你尿炕了

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小时候,在我们东北老家流行一种名曰“扒尿炕”的游戏,就是几个孩子围成一圈,中间堆一堆沙子,堆成山状,山头上插 一根冰棍筷子,孩子们石头剪子布,谁赢了谁先开始,每人往自家门口搂一把沙子,谁搂得越多谁越成功,而且轮到谁谁就必须得搂一下,最后谁把冰棍筷子不小心 给搂倒了,谁就尿炕了,马上会遭到其他孩子的群起哄笑:XX尿炕了!XX尿炕了!
多年以后,和一个在官场上打拼的朋友聊起中国官场的种种游戏规则 时,朋友感慨道:还记得咱们小时候玩的“扒尿炕”吗?那个游戏就是为以后在官场上混好做准备的,那些会 玩的,会在刚开始时大搂一把,以后越来越小心,不会玩的, 刚开始时小心谨慎,看见别人搂得比自己多了,一着急,搂狠了,就尿炕了。或者正当你搂得聚精会神的时候,有人在旁边使坏,碰了你一下,你一哆嗦,也尿炕 了。最高明的玩家会把沙子搂得岌岌可危但就是不倒,轮到下一个,一碰就倒。有人问:你看见危险,干脆不搂,不就不能尿炕了吗?说这话的人是因为没玩过这个 游戏,这个游戏最重要的规则就是轮到谁谁就得多少要搂一把,如果有一个一点也不肯搂的,他就会被因故意捣乱而被踢出这个游戏。

其实朋友说这些话时忘了讲一些意外事件。有的时候游戏玩着玩着, 突然有一个身强力壮的孩子站起来, 踹倒那些已经堆得太大了的沙堆,大声宣布:你们玩赖, 你,你, 还有你, 都尿炕了!。于是,这轮游戏结束了, 同样的游戏,用同样的规则,又开始下一轮谁尿炕了的较量。

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