一个将来。显然这是一个夫妻合穴，有情人生死相依，永不分离。总有一天，ROCKY也会安息在此，与他的JULITA共度天上人间！ JULITA的墓地与众不同。盛开着的美丽的鲜花、万圣节的南瓜、迎风飘扬的彩旗、精巧的彩灯装饰着这个不寻常的“家”。远处的一棵枫树上挂着一串风铃，悦耳动听，在宁静的万物中敲响这生命的赞歌。在墓地里， ROCKY不饮不食，他谢绝了我特意带给他的一杯热水，将一块中国月饼和两个桔子放在口袋里带回家。他告诉我：一是出于对JULITA的尊重；二来减少不必要的上厕所。 ROCKY的故事引起了许多过路人的关注。巡逻的警察，墓地的工作人员，来来往往的行人，许多成了ROCKY的朋友。“他是一位良师益友，是世界上最有感情、最忠实的爱情侠者。”人们给予ROCKY许多的赞美。ROCKY是一位幽默的老人，他讲述了一位月下老人穿针引线的事情：LINDA是NEEDHAM SCHOOL的数学老师，常来这里和ROCKY聊天，并向ROCKY学习西班牙语。当LINDA表示感谢时，ROCKY总是笑着说：“TWO DOLLAR CHARGE。 ”JOHN TOBIN是墓地工作人员，寒冷的冬天为老人送来了毯子护腿。双方人到中年却都没有结婚。ROCKY巧妙地安排俩人在JULITA墓前相会。一年后， 当他们走向婚姻的大殿时，送给ROCKY一封深情的感谢信，里面夹着“$2”。一位禁烟屡屡失败的青年在与ROCKY交谈中，领悟到生命的价值，将最后一包烟捣毁在JULITA的墓前。 ROCKY像一根燃烧的蜡烛，温暖着JULITA，温暖着许许多多陌生的朋友，也赢得了人间的爱。每次圣诞节前， ROCKY总会收到素不相识的朋友送来的礼物，最多的是防寒服、围巾、手套、帽子。2000年10月，BOSTON SUNDAY GLOBE和NEW YORK TIMES分别报道了这个动人的真实故事。2001年4月23日是ROCKY 85岁生日，当时届任总统克林顿夫妇和波士顿市长THOMAS MENINO亲自书信祝贺ROCKY 85周岁生日寿辰。这一天美国白宫特地送来一份美国国旗升旗荣誉证书：“THIS FLAG WAS FLOWN FOR ROQUE J. J ABULSOM ON THE OCCATION OF HIS 85TH BIRTHDAY。”ROCKY笑了，久经风霜的脸额露着玩童般的可爱。 认识ROCKY老人是我人生感情又一大收获。当邻居杨明劝我去写这个故事时，我还在怀疑它的真实性，甚至猜测这是一位精神忧郁症的症状表现。走近ROCKY，才知道ROCKY是真实的，才相信人世间有这样恒久的爱。十一年悠悠岁月，漫长的路，人生有一知己足矣！ JULIA，你是幸福的。有ROCKY与你相伴，一起看日出，一起赏日落；在朦胧的晨雾里陶醉往日相爱的余温，在沉默的大地里弥漫心语和真诚；在阳光的日子里描绘心情的五彩，在白雪嵦皚的冬眠中期待春天的来临。天堂与人间，千里共婵娟！
2004年 11月
SUZANNE KREITER/GLOBE STAFF/FILE
Rocky Abalsamo — shown at the grave of his wife, Julia, on Nov. 26, 2000 — died on Jan. 22 at age 97. For many years after his wife of 55 years died in 1993, he spent every day by her side at St. Joseph Cemetery in West Roxbury.
Rocky Abalsamo will never have to leave his wife again.
In December 2000, the Globe told the story of Roque “Rocky” Abalsamo, who spent nearly every day, all day, at the West Roxbury gravesite of his beloved wife, Julia “Julita” Echeverria Abalsamo. Rocky, who was then 84, had kept vigil during the seven years since his wife’s death, in rain and snow, heat and cold, arriving when St. Joseph Cemetery opened and trudging home to his Jamaica Plain apartment when it closed.
Rocky died Jan. 22 at Stonehedge Health Care Center in West Roxbury after several months of declining health, said his daughter, Angela Arai of Hanover. He was 97.
The Globe story propelled Rocky to minor celebrity. It appeared in various forms in The New York Times Magazine, on NPR, in newspapers as far away as China and Poland, and on readers’ bulletin boards and refrigerators. The attention amused Rocky, but all he wanted was to remain close to his wife.
et as teenagers in a cafe in their native Buenos Aires. Rocky was sitting with his back to Julita when he overheard her talking with friends “about the soul, about life, goodness,” Rocky recalled in a November 2000 interview. Even before seeing her face, he decided, “This is for me. I must know her.”
‘We know that he had a wonderful relationship with his wife, and like him, we put the other person first.’
