Loneliness chews you up/out in human life. How can you make peace? You seek social proof - following the lead of similar others (要死也要找个人垫底)。
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It’s called social proof. We follow the lead of similar others. It’s why infomercials have shifted
from “operators are standing by, please call now”
to “if the lines are busy, please try again.”
If you might get a busy signal, it means a lot of people are making this unnecessary purchase. I need to get mine now! It’s why people are more likely to make an effort to save energy when they find out their neighbors are doing it. And it’s why you never considered spending your Sunday morning laying down between a garbage can and a rock on a park bench, but suddenly you got really, really into planking.
Social proof is most powerful when we’re uncertain about what to do: that’s when we pay attention to what others are doing. And we’re most likely to follow their lead when we feel we have something unique in common with them—or when we look up to them. So when you’re trying to get your partner to eat healthier and they’re hesitant to give up their 10 p.m. ice cream ritual, tell them someone they admire is a big fan of the new Keto Paleo Dumbo Cleanse.
Even without a handy friend to refer to, there are ways of choosing your words carefully to achieve what’s best for everybody. For instance: Adam is late. To everything. Always. He has a chronic inability to disengage from his current task before it’s done. And consistently underestimates how much time he needs to prepare for wherever he’s going. For years Allison tried to convince him to leave earlier. She tried “miscalculating” the starting time of events so his tardiness would land him on time. But he caught on. Eventually she decided to just ask him: “Will you be late today?”
https://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/a19872470/marriage-happiness-tips/
