很久没有来了, 因为小田鼠让我和老公整天手忙头晕, 还有就是我忘了login password….. 没想到有天早上醒来, 突然脑子跳出1些数字, bingo! 竟然又让我想起来, 哈哈哈…. 还有新来的 nanny很有经验和小田鼠相处的很好, 所以我终于有时间坐下来, 记录那些难忘的事情！
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
从Santorini庆祝结婚3周年回来, 我就开始准备1个自己的新挑战----到学校修writing! 没想到不久就惊喜发现小田鼠已经偷偷钻进我的肚子啦~
Guess GOD has a wicked sense of humour, 当时我就像在空中, 1边是对自己的新挑战, 1边是等待中的小孩, 谁更重要? 我想了很久,觉的2边都重要, 因为人生不能为了小孩而失去自己的梦想, 但也不能为了梦想放弃生命的传递, 怎样去balance就是1种生活的艺术. 我喜欢挑战, 喜欢在各种不同的经历中成长, 感受生命存在的意义....
The first sign of pregnancy for me was extreme tiredness, all I wanted to do was sleep, sleep, and sleep. My skin started to break out like never before. I also started to feel a difference in my lower abdomen while doing regular exercises I'd normally do, I was sweating at the gym a lot more and getting really hot at night while I was sleeping. I didn't think I'd see changes as fast as I did but I was very in tune with my body ……
I’m used to eating clean, dance twice and working out 5 days a week, suddenly, I can't eat my favorite food--- salad, sushi & sashimi, and I don't like red meat at all, so I was struggling to find yummy protein foods. My BMI was underweight--110 lbs and 5'7, that’s pretty skinny and scary! so I got myself to eat pasta, piazza, grilled fish, beef & cheese etc. everything I’m not used to eating has been a challenge but I did it all in moderation cuz it’s for the good of my baby.
According to my dermatologist that our body absorbs 65% of what we put in it....... so I went to whole foods and bought all new organic products----shampoo, condition, showergel, lotion, tooth paste, perfume etc. Makeup--- I switched to Inika a brand from Australia, all products are Vegan and certified cruelty Free, I went completely natural and I love it~
不管小田鼠能不能听到, 我每天都会轻声的告诉他---妈妈在做什么, 爸爸在做什么, 今天的天气怎样, 妈妈看到怎样的风景. 希望小田鼠通过我的声音跟外面的世界连接. 虽然老公有时在旁边会听的大笑, 因为他觉的这样超搞笑, 但我觉的他真的不懂这种bonding between mama & son.
当我在library看书或写assignment, 不能跟小田鼠讲话的时候, 我就会带headset listen classical music w/ a soothing harmony and below 55 decibels, 这样2个人都能保持轻松的心情. 曾经看到有些妈妈把headset直接放在肚子, 我就做了study---according to some experts that amniotic fluid amplifies music while others claim the amplification only happens with low tones like that bass line that drives a song, the distance between mama’s belly and the fetus is not very wide so the headphones are propped right up against the baby’s ears, the safest way to play music for the fetus is up in the air.
14周, I went to A Pea in a Pod maternity store bought some stretch marks prevention lotions and oils for my boobs and belly, 太早用也许会miscarriage. 我也重新开始 regular manicures & pedicures,但是我都是带自己买的nail polish w/ less harsh chemicals. 因为美丽的装扮会让人感觉快乐, 好心情的妈妈就有快乐的宝宝.
我的OB Dr. 说怀孕其实是很自然简单的事, 只要放松保持快乐的心情就可以了, 因为健康的宝宝其实很历害的, 会紧跟着妈妈的生活节拍, 最可怕就是pig out and do nothing.
According to him that a good pregnancy workout can ease back pain and other discomforts and boost mama’s mood and energy levels, help increase circulation, stay in shape, help sleep better, prevent excess weight gain, Increase stamina and muscle strength and prepare for labor and delivery, reduce the risk of gestational diabetes and pregnancy-related high blood pressure as well as lessen the symptoms of postpartum depression etc.
20周, I hired a personal trainer Kelly who is certified to train pregnant woman, 因为白天我要上课, 所以7pm Kelly就会到家里教我做---a combo of Pilates, yoga and barre, 每周2次, 每次60mins. 游泳是我最喜欢的运动, 因为冬天家里的pool不能用, 所以我就和老公到gym, 每周游2次. 每晚睡觉前, 我就会弹琴几分钟告诉小田鼠睡觉时间到啦! 周6就去跳舞, 但不是我以前去的dance studio, 而是prenatal dance class, 在那里认识了很多快要当妈妈的朋友.
我为什么要白天上课, 晚上又是运动又是弹琴又是跳舞, 让自已那么忙? 因为我不要让白天紧张的课程造成自己内心的压力, 运动弹琴跳舞唱歌会及时的转移我的excitation foci, 让我全身放松, 达到身体心理平恒, 这是我在治疗PTSD时学到的1种自我保护和心理调整方法.
