2 Summer’s violet
Part 1____________
"My first sex love is an affair with a lady who had her family my dear Christy,
“It’s kind of shame to talk you about it,” the yellow certain swinging in breeze, hidden itself in shadow at the corner of windowsill.
Sat in my balcony, facing the Pacific Ocean, I started write my first email you, dear Christy.
"A big cup in her hand, she was coming to my door, that lady.
The summer that year was moist and sultry, cicada restless sung amid leaves.
Walked through in grilling heat, she brought me green bean porridge, she wanted to treat me.
I was 17 then, she was about 33.
Laying down on my bed after work, I heard the knock.
She stood outside in silence as I opened the door;
Her face was rosy half in shadow, the cup in her hand glistening in sunlight.
She eyes on me holding that cup; I looked at her;
Her plump breast swelled on her bosom, up and down in slight breath; the brown nipple tipped up on thin blouse.
My heart started drum in sudden, a sound "pong" lighted flame up inside of my body;
The plump breast, the pointed nipple…. in the moment we stared each other, still like stones in mountain.
Suddenly I stretched my hand out, grasped her arm, and pulled her in;
The door was kicked close behind, my whole body pressed her against the wall;
A hand extended into her blouse from the top of collar, thrust into the bra, and clenched her breast, the flesh of breast.
Sex desire, the grilling flame whirled up, from the bottom of my body to top of head with sound of crack;
I rubbed her breast rudely, fingers squeezed her nipple in rough, my hand was trembling on the flesh…..
She had no time to find a place to put that cup down, her body was unstable shaking in my wild force.
My arms were shaking, my breath was heavy……the youth energy, like hot magma melt in volcano explosion……
My body tightly against her with full force, and I hold her whole body up from the floor….. her legs were shaking in air…..
Hold her in this way, staggering to my bed, pushed her on it.
The sun was hot, my heart was hot, and I was in burning.
Moving her body around on bed, flurried to try unbutton her, her bra, and tried to drag her pants down;
Just a few minutes, quick as gust in wild;
I was an animal, head flush blank, heart beat wild, blood boil with crazily panting….
no feeling, no thinking, burning in sex of flame,..…
She was topless on the bed, her blouse and bra up under her neck, an embroidering violet on the bra, her pants down to her ankle, her body was naked before my eyes.
The breast, the leg, the pussy, her whole naked body, my brain blocked, my breath chocked, I couldn’t breathe ….
She closed her eyes, clinch her lips, turned her head aside.
My eyes fixed at her “woman’s part”, the secret heaven, covered with a few dark brawn under hair;
The first time, I saw naked woman, white and soft in quivering …..
Scrambling over her, my body was teetering, tried to get into her body...
Tried and tried ….and failed, I couldn’t get in, and I was so fluster, so nervous and hungry;
Sorry dear Christy, I am in shame to tell you this moment, my first sex in rough, and I am wondering if it will be ok in details.
Did I make a real love with that lady? Did I really get into her body?
No, I guess not.
A few minutes, a moment, the mind-out was over; my penis was weaken and withered;
She got up, bent her head, clean up herself a bit, and pull up her pants on;
My throat was so dry, my body was like fire flaming still, and my sun temple was wildly jumping….
Sat down on the edge of my bed, she won't look at me.
My heart still beat heavily; her face was so pale;
We, both of us, tried to not look at each other, and tried to cool down ourselves.
No words came out, only silence in the nervous.
I rushed to the door, my room was in the factory’s dormitory;
God, there was no person came.
We sat side by side on bed, she lean on my bosom, I hold her still;
The sun was brilliant outside, the clouds stopped floating in still; only cicada sounds one another hidden in the leaves;
I hold her in my arms a few seconds, quickly pressed a kissed on her face.
She seems won't leave;
It’s so quiet, a tap on downstairs was dropping, the water drops down on stone steps;
She moved away in heavy and slow, my eyes was following her;
Her steps sound on the sand of ground, as if thousand words she hadn’t say out;
Turning her head, she cast me a look,
I still stood by the door, eyes her till she lost behind the gate.
