My trip to China would not be complete without seeing relatives and having sumptuous dinners, a tradition that is imbedded in our culture and dies hard. Honestly I don’t like being enveloped in an enclosed room with loud noise and stagnant air, where people eat, smoke, drink and talk. But a get-together might be the most effective way to greet everybody without visiting door to door. Being away for so many years, unfamiliarity breeds, though Mom has been doing a good job filling the gap, telling me the stories about the younger generation and each family during my absence, and I piece them together with my own imaginations.
Xiao Shuang is my niece. She is slim, tall, and pretty. Under her short but stylish hair is a face with fair skin, typical to Southeastern girls in the area. She is still single in her early 30s, considered to be a “leftover girl” in the public eyes. I remember seeing in year 2014’s Spring Festival when I was home, talking to her into any possible relationship. Five years have gone by, and she remains unmarried. She never reveals her inner self to me of how it feels being alone. When asked how her routine weekends are like, she would tell me that she whiles them away reading, listening to music or watching movies. But what mom later told me made my jaw drop. A quiet shy girl like her turns out to be a frantic fan of certain singers, pursuing the live concerts as far as in Spain. Additionally, she frequented Shanghai for new movies premiere, staying there overnight just for a movie.
I tried to find commonality among her life and mine, asking myself where I was at her age. In my whole life, I’ve never been to one big live concert. My ideology is more traditional, thinking that life without marriage is never complete, not that your name is not carried on nor your bloodline is not extended, but life should be multifaceted. Being single, you never know what it tastes to have your other half filled, matched or mismatched.
But I guess she lives her own way, independently and self-fulfillingly. Even though in poeple's eyes she is a 3S women, a term coined in early 2000s standing for "single, seventies (1970s) (she is 1980s) and stuck", she does not feel herself stuck in middle of anywhere, but carefree without the bondage. With a decent job and income, she does not seem to need a marriage to step up herself into instant wealth or higher social status. Plus, there is no free lunch in this world, gaining means sacrifice.
最近忙着catch up工作，马上又要人在旅途。今天再上来看看，暖mm终于开门了，好开心。家乡的水退了家人一切平安就好。暖mm你这标题，肯定让好男人们暗自得意，觉得自己是稀有动物了。不过我觉得好男人还是挺多的，就是好男遇上好女的几率太小。我手下一帅哥，天天问好女人都去哪了，问天问地问到现在就问成剩男了。：）他以前还经常中午请假奔着结婚的目的去date，现在已放弃要结婚的奢望，觉得一个人也不错，吃香喝辣，戴名表穿名鞋，到处游山玩水，挺滋润的。暖mm，Enjoy the rest of the summer. 我们9月再见！
回复 '7grizzly' 的评论 : Thank you, my friend. Fewer girls at her age likes reading philosophy. Reading too much made her raise her bar:) I will forward your advice to her for sure. The advice is actually universal, married or not, one needs to be strong and independent. Thanks again.
For your niece, I'll borrow something from someone I respect: be whatever you want to be, but be strong first.
And hone your strength everyday. Marry or not, you are going to needed it.
