Anssi 要走了

上个星期四，很无意的发现Anssi面容严肃，就想起来给他发Skye. Skye是我常用的，但不是他用的。太多回忆，不知道从何说起了。

我很撒娇似的要他抱抱，因为要报考AWS. 结果他告诉我他已经正式通知公司离职了。太没想到了！我一时不知从何说起，装作震惊的问他到哪里。他还是很耐心的解释了。说主要是为了事业的发展，还说有25%的工资提高。我还能说什么呢，只好祝福他。我还是撒娇，要他给我买礼物。

周五我还是不能自已，赶紧跟他打招呼，聊聊啊。说这说那，说他的后背，和伤。 他说Hannu对他不公平啊。

一个周末都是蒙蒙的。感觉不能睡，不能想。像是一切都回来了。我记得他一瞬间的体温。好像是在Nokia的一次次失之交臂都回来了。感觉这份工作真的是把一切都还原了。我找到了一切的感觉，难道下一步就是离职了吗？我已经这把年纪了，离职后又能怎样呢？

昨天周一，我想跟他要礼物。脑子里都是要跟他求证我们的下一步亲密关系。要他跟我中午去给需要救助的孩子们买礼物，他拒绝了。我慌了，跑出去给孩子们买了礼物， 也给他带了一个。回来的路上碰到了Sakari, 他看到了我的慌张和抑郁。

本来在餐桌上把礼物给了他。以为自己很得意。回来在Slack上接着聊啊。结果，结果还我怕的结果，他在下午给我把礼物退了回来。

"Ah this is going to be so awkward... okay, I appreciate you are being nice and friendly, and that is really appreciated, but I think this is a bit too personal and I don't think our thoughts on that are going the same direction. I may be wrong and you are just trying to be super friendly but I just feel this is the case. I cannot accept this gift because it would make me feel guilty for both accepting that and you would be expecting something in return. I am really sorry but I think this is going to be more disappointment for you if I don't speak up now. I hope I have not created false expectations based on my actions, at least that has not been the intent. I don't know how to make this less awkward but could you possibly gift it to someone else or return it? I am really really sorry."

 

是啊，我还能再nice一点吗？

 

 

 

登录后才可评论.