“People no listen, people only see,” he said. “They need to listen, to see what is inside, to be happy.”
He said he fell in love with her “not because she was” – he made the symbol for an hourglass figure with his hands – “but she was,” he added, making the gesture again. “She was pure love. Her beauty was a gift apart, a reward.”
Rocky and Julita Abalsamo in an undated photo. The Buenos Aires natives followed their children to the United States in 1971 and settled in Boston a year later.
They shared a first kiss on Sept. 16, 1937, a date he celebrated annually. They married the following April. After their daughter Angela, they had a son, Roque Jr.
Rocky worked for three decades as a civil engineer while Julita tended their family. They followed their children to the United States in 1971 and settled in Boston a year later.
Rocky and Julita had been married for 55 years when she died in 1993 of complications after heart surgery. Distraught, he began spending his days at St. Joseph Cemetery.
“She is part of me, so here I am whole,” he said. “Being here makes me feel better. Not good, but better. I do it for Julita, and for myself.”
Among the belongings he carried daily to the cemetery was a photograph of a lovely woman with green eyes and dark hair. On the back, she had written: “Today the sky smiles to me. I see you. You look at me. Today I believe in God. With all my love, Julita.”
The Globe’s 2000 story, headlined “Endless Love,” described Rocky’s ritual:
“On cold days Rocky wears a patched and faded green parka. He owns other coats, but Julita knew this one best, so he will not change. He greets Julita — ‘I am here!’ Then he unfolds a blue beach chair — he leaves it every night against her headstone — placing it on a piece of plywood to keep it from sinking into the soft earth. Then Rocky relaxes, reading, writing, and reflecting. For exercise and to keep warm, he walks around nearby headstones engraved Cicciu, St. Clair, Doyle, Galvin, and Daley.
“He rarely eats or drinks, in part out of respect but also so he does not need a bathroom. On special occasions he toasts Julita with sparkling cider; he will do so Dec. 20, her birthday. Some days he brings a cassette player. On one tape they sing together, a Spanish lullaby. Rocky’s strong tenor is answered by Julita’s sweet soprano. Hearing Julita’s voice brings a smile to his face, a mist to his clear blue eyes.
“When dark comes, Rocky prays. He sprinkles crumbs on the grave, so chipmunks will keep Julita company after he has gone. Sadness returning, he says goodbye. He rubs her name on the red granite stone. The ritual has left an indelible mark.”
Over time, what began as a personal act of mourning touched dozens of others who came to the cemetery. Former strangers brought him meals, boots, hats, and scarves, and they decorated Julita’s grave with plants, ceramic angels, flags, and stuffed animals. He told them stories and shared his wisdom about life and love.
One of Rocky’s most regular visitors was Linda Handley, a math teacher in the Needham schools who lived across the street from St. Joseph Cemetery and walked the grounds for exercise. Handley noticed that a groundskeeper named John Tobin also took special care of Rocky. One day while Handley and Rocky were talking, Tobin brought Rocky a pair of sweat pants to wear as an extra layer on cold days. When Tobin left, Handley remarked, “What beautiful blue eyes he has.”
Rocky knew Tobin and Handley were middle-aged and had never married. Rocky arranged to have them visit him at the same time on the 61st anniversary of his first kiss with Julita. Handley and Tobin married a year later, and Rocky took a few hours away from his vigil to attend.
In their wedding program, they wrote: “We are convinced that the miracle of this day is the work of a very special person, Julita Echeverria. . . . We are grateful for the lessons of Dona Julita and her beloved husband and messenger, Don Roque Abalsamo. They have taught us that love is a true blessing and that the virtue of knowing how to give is the staircase to heaven.”
The couple remained close to Rocky in the ensuing years, even after retiring to Cape Cod. “Our marriage was a marriage made in heaven,” Linda said Thursday, “and Rocky is the one who watched over us all these years. He was like our spiritual mentor.”
“We try to model ourselves after Rocky,” she added. “We know that he had a wonderful relationship with his wife, and like him, we put the other person first.”
Rocky continued his daily pilgrimage until 2005, when his son was killed in a car crash in California. Although he still visited Julita’s grave regularly, Rocky spent more time with his surviving family members. “I think he had a realization at that point that we need to let go and we need to continue to live,” his daughter said.
His last visit was in July, before he fell ill.
Angela said her father’s vigil was often difficult for the family. “We always had a fear that something was going to happen to him, that we would find him frozen in the winter,” she said. “We had to let go from our fear so he could live the life he wanted to live.”
“The most special thing about my father was that he lived his life his way,” she added. “He lived one day at a time and enjoyed that day without preoccupations for tomorrow.”
The family planned a graveside service for Rocky, who leaves his daughter, five grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren.
When the Globe story ran in 2000, Rocky’s name and year of birth were already engraved on Julita’s gravestone. Near the end of his life, he told his daughter he wanted to be buried to Julita’s left, just as they had walked together in life. And so Rocky will be buried in the plot next to Julita’s, and they will rest side by side, forever.
