我的肉体,和我的心肠衰残。但神是我心里的力量,又是我的福分,直到永远 -- 诗篇 73:26
不泯的童心-献给父亲
得知父亲被诊断为老年痴呆, 我于去年三月赶回老家探望. 看着日渐衰残的老父, 听着他含糊不清的呢喃, 感受
他如江水东去的记忆, 我嚼咀着无奈, 沮丧及心痛.
一日午后, 我看见父亲的书桌上有一张他书写的纸条. 忍不住笑起来. 原来他那只多次失而复得, 并且是通过悬
赏一瓶五粮春才得己赎回的猫咪经常盘椐在他的书桌上, 恃意妄为, 令他十分恼火, 于是生一妙计: 武斗不如
文斗:
等他午睡醒后我恳请他再写点什么. 他说这次写给老鼠吧:
父亲不泯的童心给了我极大的安慰. 我深切地体会到了人的尊贵, 体会到我们的肉体虽然会衰残, 按着上帝形
象所创造的灵魂却永远年青, 信靠上帝的人更有永恒的家园. 回到美国后, 我作了一首诗来纪念父亲远逝的青
春以及与父亲一样饱受老年痴呆症折磨的老人家们: 爸爸, 上帝爱您, 我也爱您!
The Ghazal of Alzheimer’s Disease
Fatigue seizes you, day and night; slumber
swallows your whole body, so you surrender to remember
waking up, something you have done ages ago,
when forgetting was not a option to you. You remember
in your reveries the endless chasing, shouting,
laughters, and sharp aches, demanding you to remember
as long as you are still breathing, though faintly,
imperceptible, as if silk ripples spread out in wind, remember
it is hard to tell where you are, in the Gold Sand River
outside of your clay hut catching Sturgeon, do you remember
for sure it is not the Ming River, or the Yangtze River
after you married and moved to Yibin? Not hard to remember
the distant past, in your youth, the women you loved
even the ones deserted you, draining you like leeches, remember,
stop thinking about them, the ghosts of the rushing water;
do you see your children when they were young? And remember
how much they needed you, waited for your arriving home
when a business trip stole you from them, so much crae, remember
how easy to fall into memories like these when, Father,
all you want is to be able to wake up to today's sun, remember?