Back in April, an Alabama man sued his county official for not allowing him to marry his MacBook. Judge Cris Green decided to hear this case in court.
No wonder the Court docket is always clogged! I still cannot believe that nerd got his day in court, while my prisoner client who sued for a broken ankle he sustained while being chased by the police was dismissed on the pleadings! A much more meritorious case in my view.
I digressed. What I am trying to say in this blog is that, social isolation is the plague of the digital age, and attorneys are the most susceptible group. Did I forget to mention that the Alabama MacBook's groom-to-be is a former attorney?
Take me for example. I lock myself in my office 10 hours a day, with my computer. (I have a decade-old Dell PC, a little slow of course but much more manlish than MacIntosh). Every morning I spend an hour putting on my makeup and a fine outfit, endure half-an-hour Bart ride (without air conditioning most of the time), just so I can be with my computer behind a closed door for the next 10 hours, just the two of us. I write to my computer; I talk to my computer; I eat two meals without turning my eyes away from its screen; I take my computer out for coffee breaks; I don't see a real person the whole day but I fix my makeup in the middle of the day anyway, so I will look as fresh to my computer in the afternoon as the moment we just met.
So if anyone should marry a computer, it should be me. I spend so much time during the day with my computer, I may as well sleep with it. Oh wait, I am already doing that. I take it to bed and fall asleep with it telling jokes to my ears.
You may wonder, during all this time I am having intimate interactions with my computer, where is my husband? He is with his. And of course, his is a slender Mac Air dressed in rosy gold.
I have 2,200 billable hours on my shoulders, a huge mortgage to pay off, and I missed the lottery by all 6 numbers every year. Yes, I am going to be with my computer in sickness and in health, until death do us apart.
为写而写 发表评论于
哈哈哈，宁宁是个段子手啊！
简宁宁 发表评论于
回复 '金大班' 的评论 :
Thank you your honor! Have I said that your honor is the most beautiful judiciary I have ever seen?
金大班 发表评论于
I now pronounce you husband and wife
简宁宁 发表评论于
回复 'ZheFei' 的评论 :
Dear ZheFei, now that I am finally recovered from my nonstop work in the past 2 months, I finally gathered enough energy to reply to your question -- sorry :) As to Arpaio, your guess is as good as mine. Only by looking at his wiki page, my guess is that most of his charges could be argued as "political" rather than purely "criminal." It is hard to answer a legal question without knowing the facts of the case :)
ZheFei 发表评论于
I always believed the US justice system was one of the best. However, when I read about what the former sheriff Joe Arpaio had done over the years, I often wonder how Arpaio, the most corrupt and abusive sheriff in US, could get away for so long (let's put the "pardon" aside.) How could this happen?
简宁宁 发表评论于
回复 '思韵如蓝' 的评论 :
Hi 思韵，我看到你在你博客里给我的留言了，看的我好开心 ～～～ 谢谢你！的确，这种搞笑的方式在英文里面被运用的更多，所以用英文写起来也更自如一些。我几乎是一来美国就喜欢上这种风格了。除了有趣之外，它还有一个特点 -- it's all about nothing. I LOVE the nothingness in life :)
Hi there Godfather fan :), my business is a little demanding, but not nearly as rewarding. I wouldn't call my paycheck hand"some", it is merely hand"ful" :)
说到“睡觉踏实”，我深有同感。我在这一行干了十多年了，我做过的以及我听到的看到的都让我对美国的法制系统充满了信心－－它是非常严谨的，的确是这个社会公平公道的最后一道防线。Knowing that the law is both strict and just, it allows me to sleep well at night.
Have a good Saturday ~~
Liberty-bell 发表评论于
"It doesn't make any difference to me what a man (woman) does for a living. But your business is, uh, a little dangerous." (Don Corleone)
At least you're being rewarded handsomely for your hard work.