When I back in room, the cup there.
It’s still warm, the green beam porridge, she brought me, wanted to treat me.
I took it up, swallow all of them.
Part 2_________________
“You ask me how it happened dear Christy.”
It was second year I worked in that factory, 1971;
We, a group students, with less one year in a junior school, entered that iron gate of factory as snow covered city, the chill wind blew on our face like knife cutting.
Before that afternoon, my life is in normal;
the happiest time was to walk forward the dining hall, we could get something to eat!
Struck bowls with spoons, singing songs on the way, then lined up under the in small roof, chatting, joking each other….. got our meal from a tiny window, rice, a bit pork, with leaves of vegetables……
In most spare time, I read books, Russian novels, “Anne Karenina”, the first foreigner novel I’ve read at 16, “War and peace”, a big one for me; and Germany philosophies, “Philosophy of history”, “Phenomenology of Spirit”, hard to read but love it;
English learning book, “The basic of English”, the first and only English book available then, I started to learn ABC letters, and…..
Ow yeah, the music, and violin.
In elementary school, I started play “Erhu”, two strings music instrument called Chinese violin.
Once I played it, my mom laughing at me, “My son begins again to kill chickens” as the sound was horse and rough in terrible.
And from then, music started flowed in me like a creek, the rain God bring me, moist a young fellow in that dry season.
Three or four hours a day I practice violin, tried hard to be a professional player, for I wanted out of this factory.
I was thin and pretty tall at 177cm, never have girlfriend, and never have a chance to touch girls;
As one of my best friend said, "At that time, we don't know what the difference between man and woman, and we don't know which part the child come out in woman's body."
One day I was practicing violin, she, that lady, walked by my window, stopped, and one of my strings broken.
"Not that bad, the sound is nice …. you play will be getting better....” she said to me outside of window,
"Ow, thank you, it’s ok."
She looked at me for seconds, walked away;
In a glance, I saw her cleavage, and I heard my heart plucked first time, with vibrant of stirring,
and the ripple in her eyes when she turned to me, was kind and warm;
Murmured a song when she walked on, her breast and hip were swinging on her steps;
What she sung not be heard, but the sound in mellow tone like drizzling over the lake of my heart,
The music, my violin and her song, chord in secret harmony.
She has two young lovely daughters, her father is a professor in province's medical university; and her husband was a former army's officer, worked in the same factory.
We worked in found branch, and I had very tough job, had to lift a big hammer, smash the iron, broken it into smaller pieces,
Under sun, often got whole body sweat down, I was often wet like just come out from water.
A few of times I noticed that she was watching me from distance.
After that sex afternoon, I longed to meet her again;
Stood by the window after work, I hold my violin, waited for her;
she walked by the window, and met with my eyes;
Just seconds, then she walked away.
I got stirred, her eyes, her cleavage, my eyes was following her, her swelled breast and her plump hip swaging on her steps,
And she turned, and our eyes touched again, my heart tip hooked in her eyes;
She climb the stairs, and our eyes light still touched;
when the stair face to me, we could see each other;
the touching, the sparkling, the desire of “love” flaming, in the hot of the summer,
With hooked eyes, grasped heart, I stood there, in still, like frozen.
Part 3 ___________
The summer is getting to the end in hot September.
The trees was shaking their head in casual wind and rain was pouring down when we finished work in that afternoon.
After we had our first sex, I was so longing to meet her.
She was my dear lady, and occupied whole of my heart.
I saw her naked body, I taken her clothes off with wild force,
I touched her breast, I saw her pussy, her legs, the milky curving flowing down as a brook;
Once thought about it, ,my heart was wrapped in full of thrill
I was so happy to have a woman then, no shame, no sorry, only happy, just longing to see her again and again.
Each Friday afternoon, we would finish work earlier; and the time would be ours, she and me, as the rest of factory still run.
I stood by my window after a shower;
The rain stopped, our dome was washed fresh, and rainbow arched half colorful rings over the sky.
Watching at her door, hold my breath, waiting for her, waiting for her signal;
She was inside of that door, she knew that I was watching.
