大學校園,幾萬男女,卻找不到可婚那位,緣與份,可遇不可求 - Mystery!
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Professionally ambitious women really only have two options when it comes to their personal partners — a super-supportive partner or no partner at all.
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I agree with the premise that it is better to stay single than marry someone unsupportive. But...Men or non-binary humans don't need a supportive spouse? I'm struggling to understand the narrow lens. It might make sense in a women's magazine but in the Harvard Business Review?
4 Replies4 Replies on Ryan Dubois, M.Ed.’s comment
Christina Long Ahhh.
The support from men at work…that’s the issue, not necessarily the man at home.
That can be frustrating for some women.
What makes that even worse is they not only getting lame support from a lot of males at work, there’re getting undercut in many quiet and invisible ways.
I get it.
Thank you for pointing out your valid perspective.
The support from men at work…that’s the issue, not necessarily the man at home.
That can be frustrating for some women.
What makes that even worse is they not only getting lame support from a lot of males at work, there’re getting undercut in many quiet and invisible ways.
I get it.
Thank you for pointing out your valid perspective.
I sorta agree.
We men are slow at some things not because we are innately slow but because we don’t prioritize them.
Asking a potential mate if he could see himself prioritizing, say in the top three….your career ambitions, and you get an emotional yes as he puts his wine glass down, you’ve got a good start.
Now your due diligence kicks in and his sincerity gets put on display.
After the 3 dates, one of which will be cancelled because of a work issue, his others lights will get turned on….or stay off.
Oh, and yes, from my perspective, this topic is an important issue for women.
To be their best in the workplace and find a suitable and fun loving partner requires great awareness and understanding.
We men are slow at some things not because we are innately slow but because we don’t prioritize them.
Asking a potential mate if he could see himself prioritizing, say in the top three….your career ambitions, and you get an emotional yes as he puts his wine glass down, you’ve got a good start.
Now your due diligence kicks in and his sincerity gets put on display.
After the 3 dates, one of which will be cancelled because of a work issue, his others lights will get turned on….or stay off.
Oh, and yes, from my perspective, this topic is an important issue for women.
To be their best in the workplace and find a suitable and fun loving partner requires great awareness and understanding.
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Off the mark. If you’re in a partnership, of any description, it should be ‘supportive’ and meet the needs of both partners. How is your gender correlated to, or dictates the expectations or requirements of support from your partner?!
1 Reply1 Comment on Lise Sperling’s comment
Lisa unfortunately from your comment is is apparent you didn’t read the article.
I'd have thought this is an absurd and depressing suggestion. Can you not have high ambitions personally and professionally? If you are a high achiever, you will find a way through to find a compatible partner if you want one. And whatever your gender, surely supporting your partner is pretty much a sacrosanct rule? I found that article overly negative and apportioning blame to a certain gender. Life and career is all about trade offs with all relationships whether professional, personal, intimate or otherwise. Quite surprised it made the cut on HBR
“Professionally ambitious women really only have two options when it comes to their personal partners - a super-supportive partner or no partner at all. Anything in between ends up being a morale- & career-sapping morass.
Fill the VACuum for better balance at home.
V - Vision
Discuss long-term personal & professional goals early, & revise regularly. Lack of alignment & mutual support between couples can derail entire life strategies. Be clear about what support will be required & expected to achieve these goals & where it will come from.
A - Active listening
Introduce regular sit-down listening sessions. Dedicated, face-to-face, concentrated, unspeaking, listening to everything your partner needs to say. Repeat back what you heard. Adjust as necessary & switch.
C - Comments & feedback (aka flattery)
Everyone appreciates feedback; 5 positive comments for every “constructive” one. Everyone love to be admired, especially by their intimate partners.
Retaining women, at home & at work, takes skill & self-awareness.
Adapted from HBR article, ‘If You Can’t Find a Spouse Who Supports Your Career, Stay Single’ by Avivah Wittenberg-Cox
Fill the VACuum for better balance at home.
V - Vision
Discuss long-term personal & professional goals early, & revise regularly. Lack of alignment & mutual support between couples can derail entire life strategies. Be clear about what support will be required & expected to achieve these goals & where it will come from.
A - Active listening
Introduce regular sit-down listening sessions. Dedicated, face-to-face, concentrated, unspeaking, listening to everything your partner needs to say. Repeat back what you heard. Adjust as necessary & switch.
C - Comments & feedback (aka flattery)
Everyone appreciates feedback; 5 positive comments for every “constructive” one. Everyone love to be admired, especially by their intimate partners.
Retaining women, at home & at work, takes skill & self-awareness.
Adapted from HBR article, ‘If You Can’t Find a Spouse Who Supports Your Career, Stay Single’ by Avivah Wittenberg-Cox
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No,no,no,no .... Same way, If you will be a employee to your boss, oops "husband" for maKe childs, clean and cook and will need abandoned your dreams, future and career, shut down and be single and happy creature. This sexist era passsed away ????!! By the way, thats a very bad point of view for 2021, when everybody needs colaborative act, no matter who, husband, wife, kids, parents or friends. No one needs a toxic relationship!
GREAT article!!!
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What a horrible advise? This is completely ridiculous. You cannot equate a spouse to a job! Marriage is a great institution. Comparing a human dimension to life with job satisfaction is simply undermining and abusing the institution. We talk gender balance in organisations… the same should be encouraged in life partnering as well. There are thousands of family oriented successful women like Indira Nooyi… As HBR you should support for successful women in career as well as in family… instead you resort to running away from challenge and offer scrap solution… incredible!
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Interesting article. I tend to agree with the premise. I would think that any developing relationship would talk this through before committing. When my wife and I married 49 years ago we assumed the traditional roles of marriage. Today with those traditions have changed and it is imperative that planning and communication about careers be in the forefront. I would say that dual career relationships add a greater degree of complexity to a relationship. That fact that throwaway relationships are common and divorce rates greater than 50% i agree with the author. if your career comes before your relationship then stay single.
You need an intelligent prediction tool to identify this type of future spouse
1 Reply1 Comment on Dr. Hari Nair, PMP®’s comment
Partners relate better when their emotions are aligned with each other. Human emotions can be too erratic. I doubt if any intelligent prediction tool will work.
Ryan Dubois, M.Ed. out of network3rd+Mortgage Loan Originator at First Colony Mortgage