突然想起年轻时,曾经有段时间,以为自己一生会充满冒险,浪迹天涯:)

至少来美国之前,结婚之前,有那么几年时间,我是那么感觉的。

那时候,城市街道里刚开始有舞厅,录像厅。张国荣周润发携港台警匪片像旋风一样登陆中国大陆。

那时候我在家里并没有家的感觉。在学校也没什么朋友。因为骄傲且怕受伤,也不爱和人亲近。周末独自跑出去透气,主要活动就是是看港台录像。纵横四海,看了很多次,心理上几乎是代入了。

特别喜欢张国荣。

后来,琢磨了一段时间红楼梦。发现自己对张国荣的喜欢,那种心态,竟然和红楼梦里宝玉喜欢女子,进而觉得天下男子皆是污浊的,那种感受完全相同。

后来,我离开中国时,内心还隐隐欢喜。以为自己终于要开始浪迹天涯了。

却不知是来到美国,做了一辈子比在中国更温良恭俭让的,贤妻良母……现在想想,命运是多么有趣:)

 

 

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