After nearly six months of waiting, Tim was elated when the news came late Fri
afternoon that he was accepted at B, a prep school. "I never saw mom this
happy." he told me on our weekly hike the next morning. "Well. That's what this
is all about, isn't it?" I said.
I don't know if this applies to others but three generations of boys in our
family have all worked hard to please their moms. In spite of a late start and a
couple of setbacks, my dad went to college and made his folks (mom and sister)
proud. When I went to university, it was more of mom's dream than mine that was
fulfilled. Today, it looks like the same theme is replaying in Tim.
I recognized this force early in school where one's future and worth and how he
was judged by others depended solely on his grades. But for me, the real
strength was mom. Her smile was the best award, her praise the highest honor,
her silence the unbearable torture, and her sadness the eternal punishment. My
mom never needed to scold me or help me. She simply suffered and loved.
I was asked by a mom once on how to help her kid achieve in school. "Let him know
that you love him and that you suffer to make his future brighter. He will do
anything to love you back." Why is this so? It could be evolution--those who
didn't follow the rule died out. Regardless, maternal visions seem to determine
where we go, at least in the first stage of life.
Tim was bubbly all the time. "I'm getting better at math, Dad." "I hope you are
not bragging." "Oh. No. My grades went up when mom finally couldn't help with my
homework and had to leave me alone." Yes. He is on the same track.