Waiting is such most painful time in love, deeply anxious, suffering, the heart was tighten each of cell in crazy;
The door has no move. The sun was hot, no breeze, no cicada singing, only my certain shaking as my heart.
I buried my head in it, only my eyes widely open in staring.
I knew that I was crazy but couldn't help in that way.
That dawn door, open please!
She appeared finally, stood inside of her door, didn't wanted be seen;
Looked around, then her eye lighted me in distance.
Our eyes touched through thousands of light years.
Was she sure that I got her signal, she turned her body, disappeared behind the door.
I could go now.
I could go forward to the door, could go forward to her, into that door, to hold her, to inside her, my lover, my plump woman.
Just minutes distance, I felt it’s so long,
I walked in slow, like a theft;
and wanted to quick neither, and so afraid of be seen, and my legs like iron heavy;
and my step, and my legs seems not on ground;
I was in air, step on water, step on a dream.
The sun was there, brightly shine, the wind was in its silence.
That's a so long distance to go through…..
I was going to have a woman, she was waiting for me inside that door;
She already hold in me, with my whole force of arms,
I hold her breast in my hands, hold in my kiss, hold her tight to death, as she often said, “I hardly breathe…. I hardly breathe…” such of imagination of sex senses my mind, just in that such short walking distance;
I felt that I even couldn't take breath freely myself by the rapture in my mind .....
Even not arrived her door yet, I felt that I already was exhausted, in those millions of thought, the sex desire, the anxiety of kissing…….
finally stood at outside of that door, I only had my last thread of energy.
“I’ve cooked a sweet wine porridge with eggs for you, here,"
once I entered her door, she carried a bowl forward me.
"Sit down, and have a nice eat." Her smile was sweet.
I smell her, her smell, the fragrant of sweat from a plump woman’s body.
Scarcely have time to answer her, or even look at her,
Ignored her face, her eyes, her plump bosom, I just wildly drag her into my arms,
my hands pressed on her plump body back, feel her soft body, a ripe woman’s body, start to kiss her, her neck, her lips, and grasp her plum breast, where my whole world is.
I push her to her bed, and unbutton her clothes, took her clothes off, and make love with her in hurry.
This time I really inside her, and drove inside her long, with my wild burning body, wild burning desire, like a whole house got fired, a big fire, a big flame.....
I was totally burning down, the youth energy, the wild sex force, the rude behavior, the crazy attitude… I was an animal.
I shot inside her body two times, without pull out my penis during this sex;
shot at one time, and my dick was still hard, not soft as usual, and I kept going on to drive, continues drive inside her, shot again inside her;
Once out of her door, I paced along a creek outside of factory;
Two boats moored under a willow tree in sunlight; the thin willow branches were swinging with cool breeze in the last purple ray in dusk,.
I stood, I listened, I felt I was new born child, took a deep breath, immerge in that moment, that we made love on her bed;
Casting a small stone, it took a round line to fall down in the surface of creek,
the spark of water ripple around, make the round circle spread away.
I was in my small new world, the wind is my violin, the cloud is my flute,
we play, we play together, our music like bird flying up over the sky…..
………….
As our affair was exposed, our “love” withered, and we got punished.
The grey clouds gathered in dark, the river surged up with sorrow.
The rain was falling down, the thousands sad raindrops shot on my face.
Dear Christy, I don't know what to say, that’s my first sex.
Just a couple of months long, my “love” was cut off in tricking blood, with my first “love”, with a married woman.
And in my heart, it’s me my dear Christy, I caused her to be punished, I am so sorry.
The rain poured on me, I was in wet and cold,
I crossed my arms on my breast on walking, under the grey sky, under the pouring rain,
It shower me, it bathed me, it wash me in shame.
Forgive me my lady, I beg your forgiveness.
Now I know that she are over 80s, like you, dear Christy.
inside of me, in the rain, she was holding that cup, she was coming,
holding that big cup with green bean porridge, the food she wanted to treat me;
And her plump breast, her naked body, and my hand, my wild hand …
It was the summer, with the embroidering violet bra hang on that afternoon.
