It first appeared on the radar a year ago and this week I finally read
the acclaimed memoir. It was inspiring how the author wove so much of
the first 26 years of her life into three months of solo-hiking on the
Pacific Crest Trail (PCT). I myself have been writing with the idea of
the past reaching out to shape the current and the future. But Strayed
has delivered with humor and style. The reading was smooth and I felt I
would read it again.
I ran and hiked on trails enough to appreciate the challenges Sheryl
overcame and was looking for tips automatically. Before converting to
sandals, I went up Mission Peak in Nikes and didn't like it. My old
Merrell early this year gave me a black toe after a trail run. No
wonder her feet hurt in hiking boots and she ended up losing six toe
nails to the trail. It was telling that, after days in her second pair
of boots which were already one size larger and better fit, she spent
a large portion of a limited budget on a pair of sport sandals at the
next re-supply station. I was disappointed that she didn't revisit the
subject after that. But this fact by itself could be revealing. I could
imagine she continue to hike in boots but regularly switch to sandals
and things became easier. Of course, she was not as obsessed with
feet-bettering, but I wonder if anyone asked her the question.
I could relate to a desperate 22-year-old losing mom to cancer.
Her world crumbled in the following years and it struck me that in this
"free" society, she had more ways to ruin herself, with sex and drugs,
e.g. Was this freedom's dark side? I didn't understand the adulterizing
part, however, when she claimed multiple times that she loved her
ex-husband. But "love" seemed a most abused word. It meant different
things to different people at different times and, again, she might have
the options, unfortunately. Overall, commitment didn't seem to be her
forte. Not before hiking the PCT, at least, where the only choice was
to keep on going.
Troy, who drove around South Cal five days a week delivering chips for a
living and who gave Sheryl a lift, regreted his life and confessed that
he was "a free spirit who does not have the balls to be free." Maybe so
but I think he under-appreciated his own life when he said he would do
everything to trade places with the girl.
The book doesn't seem to embrace the idea but I somehow feel that no
life is inherently better than the one I have been trusted with. Driving
a delivery truck is no more superior or inferior than solo-hiking the
PCT. Everyone's fighting a battle I know nothing about. And ultimately,
it is my own duty and task to make it meaningful.
So to Troy, I would send the following quote:
Lead me, Zeus, and you too, Destiny,
To wherever your decrees have assigned me.
I follow readily, but if I choose not,
Wretched though I am, I must follow still.
Fate guides the willing, but drags the unwilling.
-- Cleanthes