32周, 我慢慢减少运动量和老公开始参加1些prenatal classes, 老公最不喜欢Breastfeeding class, 因为那天只有2个爸爸参加让他有点不自然, 全程就是watching videos (completely non-sexy) of topless women w/ children hanging from their boobs, and then at the end came the “participation”, everyone in the class was handed a doll…..Everyone!!! LMAO…..
最喜欢的是“Infant and child CPR class”. As parents, we must know how to handle a life threatening emergency if our child is choking or isn't moving/breathing cuz of a fall or a near drowning, etc. We need to learn accident prevention and childproofing measures, the techniques are different for babies and older children, so it’s better to learn both.
大家跟着a certified instructor在自己或partner胸口练习CPR, 直到完全了解这种急救法. 将来如果真的遇到这种emergency, 我们就不用打完911哭着等ambulance, 因为时间就是生命!
X’mas前1周, 学校终于结束啦!!! 过完节, 我就开始准备Maternity shoot, 约喜欢的photographer, 买Greek goodness style dress, 因为从Santorini回来后才发现小田鼠, 所以Greece绝对是我的幸运地! 看到照片后, 发现怀孕女生真的超美, 用老公的话说 “ u’re glowing like sunshine ”, 哈哈哈….
接着就是my besties threw me a baby shower, 收到大家满满的祝福和礼物, 超感动!
Due day 是Feb. 12, 可是妈妈Jan.20就飞过来帮忙, 婆婆在due day 前1周也飞来了. 爸爸因为工作太忙, 直到前2天才飞到.
终于到了最后1周, 小田鼠可能在准备搬家, 经常跑来跑去, 让我睡不好. 有天深夜, 小田鼠又开始半夜跑步, 我睡不着就偷偷下楼, 看那个已经看很多次的birth video. 边看边练习呼吸, 没想到越练习我就越紧张, 做1半就忍不住大哭….
因为我和老公很早就讨论过Birth Plan. 曾经有想过water birth, research后取消了, 虽然妈妈会比较不痛但会让小孩cerebral anoxia, 因为水和Amniotic fluid是不同成分, infant不能在水中呼吸. 所以我就选了all natural birth plan which mean no pain relief, no inducing drugs etc.
我曾经很自信的想如果动物妈妈能做到, 为什么人就不行? 还有在非洲的时候, 我曾经帮难产的牛妈妈接生, 当时也没有害怕的感觉. 但是这次换成自己, 心情就变的很不1样, 感觉超紧张, 不知道是不是pregnancy hormones? 看着早就准备好的 hospital bag, 突然感觉好象除了我, 所有的人都已经ready, 而我却不知道我的水什么时候破?
不久, 老公也醒来跑下楼. 他坐在旁边, 握着我的手, 静静的听我哭. 最后我哭累了, 脑子空白在发呆, 他就抱着我, 边拍着我的背边轻轻的唱lullaby, 不知道过了多久, 最后我竟然很舒服的睡着了…..
小田鼠, 妈妈把这个写出来, 只是想让你知道其实妈妈也没有你想像的勇敢, 但是妈妈最大的优点就是能够说出自己真实的心情. 也许你觉的妈妈很傻, 不会隐藏弱点. 其实这不重要, 最重要的是你1 定要记住----the only person u need to beat and conquer on earth is yourself!
将来遇到怎样的问题都不要逃, 因为他不会消失反会越堆越多, do not judge yourself through someone else’s eyes, cuz it’s your own life. 当你勇敢的说出内心的紧张和害怕, 你就不会再被紧张和害怕包围, 因为你已经战胜了内心的软弱和表面的FACE, 可以很平静的面对真实的自己!
所以妈妈希望你将来不要把事情放在心里. 记住妈妈的motto---“I’d rather be honest than impressive”. 妈妈和爸爸永远都是你最好的朋友, 我们会耐心的听, 理解你的想法, 尊重你的选择.
3:48 am, Feb. 13, 2014, 小田鼠安全出生, weight 6lbs 8oz. 从开始痛到结束, 全程7hrs, 过程too rough就不讲了. 只是感觉时间走超慢, 我痛到都想直接死掉, 好几次都想要pain relief但最后还是没有要, 因为我就是想要真实经历成为妈妈的那种无法忍受的痛苦但是骄傲满满的感觉, 因为这就是新生命的意义! 所以我不停的对自己说 “soon I will meet my son, soon I will be a mom, I need to be strong, hang in there…..” 同时也很清楚的告诉自己, 下次绝对要用pain relief, 因为我不要再经历那种痛苦啦....
再次见到妈妈和婆婆,我心情很激动, 伸手拉住婆婆的手说 “mom, thank u for raising an amazing man that I’m proud to call my husband ” 再伸手握住妈妈的手说 “I love u, mommy!” 妈妈们听了马上就很有感觉的流泪, 我想只有妈妈才能真正的理解“妈妈”这2个字的意义!
After 9 months of waiting, I finally met my son. I hugged and kissed him while tears of joy filled my smiling face. Thank God for allowing me to experience the most meaningful moment of my life and giving me the opportunity to love and be loved. My beautiful boy, I want to be the best mom I can be and embrace u with all my love, thank u so much for choosing me…...
版权所有, 请勿转载, 非常感谢!
