"Simple and Sinister" is a kettlebell exercise program
from Pavel Tsatsouline of StrongFirst. There
are only two major moves--the swing and the
get-up--and a session including warmup finishes in
30 minutes. The "Simple" goal requires 100 one-arm
swings in five minutes, a one-minute rest, and 10
get-ups in 10 minutes, all with a 32kg kettlebell.
It appeals to something primal and monotonous in
me and I have been on it since early 2015.
The journey has not been smooth until the second
year. I made most rookie mistakes lifting the 16kg
but enjoyed the 24kg very much. I even bought one
in China so that I could train when I visited dad.
Decades of ignoring posture and physical
conditioning, however, caught up with me when
I attempted the 32kg last Nov. My collar bones
hurt and the shoulders hurt when retracting and
pressing down. The weight was too much for
my frame. It was the concept of "practice" that
prevented me from giving up.
I stopped one month, briefly switched back to
24kg, and then resumed 32kg in Mar 2017. I could
do only two-arm swings. Visiting dad in Aug set me
back another month of no training. Meanwhile, I
kept doing yoga, hanging on the pullup bar, and
trying to sleep on a hard surface with a much
smaller pillow. I figured if my forward head and
slight kyphosis were formed during the day when
programming, I could fix it by lying on my back on
a hard surface at night. All these seemed to help.
The pains were gone by mid-2017.
Two weeks ago, I started to do one-arm swings, 40
first and then 60, and this morning I did all 100
in 10 minutes. It felt great. One-arm swings
require a much stronger grip and "torque", i.e., the
rotational resistance of the body. Patience has
paid off and I am so happy I could finally do it.
The Simple goal is very close now but, no hurry,
let me perfect my swings and savor the training.
